“Did you love her?” Faith asked.
John didn’t answer that question. “I couldn’t marry her. She came from a bad family. Her father was a drunk and a criminal, her mother the town whore. Not exactly ideal for a pastor’s wife.” He smiled weakly. “But she was beautiful. And smart. And funny.” His eyes raked over Faith as if seeing someone else. “You look just like her.”
Two different worlds, Faith mused, but maybe not so different. “Where is she now?”
John’s face clouded. “She’s dead. She died in a house fire shortly after you were born when her father passed out in bed with a lit cigarette. I didn’t even know about you,” he said quietly, “until the police chief came around with you in his arms. He said I was the next of kin, that I was listed as your father on the birth certificate.”
For several moments, his nearly black eyes glittered with the regret and pain of loss. Faith was very familiar with both. “And?”
“Mary, oh, Mary was livid. Hasn’t let me forget it a single day of my life. But I had to take you in, didn’t I? It was the Christian thing to do, and I was the pastor. God was using me as an example.”
It was all becoming clear; the pieces were finally following into place. Why Faith had gray eyes but her parents and all of her siblings had brown ones. Why the woman she thought was her mother and her father resented her so much. Faith felt like part of her was slowly leaking away; had it not been for Kieran, she might have slid down the pew.
“When you came home pregnant, Mary couldn’t handle it. She said you had to go, that you were just like your mother. I had no choice, Faith. She stood by me all those years, kept my secrets. Gave me five more children - legitimate children not born in sin.”
Whatever self-pity Faith was feeling faded, replaced slowly with anger. “I am your daughter.”
He stiffened, the lines on his face hardening. “I took you in. Put food in your belly and clothes on your back until you went and got yourself pregnant. I did right by you.”
“If that’s what you think parenting is, you’re even more pathetic than I thought. Leaving was the best thing I ever did.”
John didn’t deny it. “I prayed for you.”
Faith laughed, a cold, empty sound that surprised them all. It echoed in the empty church. “Well, then. I guess that makes everything okay. Goodbye, Dad.”
Faith rose and began to walk down the aisle, Kieran protectively at her back. She was nearly at the doors when John stood up. “Faith, wait.”
Faith paused and turned slowly. “You’ve obviously done well for yourself,” John began, and for a moment Faith thought he might be about to tell her that he was proud of her. But those hopes were shot to hell with his next words. “We’ve fallen on hard times here. You have an obligation to your family.”
Nothing could have prepared her for that. She gaped at him, open-mouthed, for several seconds before she finally found her voice. “Don’t worry, Dad,” she said, turning away again. “I’ll pray for you.”
“You okay?” Kieran asked, once they were in the comfortable rental and headed back to the hotel.
“Yeah,” she said, blowing out a breath. It was the first full breath she’d taken all morning. The fresh air, combined with the scent of the man she loved, filled her lungs and burned away some of the residual angst. “I really am.”
“Good,” he said simply, lacing his fingers through hers.
“Yeah.”
“So. What do you think about a New Year’s Eve wedding?”
Chapter Twenty-One
They went out to dinner that night to celebrate - Kieran, Faith, and Matt. They had shared a meal so many times together that it felt quite natural. But there was something new there that wasn’t there before. The invisible bond that tied them together was now a tangible thing. It felt right, as if the last pieces of the puzzle had finally clicked into place.
When they got back to the hotel, Matt surreptitiously excused himself and went to his room to watch some of the premium movie channels (each bedroom had a small television). Faith was about to warn him against trying to watch some of the unrated shows, but Kieran nudged her.
“He’s giving us some time alone,” Kieran breathed into her ear. “I’d say that deserves a little good faith on our part, wouldn’t you?”
Faith blushed and Kieran chuckled when they heard the television in Matt’s room come on loud enough for them to hear what he was watching, but guessed that the excessive volume was more to keep Matt from hearing anything that might be going on outside of his bedroom.
Kieran picked up the ice bucket with the bottle of champagne and two flutes and walked into the bedroom. Faith followed feeling a bit nervous. Was he planning on staying with her again tonight, even though she was no longer ill?