A bomb went off in his head somewhere, and he was only vaguely aware of the shrapnel raining down within his mind, shredding what little was left of his sanity. Surely he’d heard wrong. “What?”
“You heard me. This is not working, and I can’t do this anymore. It’s not fair to either one of us.”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
Lexi opened the door and stepped into his body, pressing her breasts against his hard chest, weaving her hands up around the back of his neck, tangling her fingers in his hair. For a moment, for one glorious moment, his hands went around her waist and onto her butt, his hips grinding against hers. Then his eyes snapped open, his hands gripped her shoulders and pushed her back about six inches.
Lexi let her hands drop, and Ian realized that he had done exactly what she had expected him to.
“That’s what I’m talking about.” She stepped back, twisting away from his hands. “We’ll have to work out something.”
“Damn straight.” Working something out together sounded good to him, because he wasn’t doing so well on his own.
“I’ll take nights, you take days.”
“What?”
“With Patrick. Assuming you want to. You do want to spend time with your son, don’t you?”
“What kind of a question is that? Of course I do.”
“Good. You can have him during the day, which will work out quite well, actually, because I need to start working again.”
“You’re not going back to work.”
“Fuck. You. I’m not asking. I’ll work mornings and afternoons, then we’ll switch. You’re planning on heading back to Pine Ridge, right?”
Ian couldn’t answer; he could only stare at her, stunned. Where the hell was all this coming from?
She didn’t wait for him to respond. “Look, I know your life is there. I get that. And I would never keep you from Patrick, so this is the only way I can see making it work,” she continued. “You have your place at the Pub, you work nights. I’ll get a job at Francesco’s and live in my grandmother’s house. Assuming Uncle Jack didn’t sell it, that is.”
“He didn’t.” Ian’s lips thinned. No, his father hadn’t sold it. He’d given it to Ian, and Ian lived there now. So it was all good. “You’ll live with me, where I can take care of you. Both of you.”
“At the risk of repeating myself - fuck you.”
Ian growled, the sound originating from somewhere around his navel and building as it rose up through his chest. His muscles strained with tension, his jaw clenched, and he went utterly, unnaturally still.
“Once we’re married –“
Lexi’s eyes widened. “Wake up, Ian. I am not marrying you.”
Another bomb went off, this time in his chest. “Of course you are. Patrick - ”
“- is our son,” she completed for him. “And he deserves the love and attention of both of his parents, and he’ll have that.”
“You’re right about that. And you will marry me.” Ian thought about the ring that he still carried in his pocket, just as he had every day since he bought it. Damn it, he hadn’t wanted it to come out this way, but there really was no choice here. There never had been any doubt in his mind, not since she first fell asleep on his arm on that God-forsaken bus.
“No, Ian, I won’t.”
“You need me.” Please, God, let that be true, he prayed. He needed it to be true, because he couldn’t live without her.
Lexi softened her tone, as Ian had softened his. “Patrick needs his father.”
“And what about you, Lex? What do you need?”
Her arms wrapped around her mid-section as if she was trying to hold herself together. She bit her lip while he held his breath, wanting to hear her answer and dreading it at the same time. When she spoke, her voice was barely more than a whisper. “I need a man who will love me the same way that I love him – with every last piece of my heart, my mind, and my soul.”
Relief flooded his chest. “Lex, I do love you like that. I swear to God – “
She held up her hand to stop him from saying anything further, the look in her eyes so pained he felt it acutely in his chest. “No, Ian, you don’t. Because there is nothing in this world or any other that could ever keep me out of your arms or your bed as long as you wanted me there.”
Ian felt like an eighteen-wheeler had just hit him head-on. “You think I don’t want you? Jesus Christ, Lexi, it’s killing me not to wrap myself around you and bury myself deep inside you till you don’t know anything but me.”
“Then why don’t you?” she asked, her voice rising. “Do you have any idea how hard it is to have you shrink away at my slightest touch? To lie awake all night, thinking of nothing but being in your arms, and hearing you pacing in the next room because you can’t stand to be near me? To know that every time you look at me, all you can see is the ugliness inside of me?” Tears fell freely over her cheeks. “Is that how you love me, Ian?”
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