“Deep in his heart, he knows the truth.” Mama laid a hand on her arm, stroked back and forth. “Your grandma and I have been speaking.”
“There is no child, Mama.” They’d both given her expectant looks this past week after she’d heaved up her morning meal each day. “You must cease saying so, or thinking so.”
“I couldnae eat either when I first conceived you and Ethan. Grandma too was the same when she carried her bairns. You also have no’ had your courses since your handfast.”
“Aye, but that means naught.” She laid a hand over her flat belly.
“Then what does it mean, my obstinate daughter?”
“Mama, I am no’ obstinate.” Huffing, she sat up in her breeches and tunic then swayed with dizziness at having moved so fast. Taking a deep breath, she steadied herself. “He does no’ want me anymore.”
“You love him.”
“He left me. Repudiated his vow and ended our handfast. If I’m to have his child, the poor thing will never hold his name, be known only as a bastard.”
“Aye, but the child will still be loved by us all. Never forget that.” Mama waved to Grandma who stood leaning against the doorway. “She still willnae listen to reason.”
“I’m listening perfectly fine.” She thumped the grass. “There is no child.”
“There is, my dear.” Grandma smiled as she sat with a flourish of her kirtle’s maroon skirts. “’Tis clear to see. We also all agree that we cannae allow Duncan to never hear news of the babe you’re carrying, or of its coming birth. ’Twould be wrong, very wrong.”
“I’m no’ allowed anywhere near Duncan, so that makes telling him impossible.”
“Duncan didnae have a choice but to repudiate your vow and leave.” Grandma plucked a yellow flower from the grass and tucked it behind Ella’s ear. “He had to accept what followed, just as we all did.”
“He took my heart and left me with naught but a gaping hole where it should be.” Gently, reverently, she pressed a hand to her belly, her breath stuttering in and out. She longed to have a part of Duncan to hold onto, a child with his beautiful blue eyes and her feisty temperament. Aye, she’d love naught more.
“We could sail for Ardan House this night, all of us, but only under the cover of darkness.” Grandma cupped her cheek. “We’ll ensure we remain disguised so no one can make us out on the water. Then we’ll return again once you’ve imparted your news. There and back in one night. It can be done.”
Just to see him one more time would likely kill her, but Grandma and Mama were right. She was expecting, her courses already two weeks late. One night. She would hate for Duncan to never know about their child, would never keep the knowledge from him as the knowledge of his true birth mother had been kept from him. He was to be a father, and she needed to tell him. With a nod, she murmured, “I want to go.”
“Then we’ll attire ourselves correctly and leave within the hour.” With one hand raised high, Grandma signaled Ethan and Grandpa as they both practiced with the bow and arrow across the other side of the meadow. “We leave for Ardan.”
Ethan and Grandpa strode across and Ethan extended his hand to her and tugged her to her feet. “We’ll be with you every step of the way.”
“Aye, as you always have been.” She hugged him and trekked inside.
In her chamber which she’d shared with Mama this past month, she changed into her darkest clothing to hide her form as best as she could for their trip out on the water. Black breeches donned, she tucked the hem of her black tunic in then bundled her hair under an equally dark woolen cap. With her black cloak on and Mama and Grandma wearing similar dark attire, she walked outside and joined Grandpa and Ethan as the sun lowered on the horizon.
“Are we all ready?” Ethan slung a satchel over his shoulder.
“Aye, as ready as we’ll ever be.” Mama hooked one arm through both hers and Grandma’s and they walked together along the tree-lined trail toward Kinloch harbor.
As the dark fully descended and the moon rose, only a slight curve of golden yellow in the night sky, they cleared the woods and arrived at the entrance to Kyle Rhea. Breathing deep of the fresh sea air, she hopped on board her grandparents’ skiff secured to its mooring. Ethan raised the sail while Grandpa sat at the stern and gripped the rudder. The wind blew and the pine trees rising high on her left swayed, while across the thin kyle on her right, the mainland rose. Ardan House beckoned.