Apparently coming back home was affecting her good judgment, beginning with her first night. She’d given up her body to a man who didn’t even know who she was in a desperate, this-is-a-once-in-a-lifetime opportunity moment. And not just once. Heaven help her, just thinking of all the things she had done to him – that she let him do to her - that night had her body temperature rising several degrees, her skin tingling all over, and a little twinge of residual soreness reminding her of just how innocent she’d been.
The hell with good judgment. She couldn’t – wouldn’t – regret their time together. No matter what. Ian had been magnificent. At once tender and fierce. Maybe it was just her imagination, but she would swear it had been so much more than sex, even for him. For one glorious night she had felt ... loved, treasured.
She gave herself a mental shake. Don’t go there, don’t even think about it.
But this fell on the opposite end of the poor judgment spectrum. This wasn’t filling her with the same warm and fuzzy. Instead, cold dread slithered through her belly, instantly quelling all the good feelings that memories of her time with Ian had brought forth. Now she had effectively drawn a line in the sand with her stepmother over a house she didn’t want in a place she didn’t want to be. What the hell was wrong with her?
Her life was in Benton now. Her stable, lucrative, uncomplicated life with a definite schedule. Wake up at five. Have a light breakfast. Exercise in her building’s exclusive fitness center – an hour in the pool, a few light weights. Shower and dress. Walk to the restaurant. Lunch with Aidan. Then work till ten or so. Walk home, shadowed by the escort Aidan always dispatched but didn’t think she knew about. Another shower. Read a few chapters. Go to sleep and dream about Ian.
Boring, maybe. But it worked for her. She was successful and content. She had a job she loved and the opportunity to help others. The Benton County Shelter had become her second home on Sundays, when Aidan physically banned her from entering the restaurant. Her life was simple, and she liked that. No complicated relationships.
Another bonus? Nobody there wanted her head on a platter, at least not that she knew of. Why complicate things?
Pine Ridge might be where she started, but there was nothing here for her anymore.
At least that’s what she tried to tell herself, but even she felt the lie. There was plenty here. History. Friendship. Support. Incredibly hot burning passion.
Inexorably mixed in were hatred, pettiness, jealousy, and, she was pretty sure, the certainty of a broken heart. She’d already had enough of all that to last her a lifetime. No, to live here would take more strength, more courage than she had. There would be too much drama, throwing her already-fragile, chemically-balanced life into a total mess.
Lexi didn’t need a steak dinner. She needed a good stiff drink. Several of them, in fact. The fact that she didn’t drink was completely irrelevant.
With that in mind, she gratefully accepted the finely-aged Irish whiskey Jack poured for her in celebration when they returned to the Pub. She sat quietly, letting the alcohol slide down the back of her throat like silken fire, as Jack regaled Jake, his wife Taryn, and Ian – the only ones in the Pub at that hour - with a condensed version of what had occurred. Jake looked almost as proud as Jack did, and Taryn seemed genuinely excited. Lexi had met her at the funeral and had instantly taken to the woman. Had she remained in Pine Ridge, she felt sure she and Taryn would have been good friends.
But Ian’s face was unreadable. She could feel his devastating blue eyes on her, as if he was trying to work out a particularly difficult puzzle. This morning’s brief encounter had left the waters murky at best. She didn’t have a clue what he was thinking, and that was tying her up in knots even more.
Was he angry with her for not telling him who she was and why she was in town? Maybe. The “Hell, no” she got in response to her earlier question had stung quite a bit more than she’d cared to admit, but she’d deserved it. She was playing a dangerous game with a man way out of her league. What did she expect?
Well, if he was angry, he was hiding it pretty well. Everything about him suggested intensity, but not necessarily umbrage. Then again, he wasn’t exactly fist-pumping at the idea of having her around any longer than necessary.
Of course he’s not happy about it, she told herself as she lifted the glass to her lips, acutely aware of Ian’s penetrating gaze and completely unaware that Jake had refilled her glass. Twice. He doesn’t want you sticking around. You were supposed to be a one-time thing, remember? Not to mention the fact that – oh yeah – he’s got a long time thing with Kayla.
That last thought had pain shooting through her stomach – or was that the shot she just chugged? – causing her to wince. Ian’s watchful gaze narrowed.
Oh yeah. She could understand why he would not be quite as pleased as the rest of them. Still, it hurt. Somewhere - way deep down - some tiny little part of her still held out hope that he might actually want her to stay, even if it was completely out of the question.
Chapter Ten
First and Only (Callaghan Brothers #2)
Abbie Zanders's books
- Bottom Line (Callaghan Brothers #8)
- Having Faith (Callaghan Brothers #7)
- Seeking Vengeance (Callaghan Brothers #4)
- Forever Mine: Callaghan Brothers, Book 9
- Guardian Angel (Callaghan Brothers #5)
- House Calls (Callaghan Brothers #3)
- Beyond Affection (Callaghan Brothers #6)
- Dangerous Secrets (Callaghan Brothers #1)