A short silence fell between them. He could see the various emotions in her eyes, the anger, the betrayal, the disappointment… Lord, the disappointment was by far the worst. It sliced into his gut and made his insides churn with guilt. He’d seen that disappointed look on the faces of other women, usually when he told them he wasn’t interested in a serious relationship, but seeing it coming from Sam was too much to bear.
He didn’t want her looking at him like this. He wanted to see the spark back in her sexy blue eyes, the mischief when she devoured his body, the laughter and the joy.
“Why?” she asked between clenched teeth.
He rubbed his forehead, shifting uncomfortably. “I wanted the Diamond. I wanted…to do something with my life. Ever since I retired, I’ve been restless.” He took a breath. “I want to turn the Diamond into a sports bar. I miss the game, Sam. I thought running this place would help keep my mind off the fact that I’m a former baseball star with a busted knee who isn’t doing a goddamn thing with his life.”
“So you’re using my bar as some sort of distraction?”
“I never forced you to sell, Sam. And I never thought you’d leave town once you did sell.”
Her hands curled into tight fists at her side. “Why didn’t you just come to me and make an offer instead of going behind my back?” she asked coolly.
He swallowed. “I couldn’t think of a way to bring it up without upsetting you. I know how much you love the bar, and I…I knew you wouldn’t part with it easily, or willingly. And I knew you’d end up resenting me if I tried to take it from you.”
“But you did take it from me.”
“I know.” He let out a frustrated groan. “I’m a selfish bastard, okay? I needed…something…in my life and I thought the bar could be that something, you know?”
Another silence descended, this one sharp with bitterness. “You slept with me knowing you’d taken the Diamond away from me,” she finally said, her tone accusatory.
“I know. I’m sorry.” His voice was quiet, remorseful, but he could see the remorse did nothing to soothe Sam’s growing fury.
“All those times I moaned to you about my mess of a life…” She shook her head angrily. “I told you how much it hurt for me to lose everything I’ve worked so hard for, the Diamond, my apartment, and you pretended to give a damn about me.”
“I wasn’t pretending,” he protested.
“Then you didn’t take advantage of my problems to suit yourself?”
“Sam—”
“I thought we were friends.”
“We were. We are,” he said desperately.
And even as he said the words, he knew he was lying. They weren’t just friends. These past two years, they’d built a foundation, a strong friendship, but the moment they’d slept together, it had become so much more. They belonged together. No other woman had ever turned him on the way Sam did. She made him laugh, she excited him, challenged him.
And he loved her. Goddammit, he loved her.
And instead of showing her how much he cared, he’d shied away from a relationship with her, taken advantage of her financial situation, and pretty much forced her to leave town.
He knew she’d been struggling to keep the Diamond afloat long before this mess, but if the bank had given her more time to pay the loan, she might’ve been able to salvage the bar. He should have given her a chance to try to turn things around. Or, in the very least, talked to her about his intentions before buying the place.
“You know, everyone says how arrogant and selfish you are,” she suddenly burst out. “But I always saw another side to you. I always thought that deep down you were a decent guy.”
That hurt. So badly his heart squeezed and withered in his chest.
“I admit, I can be an asshole,” he said quietly. “I can be cocky and demanding, and I’ve definitely had my selfish moments. But I didn’t buy the Diamond out of spite, or because I wanted to fuck you over. I only wanted to have a purpose in life again, something to put my energy into.”
“I get that. I really do.” Her voice softened. “What I can’t fathom is how you could go to bed with me without telling me the truth.”
His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed. “My desire for you may have clouded my judgment.”
“So you figured getting laid was more important than being honest with a friend?” She scowled in disgust. “These past two days, I thought maybe you were capable of caring about someone other than yourself. Obviously I was wrong.”
“That’s not fair.” He moved closer and touched her cheek. She tried to shrug his hand away, but he kept it there, tracing the seams of her lips with his thumb. “I am capable of caring for someone other than myself. I care about you.”
“You sure have an interesting way of showing it.”