Faith took one look at him and exhaled. She wasn’t happy about it, but she was smart enough to sense that he wasn’t above planting himself on her porch until she agreed to talk to him.
“Would you like some coffee?” she asked resignedly. Her arms were crossed protectively in front of her, something she did when she felt a little uncertain, he’d noticed. He didn’t like seeing her this way, especially not when he was around. He wanted her to feel safe and secure in his presence. The fact that she didn’t bugged him, and made him want to fix it.
At least she wasn’t shutting him out completely. He decided to count that as a small victory.
“I’d love some, thanks.”
He followed her into the kitchen, glancing around as he did so. Over the past week she’d finished painting the living room walls and trim. He had to look twice at the ratty old sofa; it was now covered in a deep green and hazelnut print with cream and chocolate colored throw pillows. A few sketches hung on the wall, charcoals that looked like originals; drafts of the cottage and the grounds as seen through Faith’s eyes. The hardwood floor had been cleaned and polished until it shone, reflecting the soft hues of the small light she’d left on just inside the door. He could only imagine the number of hours she’d put into it; the transformation was stunning.
“The living room looks amazing,” Kieran said sincerely. “When did you have time to do all this?”
Faith shrugged, but she seemed appreciative of the compliment.
The kitchen wasn’t overly large, so Kieran had no trouble staying in close physical proximity to Faith as she prepared a pot of decaf. It helped. He felt better just by being near her. He hoped that he was able to do the same for her on some level, even if she didn’t consciously recognize it.
He watched her closely, studying every nuance of her features as she absently puttered about, gathering her strength. With every passing moment, she became more entrenched in his heart.
“You didn’t need to come all the way out here, you know,” she said, handing him his coffee a few minutes later.
They’d have to agree to disagree on that, because he certainly felt the need to see her, to be with her. There was no way he could have gone back to the Pub knowing what happened and how she’d left. Deep in his chest, his heart ached.
Forcing his hands around the cup so he didn’t pull her into his arms, he shrugged. “You weren’t answering your phone. And I wanted to see you.”
Faith sat down across from him, a serious expression on her face. “Why?”
“Do I need a reason?”
She pinned him with her soft gray eyes. “Yes.”
It wasn’t that he didn’t have an answer; he just didn’t think she was prepared to hear it, and he could sense the walls she’d put up to protect herself. So he went with a partial-truth variation. “You left without saying goodbye.”
Faith blinked back the moisture pooling in her eyes. Kieran had to fight the sudden urge to wrap his arms around her and comfort her.
She offered him an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry, Kieran. I didn’t realize it would bother you so much.”
Slightly mollified, Kieran took a drink from his mug. “They told me what happened.”
It was Faith’s turn to shrug. “It’s okay. Most people wonder, I think. I overreacted.”
“No, you didn’t. If I had been there - ”
“They didn’t realize I was there, Kieran. I shouldn’t have been eavesdropping.” She smiled slightly. “What’s that old saying? ‘Those who eavesdrop hear nothing good of themselves’, or something like that?” She exhaled. “It really is okay, Kieran. It is what it is. You can’t be twenty-eight with a fourteen year old son and not have people wonder.”
She paused, sipping her coffee. “Well?”
“Well what?” he asked.
“Aren’t you going to ask?”
“Ask what?”
“Where’s Matt’s father? Do I even know who he is? Was I raped? Those are the most common questions.”
Kieran’s jaw clenched. “There’s only one question I need to know the answer to. Is there another man in your life? Someone you care about? Are married to? In love with?”
Faith’s eyes widened. “Besides Matt? No, there is no man in my life.”
“Then none of that other shit matters,” he said firmly. “Everything that’s happened has brought you here, to Pine Ridge, and that’s all I care about.”
*
Faith felt a hollow ache deep in her chest. She wanted to believe him. Wanted to believe him so badly it actually hurt. But she’d been down that road once before. She’d fallen in love with a handsome, popular man once, making the mistake of thinking that he’d felt the same way. Some lessons you only had to learn once for them to stick.