But she kept thinking about it. What was he trying to tell her? That she shouldn’t play baseball?
It so happened that Madeline was checking on her mother one afternoon when Leo texted again. Are you still thinking about baseball?
No.
Think about it!
“What’s that?” her mother asked.
“Oh,” Madeline said with a shrug. “Someone in Colorado.”
“Yeah, who?”
Madeline looked at her mother. She had been complaining about Ron, and how she was ready for him to take a hike, but that she had an insurance payment coming up. She had not once asked Madeline about how she’d felt about Colorado. Not once. “He is the brother of someone I fell in love with,” Madeline said curtly.
Clarissa’s brows rose to her hairline. She was speechless for a moment. “Well, well, well,” she said, a smile spreading across her face, “Maddie isn’t a robot after all.”
“Hey!” Madeline said.
“Well? It’s not like you ever have boyfriends for more than a week.”
“Thanks, Mom,” Madeline said. “Maybe that’s because I’ve seen how well you’ve done with them.”
Her mother’s eyes narrowed. “You watch how you talk to me, miss. I never said I was no saint.”
“No, you never said that,” Madeline agreed.
“If you love some guy, what the hell are you doing here?” her mother asked, waving her hand at her daughter.
Madeline gaped at her; anger surged like a tidal wave through her—she wanted very much to punch a wall. “Good question. What am I doing here? Oh that’s right—taking care of you.”
“Me!”
“Yes, Mom—you. I am always taking care of you! Someone has to, because you damn sure don’t.”
Her mother looked surprised. And then she laughed. Laughed. As if the joke was somehow on Madeline. “No one asked you to take care of me, did they? Look here, Madeline Grace, what are you, twenty-eight?”
“I’ll be thirty next month, Mom.”
“Okay, you’ll be thirty. So think about how long you’ve been trying to make us into something we’re not, some cutsie mother-daughter story. Don’t you get it? I’m not going to change, I’m not going to miraculously turn into the kind of mother you’ve always wanted. I don’t want you taking care of me. I do all right on my own!”
Madeline wanted to argue that point, but kept silent.
“I’ll tell you this, though. I’m still your mother, and I may not be a very good one, but I love you, kid. I want you to be happy. So go be happy! Go be in love! Don’t do what I did—find a good man, settle down, have kids. And stop feeling like you need to take care of me, because you don’t.”
It was the first moment of genuine clarity in her mother that Madeline could remember. She was shocked by it. Her first instinct was to argue, but a second, stronger instinct took hold. How funny was it that in that moment, she thought of Javon Walker. He figured out his talents fit another game better than the one he was playing. Maybe it was time Madeline figured out she didn’t fit in so well taking taking care of a mother who didn’t want her help. If she kept on this path, she might end up like her mother—entirely incapable of maintaining a lasting relationship. The thought made her shudder. Madeline had to change, and her mother was giving her the freedom to do it.
Madeline suddenly smiled. She stood up, kissed her mother. “Thanks, Mom. For the first time in my life, I can say with all sincerity, thank you.”
“About time,” her mother said, and as Madeline started for the door, she shouted, “Don’t forget about that back child support!”
Madeline shut the door behind her, pulled out her cell phone and called Stephen. “Hey,” she said when he answered. “I heard you were selling your SUV.”
THIRTY-FOUR
At first, Luke’s decision to stay in Pine River had caused a huge argument between him and his dad. When he realized he would not win, his father had said angrily, “You’re throwing your life away, just pissing away everything you’ve worked for.”
“Who says success is only in Denver? I’m going to pick up here, Dad. Family is more important to me.”
“Does anyone care what I think?” Leo asked.
“No!” Dad and Luke had both shouted in unison, then looked at each other in surprise and burst into laughter. That was the last time they’d spoken of Luke’s decision to stay in Pine River.