This time it was Lia who was shocked. “You’re … that’s what you want too?”
Erica shrugged and looked up. “We’re not talking about me. We’re talking about how to get you back on the horse, so to speak. So, here’s what you’re going to do…”
Cam crossed the compound and headed for the command post. The last thing he wanted to do tonight was sit in his cabin and stew on things he couldn’t change.
Zach was seated at the desk, checking in on the hour with the guys on watch. In the months since the world had gone to shit, they hadn’t decreased their vigilance one bit. As remote as they were, and away from any major cities, they’d been virtually isolated from the chaos in the outside world, but that wasn’t to say they hadn’t had to fight to defend their territory. They had, and they would do it again and again. It gutted him to think of the people they hadn’t been able to help, but that was the first rule of OpSec—keep your mouth shut about what kind of supplies you had, or you’d have nothing left. Curiosity seekers were swiftly encouraged to move along or eat a bullet. It was harsh, but it was necessary. They had women and a child on the ranch to protect? and trying to help the world would mean that none of them would survive. Brutal reality.
When spring had rolled around, they’d heard rumors that the country’s population had been decimated. Starvation, disease, lack of medical care. Those who had survived were the strongest and most resilient. On recon missions, he’d been surprised and downright fucking pleased to see that several of the farms and towns in the vicinity had found ways to survive and even thrive. Crops were already springing up—and not just theirs. It was a whole new world out there, and it would take amazing determination and flexibility to keep it going. The other rumors were more troubling. The government was finally getting its shit together and trying to figure out how to rebuild society. That society sounded a fuck of a lot like a fiefdom of old. They’d heard stories of people being rounded up and taken to work camps and centralized farms—against their will—but on the pretense of being saved. Fucking ironic how the government hadn’t stepped in until after the population had already been culled of the sick and the weak. It certainly hadn’t been an accident.
“You gonna just stand there and stare at the wall or did you come to talk about something?” Zach asked.
Cam jerked his gaze to Zach. “Just thinking about shit.”
Zach leaned back in his chair. “You and me both. Now that the weather is getting nice, we’re getting more curious people checking out the fence line. As much as I want to help, there’s no fucking way I’m putting Ro at risk by bringing some jackass inside the walls.”
Cam nodded in response. It was a dilemma they all struggled with. It had been beaten into them in the Corps that you never left a man behind, and it was their job to protect those who couldn’t protect themselves. Like they had with Lia. But trying to protect them all would mean protection for none.
Lia. Fuck. What was he going to do about her? He wasn’t sure how much longer he could hold back. He’d never wanted a woman more, but he’d also never been so fucking scared that he’d scar her for life if he told her what he wanted from her. Because he wanted everything. Mind, body, and soul.
She had no clue that he already considered her his. He’d made it fucking clear to every man within these walls that she was off limits. And only his best friend seemed to miss the memo.
There was no better person to ask for advice than the man sitting in front of him.
“Before you and Graham worked out shit with Ro, were you ever jealous of him being with her? Worried that he would take her from you, and you’d lose your shot?”
Zach laced his fingers behind his head and leaned back in his chair so it balanced on two legs.
Of course, Zach being Zach, he didn’t just answer the question, he cut to the heart of the matter. “You worried someone is going to snake Lia from you before you man up and make your move? Which, by the way, has taken way too fucking long in my opinion.”
Dropping into the chair situated at the radio counter, Cam rubbed a hand over his face and into his hair. It was getting shaggy again, and it needed a cut. But the torture of sitting through Lia washing it—massaging his head and neck in a way that made it impossible for his dick not to get hard—and then having her fuss over him with shears and clippers was more than he could handle right now. He was barely hanging on to his sanity where that woman was concerned. To have her so close and still not be able to touch her, to take her, was going to wreck him.
“What the fuck am I supposed to do? You didn’t see her that night—chained to a wall like a dog. They fucking broke her, man. How could she ever trust another guy to touch her?”