This was what had haunted her dreams for five long years. At the time the memories had caused her to sink into a sadness it was difficult to shake free of. Benet had helped. She would look at him and tell herself whatever heart pain she suffered over Harcourt was worth it for the blessing of her son.
It was several moments before she became aware of the less beautiful parts of lovemaking. A little longer before the stickiness between her legs and sweat drying on her skin became a bit irritating. Just as she was about to try to get out of bed with some semblance of dignity to wash off, Harcourt rose and went to get the bowl of washing water and a couple of rags. She had to smile as they both hurriedly cleaned themselves off, both of them clearly eager to be done with the chore so they could be skin to skin again.
Harcourt put away the bowl and washrag and quickly slipped back into bed. He sprawled on his back and tugged Annys into his arms. A sigh of pure contentment escaped him as her soft skin pressed against his. He took her hand from where it rested on his chest and kissed her palm.
“I was a wee bit worried there that I was going to be as quick as an untried lad and leave ye wanting,” he said.
“Nay, ye werenae. Truth tell, I was beginning to think ye were moving too slowly.”
He laughed. “Then, as always, we were matched in our pace.”
“I often thought of those times we spent together,” she said quietly. “I confess, at times I could almost hate ye for showing me how much was missing from my marriage but then I would remember that I wouldnae have Benet if nay for all that.”
“I often thought of them, too,” he confessed in an equally soft voice. “As I became less of a reckless lad in heart and mind and became the mon I should have been even back then, I was always torn about it.”
“I dinnae think ye were so verra reckless and ken weel how skilled David was at getting people to do what he wanted them to.”
“He did convince me when everything I had e’er been taught by my family should have held firmly against him. But”—he kissed the top of her head—“I was lusting after ye and I think that pushed me to agree when I might have stood on my principles otherwise.”
“I am sorry that David made ye agree to all that but I will ne’er be sorry that ye did.”
“Because there is Benet.”
“Aye, there is Benet. And whate’er else was wrong or hurtful and may still be, without it all happening as it did, there would be no Benet.”
“And that is a gift I wouldnae wish to see lost.”
He stared up at the ceiling and thought on all that stood between them for a moment. Then he decided he was wasting a moment that should be peaceful and quiet, and, just maybe, would work to soothe any of those hurts she spoke of. He idly stroked her arm and wondered when he could make love to her again.
Chapter Thirteen
The pounding on the door made Harcourt curse. He was enjoying the warmth and peace of lying naked with Annys. His body was pleasantly sated and he could savor the feel of her soft curves without the press of a frantic need. He had even been ready to enjoy that pleasure for a second time.
Just as he opened his mouth to order the one banging on the door to leave, a small, soft hand covered his mouth. He looked at Annys and she shook her head. He muttered another curse when she slipped out of bed and began to dress. Knowing there would be no returning to their lovemaking, he got up and started to dress as well. He comforted himself with the knowledge that, now that her resistance had ended, there would be other times they could enjoy.
“M’lady?” Joan called from the other side of the door.
“Just a moment, Joan,” Annys called back.
Annys struggled to bury all sense of embarrassment as she hurried to dress. Not only had Joan made it very clear that she thought Annys should take Harcourt as a lover, she was a widow, a mother, and five and twenty. She had earned the right to do as she pleased. Glancing back at a now-dressed Harcourt who was tidying the rumpled covers on the bed, she nearly blushed. There was no question that she had been pleased, she thought, and then went to let Joan in.
“What is it, Joan?” she asked as the woman stood before her, wringing her hands.
“Biddy has been found,” Joan said.
“Alive?”
Joan shook her head. “Nay, they found her hanging from a tree a few miles from here.”
“I was afraid that was what she would find when she ran. I ken who let her out but I still cannae understand how she found a way out of here. She must have gone to a great deal of trouble to get out without being seen and all she found was death.” Annys shook her head. “Is she being brought in now?”
“Nay, they want Sir Harcourt to come meet with them where she is. Said they want to be certain there is naught there to lead them to that bastard causing all this trouble.” Joan glanced at Harcourt. “If ye move fast there may still be enough light to find something.”