Lia sank into the comfortable, old couch and laid her hands palm-down on her thighs.
At least she lay one of them down, because Cam also sat, reached out, and laced his fingers through the other hand and pulled it between them.
Lia’s eyes went to his, her brows rising.
“First thing you gotta know, sweetheart, is this is all about you. Nothing goes forward unless you’re on board completely. I know some ideas seem good until you start putting them into practice, so you gotta know that any time you want to call this off, you can.”
The hope and excitement that had been building within Lia fell. “So … you’re already expecting this to fail? Or for me to bail?”
“No,” Travis interrupted. “We’re putting it out there that this only happens if you’re totally comfortable. There’s no point in beating around the bush—you’ve been through hell, and we both know that you’re taking a heck of a leap asking for what you want. Have no doubt that we want to give it to you, but we also want you to know that just because we start this, it doesn’t mean you’re locked in. You can say ‘no’ anytime you want.”
So they were giving her a free pass if she wanted an out. With the panic attacks she’d had every time she’d gotten physically near a man those first few months, that might have been necessary, but not now. Still, this seemed to be important to them to establish, so she would leave it alone.
“Okay. Duly noted. What’s next?” She pointed to her shirt. “You want me to strip?”
Cam squeezed her captive hand. “Slow down, sweetheart. We’re in no hurry. We’ve got all the time we need to ease into this.”
And that’s the problem, Lia thought. She’d been easing into this for months, and had just now finally worked up the courage to ask for what she wanted. If she didn’t make the move, there was no telling how long her courage would last. She refused to let this opportunity pass her by simply because the thread of courage slipped from her fingers.
“I don’t want to take this slow. I’ve been taking things slow since I got here. I’m ready.”
“What if I’m not?” This came from Cam—the man who was always sure of himself and ready for anything.
It hadn’t occurred to her that her readiness didn’t have any bearing on theirs. Was she forcing them into this? Omigod. What if the only reason they’re considering it is out of pity? She thought about Travis’s words. You’ve been through hell. Were they just doing their civic duty by giving the poor, damaged girl what she needed to get herself whole again?
Oh. Hell. No.
Shit. And here was the problem with making the first move. She’d never know if they would’ve ever made one or if she was the only one really feeling this. It wasn’t like there were many other available women within the walls. What if they were just agreeing because she was the only viable option?
Doubts assailed Lia from every angle.
This is a horrible idea.
She stood, bolting from the couch, but her hand was caught fast by the still-seated man.
He tugged her back.
“Lia, what the hell?”
“I … this was a mistake … I’m … I shouldn’t have done this. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have—”
Travis was off his seat and in front of her within seconds.
“Calm down, baby. Let’s just chill. If you’re having second thoughts, we can talk about it.”
“No, not second thoughts. Fifth, sixth, and seventh thoughts. Hell, maybe hundredth thoughts. I didn’t know what I was thinking. That you’d actually be interested. That you’d actually want me. I should never have presumed—”
The grip on her hand tugged her closer, and within moments she was seated on Cam’s lap, his arm curling around her waist to anchor her in place.
“What are you doing?” she demanded. “You said I could go whenever I want. I want—”
“You told us what you wanted, and now you’re getting something in your head that shouldn’t be there. You’re not leaving until we get at least a few things straight—and the first one is, we both want you more than you could ever imagine.” Cam whispered the last words directly into her ear, and the heat of his hand pulsed against her belly.
Travis dropped onto the couch beside Cam and squeezed her other hand. “The one thing that’s absolutely not in doubt in this room is how much we want you.”
“Oh,” the word came out on a breath. “Okay.” Well that was one less thing Lia needed to freak out about. Everything else still loomed large. Like what happened if they went for it and it didn’t work out. Now that she was between them, all the things that could go wrong—and cost her both of them—crashed down.
She struggled to stand, and Cam finally released her and she stumbled to her feet. Travis’s hand on her arm steadied her.
“I—I … maybe I was wrong. Maybe I can’t do this.” God, what a mess.
“Talk to us, baby,” Travis said. “Tell us what’s going through that beautiful head of yours.”