Should have. Past tense. A reminder that this, whatever “this” was, was over. She should’ve been relieved at that, but the truth was she was hurt. And yet, looking up into his face, she knew he’d been hurt worse. Far worse. He’d lost the woman he’d loved. A brother he’d loved. To him, love meant a possible loss.
And yet he’d still put himself out there, willing to get hurt again. She admired that. She envied that. Maybe even dreamed of it for herself. Of course when she’d secretly dreamed of such a thing, she’d pictured a softer, gentler man than Lucas. One who wasn’t quite as . . . well, everything that encompassed and screamed alpha male like Lucas did.
But sometimes the heart wanted what it wanted, and if hers could speak, it’d say it wanted the man standing right in front of her, bigger than life, stoic and silent. His hair was dusted with snowflakes, as were his shoulders, and when he met her gaze, his inky black lashes had flakes on them as well.
“I think it’s time to go,” he said.
No. Tell him you were wrong. But instead, she played the coward. She nodded and they left.
Chapter 19
#WhyIsTheRumGone
Lucas was no closer to understanding exactly what had happened between him and Molly when he woke up the next morning. For the first time in a very long time, he didn’t have a plan on how to proceed on a problem. Not a clue. Because no matter what he wanted to tell himself, this thing between them wasn’t over just because he wanted it to be. It didn’t work like that because this wasn’t just a physical attraction. It was far more and he knew it. And, yeah, he’d gone in reluctantly, and not just because he was friends with Molly’s brother, or that he and Joe were in fact partners. Or that Archer might kill him in his sleep if he found out Lucas had touched her.
It was the fact that more than anyone he knew, Molly deserved love.
But love hadn’t ever worked out for him. Not once. And he wouldn’t hurt her, not for anything.
And yet even knowing all that, he was still in. All in.
But she wasn’t.
And that meant that his feelings were his own issues, and he’d figure out how to deal with them.
When he got to work, Molly’s desk was vacant. He moved past it and into the employee room and found her doling out doughnuts and coffee. Ignoring him completely, she served everyone before turning to him.
He managed a small smile.
She didn’t manage any smile at all.
He peered into the doughnut box. Empty. Damn. He lifted his gaze. “We need to talk.”
“When hell freezes over.”
He blinked and she rolled her eyes and held up a finger in his face. “Let me repeat. When. Hell. Freezes. Over.”
That was when he realized she had on a headset and was speaking into her microphone. She was on the phone. Her gaze was on him, though, and he knew from experience that she got pissy when she was uncomfortable.
Well, he was uncomfortable too, dammit. And worse, he missed her already even though she was standing right there in front of him.
Still talking on the phone, she turned from him and left the room.
“Ouch, man,” Joe said, munching on a doughnut and sipping coffee. “What did you do to piss her off?”
“Good question,” Archer said, his sharp gaze steady on Lucas. “Is there something we need to know?”
“Other than this plan of yours for me to be her secret backup while at the same time being your spy is ruining my life?” he asked. “No, there’s nothing you need to know, except you’re both on my shit list.” And with that, he snatched the rest of Joe’s doughnut and—taking his own life into his hands—Archer’s coffee, and took off for his own office.
Joe showed up a few minutes later. “How’s it really going?” he asked Lucas.
“It’s . . . going.”
“I mean with the project,” Joe said, putting the word project in finger quotes.
Lucas leaned back and looked at his partner, well aware of what he was asking, but feeling just peeved off enough about the project to make him say it out loud. “Which one?”
Joe looked behind him to make sure they were alone. “Molly and the old lady elves. What’s really going on with that?”
“Have you tried asking her yourself?”
Joe grimaced. “Look, she doesn’t belong out there doing what we do, okay? She’s . . . amazing, but too soft to do it.” He shook his head. “She’s always been that way, far too tenderhearted for her own good, dragging home strays, wanting to save the world. She’ll believe any sob story given to her. She loves too hard. She’ll get taken advantage of doing what we do—”
“Don’t,” Lucas said. “Don’t do that.”
“Do what?”
“Don’t belittle her. She’s not a little kid anymore, Joe. Nor is she incompetent. Far from it. In fact, she’s smart as hell. Look, a lot of bad shit happens to all of us, and our experiences have made us hard. Cold. But not her. She’s special, and stronger than both of us put together.”
This got a moment of surprised silence from Joe. And since Lucas didn’t want to fight with him, he rose and grabbed his laptop for their meeting.
“What’s going on between the two of you?” Joe asked.
Lucas turned back. “You asked me to get involved. I’m involved. And you know what? Out of all the things she loves, she loves you the most. Instead of trying to hold her back, do you know what you should be doing? You should be doing the job you asked me to do. You should be training her, letting her fly, and stand at her back while she does.”
Joe was stunned. “This is all just a phase for her. Why would I do that?”
“It’s not a phase. And you should do it because she would do it for you,” Lucas said. He then walked out of his own office, doing his best to shrug off his irritation at Joe.
If this is how Molly felt all the time, he didn’t know how she dealt with it.
The rest of the day went on in much the same vein. He and the team had been working a corporate investigation case. An HR director at a large attorney firm had heard rumors that the president was known to be having an affair with a subordinate. Notwithstanding the fact that the executive was married to someone else, company policy expressly prohibited such office relationships. The affair put the firm at significant risk of legal action by the female against the company and the executive if the relationship became public, or worse, failed in a bad way. Unfortunately the HR director needed hard evidence to support the termination of the employees for violating company policy.
Enter Hunt Investigation. Today was day five of surveillance and Lucas and Joe were up.
Lucas drove, feeling Joe’s eyes on him. “Something on your mind?”
“I feel out of the loop.”
“On what?” he asked, and watched Joe struggle to maintain the guy code that said they couldn’t discuss emotional issues for too long. That was the real five second rule. He sighed. “I feel out of the loop on you and Molly.”
“There’s no loop,” Lucas said and wished that it wasn’t true.
Joe took a deep breath. “You were right before,” he said quietly. “About me being overprotective of her. It’s a lifelong habit, one I don’t know how to break.”
“You need to learn before you lose her.” Like I did . . .
They fell silent after that, each lost in their own thoughts. Fifteen minutes later, they were in an upscale restaurant not far from the law firm’s offices, watching the illicit couple in question order and toast themselves with a very expensive champagne.
“He’s telling her he got her a little something special,” Lucas said behind his water glass.
“If it’s his dick, I hope it’s more spectacular than his hairpiece and beer belly stressing the buttons on his shirt,” Joe said.
“It’s probably jewelry.”
“Bet?”
“Yeah,” Lucas said. “Today’s lunch.”
“You’re on. But if you lose, I’m ordering the most expensive dessert on the menu.”
Lucas watched the woman give her lover a secret smile and cock her head toward the back hallway where the restrooms were. Then she got up from their table and sauntered down the hallway and out of sight.
Shit. It was going to be his dick.
Joe shook his head in disbelief as the man waited a minute and then followed her. “Going to need some audio for evidence,” he said. “Your area of expertise.”
“Since when?”