“Thank you.” She popped the meat into her mouth and it near melted on her tongue. ’Twas delicious, yet the taste soon turned to dust as another image of Ronan flittered through her mind. Arms outstretched, he’d been chained to the blackened stone wall of his cell, his body slumped and his hunger and thirst beating at her. It had taken all her willpower not to unlock those cuffs and set him free. How she’d wanted to, desperately. All that had stayed her hand was the knowledge that Muirin needed time with his father. The fae sorceress had deserved the chance to forge the soul bond with her mate and she’d had no desire to take that right from her, not as it had been so cruelly taken from her. ’Twas sacred, a bond all her kin desired. A bond she’d been gifted with, but could never accept.
Such sadness swirled within her heart, made it beat sluggish and slow. Her fingers and toes went all icy and numb. She squeezed her eyes shut and forced the dreaded emotions away. Plodding around the keep all maudlin and sorrowful would never do, not when word would soon spread of her betrothal with Duncan. Her kin needed to see her contentment, and Duncan deserved naught less than her full acceptance of their coming marriage.
“Would you care for some tea, my lady?” One of the maids set a bowl of oats before her.
“Aye, that would be wonderful, with a good spoonful of honey, please.” Smiling at the maid, she curled her hands around the underside of the bowl of oats to warm her fingers.
“I’ll be but a moment.” The maid swished away, her dark hair bundled up under her frilly cap and her apron ties swaying down to her knees.
“What are your plans for the day now you’re about to be a wedded woman?” Gordon shoved a bacon rasher into his mouth.
“I’d like to take a swim.” That would certainly help clear the gloominess from her thoughts and rejuvenate her spirit. They’d left summer behind and autumn had well and truly taken ahold, winter a mere breath away, but she would take this opportunity to set her thoughts in order and a swim always did that.
“You’ll need a guard. I’ll take you to the loch myself.”
“I dinnae mind going on my own. It isnae too far.” She often walked the short distance to the pool without any issue, although with the blood feuds currently raging across the land and more enemy warriors about, such unease consumed them all. From the jug in the center of the dais, she added a dash of milk to her oats and ate a spoonful.
“I’ll come with you. I cannae have Duncan tossing me into the dungeons for no’ ensuring your complete care.”
“Here ye are, my lady.” The maid returned and set a cup of tea before her and she thanked her before she bustled away to serve the men at the closest table below their platform.
“How soon do you wish to go?” More bacon stuffed in his mouth, along with a slurp of his drink.
“As soon as possible, if you dinnae mind.” She finished her meal, bid Gordon to await her by the postern gate and hurried upstairs to collect a few things from her chamber.
Plaid draped over one arm and a bar of soap and a drying cloth stuffed into her satchel, she hiked back downstairs and across the inner courtyard to where Gordon stood at the gate, his chainmail sparkling in the sunlight.
He motioned for her to go first and she skipped past him as the sun rose higher and warmed the earth. Across the open meadow, she tramped then ducked into the forest. She weaved in and around thick bushes before finally emerging at her favorite pool. The loch, small, secluded and surrounded with towering trees, offered a haven of respite and provided her with all she loved most about the Highlands, nature and all its abundance.
“I’ll wait back along the trail to give you your privacy. Holler out if you need any aid and I’ll come.” Gordon vanished within the thickness of the trees, a snare in his hand. He’d hunt while she bathed.
Assured she remained alone, she loosened the front laces of her midnight-blue gown and wriggled the velvet over her hips. It shimmered to the ground and she stepped out of the pool of fabric, kicked her slippers off and curled her toes into the lush grass. With her shift’s skirts brushing her legs, she picked up the bar of soap and stepped around the loch bordered by the odd protruding boulder and bounded up onto the ledge rimming the far edge.
Oh, how she’d adore a swim without any encumbrance, even that of her shift. She rocked from foot to foot. Sunlight streamed through the trees and dappled over the grass dotted with yellow flowers and the odd scrub of heather. Gordon had left and it wasn’t as if anyone else was nearby. She also adored the sensation of the water flowing over her bare skin and once under the darkened surface, none could see below. Grinning, she set the soap down on the stony ledge, whipped her shift over her head, dropped it and dove into the dark depths of the pool.
Chilly water washed over her and she gasped at the icy shock. Oh, how invigorating. She burst to the surface and laughed as the freedom of being so at one with nature rushed through her. This was exactly what she needed to raise her spirits and as the sun rose higher, she dipped and dived within the glorious water before floating on her back. Aye, she’d make the best of what she’d been given, and marrying Duncan would ensure her true heart’s desire, that her parents lived. All that mattered was their survival. Always and forever.