First and Only (Callaghan Brothers #2)

Had Ian felt the same, it would have been a match made in and blessed by Heaven itself. Two people so desperately in love could be nothing less, the stuff of ageless legends.

Lexi had been drawn to Ian from the very first time she’d seen him. Over time, she began to realize that what she was feeling was not an infatuation, not a silly crush. It was so much stronger, so much deeper than anything she’d ever felt before. So much so that she had never been able to give herself to another. The only man she had ever wanted, ever needed, was seducing her with his voice, his touch, his very presence. And therein lay the problem.

Unbidden, Kayla’s voice echoed in her head. But then again, I got what you really wanted, didn’t I? See princess? He still wants me.

Visions began slamming into her, one after the other as Kayla’s words repeated over and over in a vicious loop: Ian beside Kayla in front of the casket. By her side in the church. At the cemetery. Kayla’s arms wrapped around him as he practically carried her out of the wake.

In each one, Ian was exactly where a man should be for a woman he cared about at a time like that.

None of the others had been so supportive.

Only Ian.

And that entire day, Ian had said not one word to her. He had gone out of his way to avoid her, in fact.

Oh, she’d seen him glancing over at her occasionally. Surely it had been quite a shock when he realized who she was. She couldn’t blame him for being angry, for pretending not to know her under the circumstances. It was a sleazy move on her part, and she sure as hell would have been upset had their places been reversed. But that didn’t explain why he was here now, running the pads of his sinfully skilled fingers up and down her arms and giving her chills while a fire burned inside her.

The way he touched her, with so much tenderness and passion, had her doubting herself. Had he not been at Kayla’s side all that day, Lexi might actually believe Ian felt something for her. But he had been. She had seen it herself. Even Kieran had confirmed that they were still together when she’d asked. And ten years was a long time. There were plenty of marriages that didn’t last that long.

But God, she loved him so much it hurt. Ian wanted her - that much she could tell easily from the shaft of pure steel pressing into her back. But was it enough? Could she be his secret mistress, the one he came to under cloak of darkness to fulfill her fantasies, only to have him leave again in the morning to return to another? A crushing band tightened around her chest making it difficult to breathe, because part of her screamed Yes!

Yet another part of her, the part that had taken her to Benton and saw her through her day to day existence, simply said, No. Not in the desperate, clawing voice of the other, but calmly, objectively.

And she knew which voice she should be listening to.

“Is that how you are with Kayla then?” Somehow the words made it past the closure in her throat, even as her heart reached up to pull them back down.

Ian’s hands stilled. She felt him tense, felt the power accumulating around him, like an encroaching darkness.

“No.” The word was clipped. Sharp. Like a falling axe.

She moved out of his arms, and it was one of the hardest things she had ever done.

Ian ran his hand through his hair, leaving some parts sticking out at odd angles. The look on his face was pained. “Lexi, you need to understand –“

She broke him off immediately. “Don’t worry, Ian. I won’t tell on you.” Her voice was strangely hollow and removed, speaking from her mind and not from her heart. It sounded as wrong as it felt.

“Though it is strangely tempting. I imagine it would drive Kayla over the edge to know that you slept with me, of all people.”

His pained expression gave way to disbelief. “Is that why you ...?” he began, shaking his head. “Revenge? You thought you’d hurt her, like she hurt you?”

“Of course not,” she snapped, insulted that he would even think her capable of such a thing. “How could I possibly know you two would still be together after ten years?”

Ian winced. Lexi hated saying anything that hurt him, but sometimes the truth was painful. She tried to soften the blow a little. “What happened between us had absolutely nothing to do with her.”

“And what exactly happened between us, Lexi?” he asked quietly. “Please,” he coaxed. “Explain it to me.”

Everything drained out of her then. All of the fight, all of the anger, leaving nothing but a soul-deep ache in its place. What was she fighting for anyway? She was in town for what, a few days? Kayla lived here, and had both a past and a present with Ian. How could she hope to compete with that?

“Fulfillment of a young, foolish girl’s fantasy,” she said, suddenly sounding very weary as she sat down on the edge of the bed. “I’m sorry, Ian. I should have told you who I was before...” The words trailed off, unnecessary.