Madeline swallowed.
Stephen stood up. He began to walk away, but he paused and looked back at her. “We’re not going to see each other again, Madeline,” he said. “But I hope you don’t throw away all that you’ve worked to achieve to be in this little town. There’s so much more to life than this.”
“Actually,” she said, holding up a finger, “my life may be in Orlando. But I’ve lived more in the three weeks I’ve been here than I did all twenty-nine years I spent in Florida.”
Stephen rolled his eyes and strode out. Madeline felt bad for him. And sorry that she hadn’t said this to him a long time ago. But she also felt lighter than she had all day.
And now, she had to talk to Luke. Madeline waited until she was sure Stephen was gone, and then she stood, up, too. The waiter looked confused. “Something came up,” she said, and walked out, the keys to the Pontiac in her hand.
She was nervous when she turned on to Elm Street and saw that lights were on. Luke’s Bronco was not in sight, but she could at least tell someone she’d come by. Maybe she could say hi to Leo, try that silly game video again. Madeline parked in front of the house, gripped the enormous steering wheel of the Pontiac and rested her forehead against it.
Her life had not prepared her for these moments, but for once in her damn life, Madeline was determined to tell Luke how she felt. She had to, if only for herself. She had been transformed by her time in the mountains. Part of her had been illuminated, and Madeline didn’t particularly like what she’d seen: a coward. A closed-off, emotionally drained woman who hid behind tasks and schedules and anxiety. But there were other parts, stronger parts, that she did not intend to lose. So she would say what she needed to say, and if Luke didn’t feel the same way, well… she would cross that bridge then.
She made herself open the door of the car. She made herself get out and walk through the gate. She was committed then, and quickened her step, jogging up the two steps to the porch. She opened the screen and knocked loudly, and steeled herself, her chin up when she heard the footfall of someone coming to the door.
As it swung open, Madeline smiled brightly. Until she noticed how puffy Marisol’s eyes were. “Marisol!” she exclaimed. “Are you all right?”
She shook her head. “Leo. He is in the hospital.”
Madeline stopped breathing for a moment. “The hospital?”
“A seizure. A very bad seizure.”
Nausea began to spiral in Madeline. “Where? Here? Is there a hospital in Pine River?”
“No, no, Durango. They all go to Durango.”
Madeline looked wildly about. She had no idea where Durango was. “Is there something I can do to help?” she asked, her mind racing. “I could take them some things if they need them, I have the Pontiac. Tell me what I can do to help.”
“Julie, she takes their things. She’s gone already with their things. You cannot help now. Now, we wait.”
Madeline’s heart sank to her toes. She stepped back from the door. “I am so sorry, Marisol. I hope everything is okay. You don’t know how much I hope everything is okay.”
Marisol nodded, but she was already pulling the door closed.
“I’m so sorry,” Madeline said again, bending to one side as Marisol waved to her around the door and shut it.
Madeline stood there a long moment, staring at the door in something of a daze. Her mind was whirling with fear for Leo, with pain for Luke and his family. And with regret. So much goddamn regret.
She finally turned around and walked back to the Pontiac.
THIRTY-ONE
I didn’t die if that’s what you think.
I gave everyone a good scare, though, because according to Dad, my seizure was worse than normal. I don’t remember a thing about it, except waking up and looking into the big brown Bambi eyes of Tiffany, my favorite nurse. It was sort of like waking up in the middle of a bunch of vestal virgins. Which, I should point out, is not all it’s cracked up to be, according to PBS and their great series on the Romans.
Tiffany totally ruined the fantasy by telling me I had a seizure and that yes, she was married and happily so. Man, give a guy a break! I’m going to demand only single nurses from here on out.