Chapter Nineteen
The gossip surrounding Eden’s breakup doesn’t die down, and by the beginning of March, I’m fed up with hearing about it. At first, I scoured every Korean entertainment blog on the Internet and read all I could about the rumors swirling around the band—with the help of my browser’s translator tool. A lot of sources claim Jason’s the instigator, but others say Yoon Jae wanted to go solo. I don’t know what to believe, and Jason isn’t forthcoming with information, so I’m left wondering.
One thing is for sure, though—Jason and Yoon Jae haven’t gotten along since they met. Unnamed sources from the record label came forward and talked about how the two boys would argue in the studio and refuse to spend time together except at publicity events and concerts. Most of the articles lay the blame on Jason, but one mentions that Yoon Jae didn’t care about being in the band in the first place and he made that clear early on because he wanted to be in a different kind of band, where he could dance instead of play an instrument. I can see how the two would butt heads.
I’d have thought everybody at school would be super interested in the recently deceased band, but our classmates give the boys wide berths. I also suspected Yoon Jae and Tae Hwa would ditch school now that Jason’s no longer keeping them here, but they stay. Sophie says it’s because it’s too late in the year to transfer without huge hassles, but I suspect it has more to do with their label wanting to maintain an image of civility between Jason and the other two.
Sophie still hasn’t forgiven Jason. Every time I try to bring him up in conversation with her, she changes the subject or laughs away my questions. Tae Hwa moved to another dorm, and the only time I see Jason is in class. But, as the weeks pass by, I can see him withdrawing any interest in school. He comes into class just as the bell rings, his clothes and hair disheveled, and he never turns in homework.
When he skips three days of school, in good conscience I have to investigate. But when I ask Sophie about it, she responds, “How would I know what’s going on with him? I’m not talking to him.”
I bite back any criticism, though I wish she realized how petty she’s being. He’s her brother.
Before dinner, I text him. But he doesn’t answer, and as I’m picking at my broccoli, all I can think about is him.
On my way to his dorm, I call, but he doesn’t pick up. Muttering choice words under my breath, I climb the stairs to his floor. I beat on the door. If he’s taking a nap or studying, he can deal. I’ll be honest—I’m worried. I just need to make sure he’s still breathing, still eating. And once I surmise that, I can go back to thinking he’s a terrible person.
I wait a few seconds at the door before knocking again. No answer. I call him again. And then three more times. On the fourth try, he finally answers.
“Grace?” he says, but his voice is muffled by a static of insanely loud noises in the background.
“Where are you?” I press my hand over my other ear to hear him better, heading back down the stairs.
“Grace!” He sounds uncharacteristically excited to hear my voice.
“Umm … are you okay?”
“Of course I’m okay!” he cries. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
I’m officially scared now. “Jason, where are you?”
He laughs, and the phone crackles like one of us is losing service. “I’m at the bar.”
“Which one?”
“Umm…” His voice trails off, and he calls to someone in Korean.
“Jason!”
My heart pounds against the inside of my chest, my mind flipping back to another phone call. One with Nathan. Oh, God, please don’t let this end up like it did with Nathan.
That old anxiety threatens to assert itself, and I struggle to get it back down. I can’t freak out right now. I’ve got to find Jason. I’ve got to help him. Like I couldn’t do with my brother.
“Grace?” he says, like he’s forgotten he’s on the phone with me.
I force my voice to stay level. “Jason, which bar are you at?”
“The Lotus? I think. In Incheon.”
“Okay, well, stay there. I’m going to meet you.”
I hang up before he can respond, then do a Google search for a Lotus bar in Incheon and I scroll through my phone contacts in search of the driver Jason’s management company employs. Once I find both, I call the driver, and after a few minutes of mixed English and Korean, he agrees to pick me up.
I meet the driver out front, and as we head down the highway, I mentally scream at him to go faster. I’m probably overreacting, but my mind keeps going back to Nathan. Where I found him that night. He’d called me, and I brushed it off as a drunk dial. I had no idea it would end the way it did.
I toss up another quick prayer that Jason doesn’t do anything stupid.
We finally reach Incheon, and I jump out of the car on the street the Google map said the bar is on, searching for anything that says “Lotus.” I’ll even content myself with a picture of a flower. I’m afraid the name will be written in Hangul so I won’t ever find it, when I spot a familiar face in the crowd on the street.
He slouches against a crosswalk sign, his head hanging and shoulders slumped. His hair’s hanging in his face, but I recognize the jacket I bought him. People do a double take when they pass him, like they’re not sure if that’s Jason Bae.
“Jason!” Relief floods my body.
He looks up when I rush over to him, and a slow smile brightens his face but doesn’t reach his glazed, bloodshot eyes. When I get close, I can smell alcohol on him, and my heart sinks.
“Hi, Grace.” He takes a step toward me and stumbles.
I catch him, and he chuckles against my shoulder. “You smell good,” he says into the fabric of my shirt.