Gillyanne handed Finlay to Ilsa after kissing and cuddling the boy, then did the same to Cearnach before returning him to Gay's arms. Ilsa was a little surprised at how painful she was finding this farewell. She had only known Gillyanne for a fortnight, yet felt a strong bond with the woman. It was not simply because they were married to brothers or the mothers of twins, either.
Ilsa looked around the bailey. Everything was readied for Gillyanne, Connor, and Angus to leave. It pleased her in a strange way to see that Diarmot was as irritated by Nanty's insistence upon staying at Clachthrom as he had been by Sigimor's and Tait's. Her husband plainly resented the implication that either he needed protection or she did.
"Twill be a tough battle ahead for ye," said Gillyanne as she stood next to Ilsa. "I wish I could stay longer."
"I wish ye could, too," said Ilsa, "but nay for that. I am the only one who can fight the battle for Diarmot's trust, the only one who can make him believe in me."
"Ye dinnae fight for his heart, for his love?"
"The trust must come first, especially with Diarmot. Until he feels he can trust me, he will protect his heart as if it was the Holy Grail." She smiled faintly when Gillyanne laughed. "Lady Anabelle left behind a lot of scars."
"Aye, she did. She was vicious, e'en hateful. In truth, despite her whorish ways, I oftimes felt she hated men."
"That makes some sense. After all, e'en the biggest, meanest, strongest men can be made weak by passion, lust, or e'en love. She did make fools of a great many men. She had power of a sort and that can be a heady and corrupting thing."
"Weel, ye have chosen a wise strategy. Just cling to it."
"I intend to, although it isnae easy to just hold fast and nay try to argue my innocence. Dinnae mistake me, I dinnae meekly bow before any slur or accusation he tosses my way. There are times, howbeit, that I fair ache to tie him in a chair and give him a severe talking to, mayhap slapping him upside the head now and again to make my point."
Ilsa smiled when Gillyanne laughed. She suspected the woman knew she was only partly jesting. Dealing with Diarmot's constant wariness was far more tiring and hurtful than she had thought it would be. Now that she was with him again, was his wife by all the laws of church and court, she wanted the man she had fallen in love with back. She wanted that joy she had too briefly enjoyed a year ago to return now. For all her plans and determination, Ilsa found she lacked patience.
She had to continually give herself stern lectures on how good things came to those who waited. They did not help much.
"Twill come," said Gillyanne. "A mon wouldnae work so hard to protect his heart unless he kenned it was in danger." Gillyanne laughed when Diarmot's children gathered around her to say farewell.
Although she tried hard to fight it, hope was stirred by Gillyanne's words.
Ilsa could not deny the truth of them. If Diarmot felt nothing for her beside a man's natural desire for a woman, he would have no need for all his defenses. He would bed her as he pleased and continue on as he had before her arrival at Clachthrom. Instead, he avoided her as much as possible and was obviously on guard whenever she was around.
The children left, rushing off to encircle Fraser. Gillyanne took Cearnach from Gay so that young woman could go and assist Fraser. Ilsa tensed when Diarmot walked up to them for he rarely approached her when the twins were with her. She found his apparent lack of interest in his sons the hardest thing to endure. Even as she decided to take Cearnach from Gillyanne and leave Diarmot and Gilly alone to say farewell, little Gregor fell down and started to cry. The boy was not accepting the comfort of Gay, Fraser, or his siblings, but crying for his mama. At least Diarmot's children accepted her, Ilsa thought as she shoved Finlay into a startled Diarmot's arms and hurried over to Gregor.
Diarmot stared at the small child in his arms. The boy stared right back. The child had a surprisingly thick crop of bright red curls. He also had deep blue eyes. The same color as his own, Diarmot thought, then told himself blue eyes were not so rare. When the child gave him a toothless grin, Diarmot could not stop himself from smiling back and gently tousling the boy's wild curls.
"That is Finlay," said Gillyanne. "He possesses a more cheerful nature than Cearnach here and has a wee scar on his arm to mark him as the first born.
Sigimor has a similar one and says tis a tradition to mark the bairns in such a way. In a family beset by twins twas quickly seen as necessary."
"Ye believe they are mine," Diarmot said even as he found the scar she spoke of on Finlay's small forearm.
"Aye. Ye would ken it too, if ye but looked at them once in a while."