That was the strange sensation that completely muddled her mind whenever she was around him! It was maddening, it was… delightful. But Cross? Of all people—rather, of all gentlemen—Cross was the one to create such a powerful lure.
But hadn't she felt attraction before? For pity sakes, she had been betrothed not a fortnight ago! Of course, that was obsolete now, but surely she had felt attraction for Trighton.
Yet, with Cross it was different.
It was more, it was deeper, stronger, more mysterious and tempting.
It was… Desire.
Essie glanced to the wooden floor, not seeing it, rather reliving the memory of her interlude with Cross, just before she saw Trighton. Had Cross been about to kiss her? Would she have let him?
She grinned shyly to herself. Yes. She would have and enjoyed every second. Trighton had kissed her cheek, even dared a quick kiss to her lips, but she had felt a pang of disappointment. Wasn't there something more? Where was the swirling ecstasy of falling in love, the powerful attraction and passion that tempted ladies to risk ruin to find fulfillment in a forbidden way?
Her lips bent as a smile teased them, she was certain that Cross would provoke those sensations.
For pity sakes, when she was waltzing with him she was practically breathless. What would it be like to kiss him?
She wasn't sure.
But she was sure about needing to find out.
She still was uncertain if Cross' actions were in earnest attraction or the valiant effort of a friend. But with their current agreement, perhaps she could somehow get him to kiss her.
Or maybe she'd simply kiss him.
Grinning, she giggled as a plan began to form in her mind.
Another plan. Only this one was beginning to be far more brilliant than her first.
"Anna?" Cross tugged distractedly at his cravat as he scanned the drawing room for his sister. Anna's gloved hand waved from above the back of a couch facing the opposite direction.
"Here," she mumbled distractedly.
Cross frowned and strode over to the couch and looked over the back. "Mother would have your hide if she saw you in such an unladylike manner," he scolded, but without heat.
"Which is why I'm here, not somewhere conspicuous. This is a very good book, you know. I do not wish to be disturbed." She glanced up from her lounging position and raised a dark eyebrow.
"Far be it for me to interrupt…" Cross tilted his head to read the title from the spine of the book. "Miss Laken's final mystery." He gave her a wry expression.
"This is utterly captivating and I'll not have you slander it. What in heaven's name do you need anyway?" Anna huffed and sat up, glaring at him impatiently.
"I was wondering, that is, I was curious as to if Essie mentioned why she wished to meet with us." He rolled his shoulders slightly, trying to distract himself from appearing too interested in his sister's answer.
"Hmm, no. All her missive said was that she wished to meet at two p.m." Anna shrugged and glanced back to her book.
Cross furrowed his brow.
"Oh! And she didn't wish to meet with us, it was you, I think, that she wished to see. She sent the missive to me because, well, she couldn't very well send a missive to you. That would be scandal for sure, so she asked me to pass it along. Sorry, I must have forgotten to mention that." Anna smiled and returned to her book.
"She wanted to meet with me? Alone?"
"Yes." Anna dragged out the word, eyeing him curiously.
"And she didn't say why?"
"I believe I mentioned that." Anna regarded him shrewdly, studying him.
Cross glanced away under her scrutiny.
"Cross…"Anna's tone was curious; curious and contemplative. As if she were slowly putting a puzzle together and finally gaining an insight to the full picture.
Damn it all.
"Yes?" Cross cleared his throat and gave his sister a direct gaze.
"There's… I mean… you don't actually…" Anna started, her eyes burning through him, trying to lift the truth from his mind.
"Me? You mean…" Cross pointed to himself, chuckling.
The sound was decidedly unconvincing.
"Heavens!" Anna gasped. Standing from the couch. She proceeded to walk around to face her brother.
Bloody hell.
"How long have you been in love with her?" Anna asked, her voice far louder than Cross was comfortable.
"I have no idea what you're talking about." Cross turned and strode toward the fire.
"Cross… I honestly… I had no idea." Anna's tone was softer, almost pitying.
Brilliant. Just what he wanted. Pity.
"It's nothing you should concern yourself over," Cross heard himself say, his tone resolute.
"Cross…" Anna's voice was closer and he heard the tell-tale whisper of her muslin day dress just before she placed her hand on his shoulder. "I… I can't believe I didn't see it."
"I didn't want you to see it."
"Why?"
"Why? Honestly?" Cross gave a humorless laugh as he turned to face his sister. "Because when, in all of our friendship with Essie, has she ever given you or I the slightest indication that she felt anything for me other than friendship?"