A wave of unease swelled in his gut. Christ. What was he doing? Since the moment he’d met Jane, he’d been acting on impulse. Having sex with her in an elevator. Agreeing to a fling. Considering threesomes, for God’s sake.
This wasn’t him. He wasn’t that guy. He was thirty-two years old and all he wanted was to settle down, damn it. Find himself a sweet, loving wife, have a couple of kids, build a nice, stable life for himself.
And instead, he’d yet again wound up with a woman he couldn’t have any of that with. Jane was an incredible woman, yes, but she wasn’t going to be the sweet, loving housewife he desired. She was ambitious, determined to win that Pulitzer of hers. And she’d admitted more than once this week, when he’d broached the subject, that she had no desire to have kids any time soon. So what was he supposed to do? Wait around for another fourteen years the way he’d done with Alice?
“Becker?”
Jane’s soft voice brought him back to reality. He realized he hadn’t answered her question. “No,” he confessed. “I didn’t get you out of my system.”
The corner of her mouth lifted. “Pity.”
Ignoring the heavy weight pressing down on his heart, he released an unstable breath and said, “But I think I know how I can.”
Confusion crossed her face. She let out a breath of her own, suddenly wary. “We’re actually still on this topic? I’m leaving in three days, Beck. Let’s just enjoy the time we have left.”
“I…can’t.” He swallowed. “It’s not fair to either one of us, if we continue this…this fling, or whatever the hell we’re calling it now. Three more days won’t make a difference. In the end, I still don’t want a relationship.”
Her blue eyes narrowed. “You’re lying.”
He faltered. “What?”
Slowly, she disentangled herself from his arms and sat up. Her bare breasts heaved with each breath she took. “You do want a relationship. This entire week, you’ve dropped hints about it, about the kind of life you want to have.” Jane’s cheeks turned pink with anger. “The life you described, well, it obviously requires a specific type of woman. In other words, not me.”
He swallowed again, fighting a pang of discomfort. “Jane, I think you’re amazing, you know that.”
Her eyes flashed. “Amazing, but not good enough, right?”
Before he could respond, she flounced off the bed and grabbed her dress off the floor. She threw it over her head without bothering with undergarments, and as she tied her halter back together, she shook her head at him, looking disappointed. “You’re an idiot, Becker.”
His nostrils flared. “Why? Because I want a different sort of relationship this time around? I’ve already been with one career-minded woman who didn’t want to settle down. I can’t do it again.” He locked his gaze to hers. “Tell me, Jane, what kind of relationship do you want?”
Hesitation flickered on her face. Finally she sighed and said, “I want to settle down. One day.”
Becker couldn’t stop the burst of disappointment that went off in his chest. Perpetually honest, that was Jane. Though, even if she’d tried to lie and convince him their life goals were aligned, he would’ve been able to see through her. Jane was very easy to read. Probably because she wasn’t capable of lying.
“So why drag this out?” he asked softly, rising naked from the bed. He found his jeans and pulled them up to his hips, zipping them up. “I like you, Jane.” His features twisted. “I more than like you. Fuck, a few more days and I can see myself half in love with you.”
Her throat bobbed as she gulped. “I know what you mean.”
“That’s why we need to end it now.” His chest constricted the second the words came out. “We want different things out of life. Giving ourselves three more days to get even more attached is a bad idea.”
She didn’t answer for a moment, and when she did, there was a gleam of sadness in her eyes. “You’re right.” She paused. “I’ll just gather up my stuff and head back to my room.”
Becker eliminated the distance between them and gently took hold of her arm before she could move to the door. “Hey, you can’t just hurry off. Can we at least say a proper goodbye?”
Jane gave a faint smile. “You just fucked me in the ass. Can’t that be our goodbye?”
His mouth twitched. Damn, he really would miss her bluntness. He swept his gaze over her, taking in the sight of her tousled red hair, messy and sweat-dampened from the sex they’d just had. The way her blue dress slid over each curve of that petite body. Her full lips, red and bee-stung from their kisses. She’d never looked more beautiful.
“C’mere,” he said gruffly, reaching for her.
Jane hesitated then allowed him to take her into his embrace. He held her tight, inhaling the sweet scent of her shampoo, smiling when her hair tickled the tip of his nose. Then he dipped his head, placing a tender kiss on her mouth. She kissed him back, her tongue darting out for one brief moment to meet his, then retreating.