With that thought, he pulled over to the side of the road and switched off the engine. Running a hand through his hair, he came to the conclusion that he wasn’t, in fact, losing it. He had lost it, totally and completely. She was driving him insane. Miss Prim and Proper had him tied up in knots.
He cast his mind back to that night in the lifeboat, when he’d made that vow to go find his fantasy girl. What had he expected? Probably that he’d see her and she’d be nothing like the girl he’d dreamed about, and he could put her behind him…and do what? Go on with his life. Find someone he wanted for more than a few weeks. Because he was quite aware that he’d used his fantasy girl as an excuse to never get close to the real women he dated. They would never measure up to the girl of his dreams.
Everything inside him tensed up at the idea. Abby was right—he didn’t want anything permanent; the idea terrified him. But it didn’t matter anyway—things hadn’t worked out like that. Abby was nothing like the girl he remembered, the girl he’d dreamed about. She was something different, the last type he would expect to go for, yet he couldn’t stop thinking about her.
The truth was, they’d both grown up; his fantasy girl had become his fantasy woman, and he didn’t want to let her go. But at the same time, he couldn’t make himself make that commitment. Not that it mattered because she didn’t want him in her life anyway. Not any more than was necessary under the circumstances. He wasn’t good enough.
Shit. He couldn’t believe that was getting to him. He was rich and successful. He knew a whole load of women who would jump at the chance of sleeping with him. Why did he want the one he couldn’t have? Or was it as simple as that? He was going all Neanderthal; he was in this for the chase, and if he did catch her, then what?
She was the mother of his daughter, that was all. There was an unbreakable bond between them. They needed to find a way to coexist.
He’d stayed away from her as he’d promised. But maybe he should go see her, congratulate her on her new relationship, show he had no hard feelings. He gritted his teeth. Just a fucking hard dick.
He could tell her he hoped this new, suitable relationship helped with her career.
Him, bitter and fucking twisted?
Hell, yeah.
As she came out of the door, Abby stopped short. Logan was leaning against the wall outside, arms folded across his chest. He was dressed quite conservatively in black pants and a black shirt, the sleeves rolled up, probably for his lunch with Jenny. But his hair was loose around his shoulders, giving him an uncivilized appearance, further enhanced by the cold, hard expression on his face.
She so didn’t need this right now. She’d had a long week, and she wanted to go home and lie in a hot, bubbly bath then go to bed.
Who was she kidding?
She wanted to make love with Logan with a desperation that made it clear she was doing the right thing in keeping her distance. Being apart from him hurt. Seeing him now and not being able to touch him was a physical pain.
Should she ignore him? Walk the other way? But there was a dangerous glint in his eye that warned her not to push him.
What was his problem?
She forced herself to walk toward him, coming to a halt a foot away. “Hello.”
She waited for him to reply, but he just watched her silently, his gaze wandering over her, giving nothing away. She shifted from foot to foot then heaved a huge sigh. “What do you want, Logan? Is it something to do with Jenny?”
“Jenny is fine.”
When he offered no more, she gritted her teeth and made an effort to relax. Keep cool and smile. “What then?”
“Actually, we had a very interesting conversation over lunch.”
“You did?”
“We did.”
Christ, he was irritating. What the hell could Jenny have said? She searched her mind but came up blank. “And…?”
He pushed himself up from the wall, shoved his hands in his pockets, and she had to fight the urge to take a step back. “She told me you were seeing someone.”
A frown pulled her brows together. “She did?”
“Jack.”
“Oh.” Why the hell would Jenny tell him that? She’d only had the one date with Jack, and that had been two weeks ago. And exactly how much had her daughter told him.
“I take it he’s suitable?”
He almost sneered the word. She’d really gotten to him, and she was sorry about that, but she never would have dreamed he was the sensitive type. She tried to come up with something diplomatic to say. They were drawing attention, and she wanted him gone. It was the shift change, and a lot of her colleagues were coming and going, casting her glances as they went, making her squirm. She wished she had a little of Logan’s imperviousness. He appeared oblivious to the curious stares. But then, he didn’t give a toss what anyone thought—apart from her. Oh no, she wasn’t allowed to think bad things about him. Just everyone else.