He gently sat me back down. “What is all this?” He pointed to the monitors attached to my stomach. “Is the baby okay?”
“She’s fine. When I was talking to the police, I started having contractions.”
His eyes widened.
“It was just stress,” I quickly clarified. “I haven’t had any more since they hooked me up to the monitors.”
“Thank God,” he exhaled, resting his hand on the curve of my stomach.
“How’s Flint? Did they tell you anything?”
He swallowed hard, and instead of speaking, he only signed back. He’s in surgery.
I nodded sadly, and he lifted my hand to kiss the palm. I sat there for several minutes just staring into space. I was in Till’s arms, but my body remained stiff.
“Eliza, the police and Alex filled me in on what went down at the hotel, but do you want to talk about it?”
I shook my head and nervously toyed with his fingers. I fought really fucking hard to hide what was really going through my head. It was wrong, and I felt extremely guilty for even thinking it. However, that didn’t stop me from feeling it. And as tears leaked from my eyes, I knew I wouldn’t be able to keep it hidden from Till.
“It’s just . . . I’m so fucking mad at him right now.” I paused to collect myself but failed. “He’s so goddamn stupid. Why the hell didn’t he go to the police instead of storming in and trying to take care of it himself?” My chest ached as the memories filled my mind. “He shouldn’t have been there at all. It’s so messed up, but I want him to get out of surgery so I can . . . kick him or something.”
Till coughed a laugh that was dripping with emotions. “I’m pissed too. But he took a bullet for my wife and daughter. I’m gonna have to figure out a way to get over it.”
I couldn’t let it go though. I would have done anything for those boys, and apparently, he felt the same.
“I met your dad,” I said as I tried my damnedest to stop envisioning Flint when he rushed through that hotel door.
“I heard.” Till snapped.
“How the hell does he know sign language?”
“I have no fucking idea. But if I ever find that motherfucker, he won’t be alive long enough for me to ask.” He looked down and kissed my forehead.
We quietly sat there for a few minutes, lost in our own thoughts, but mine were just a never-ending replay of the day. My anxiety climbed with the vision of a gun being smashed into Quarry’s face, then Flint— Till interrupted my spiral downward. “You’re shaking. Talk to me.”
I couldn’t stop the words as they flew from my mouth. “It was terrible, Till. I’ll never be able to forget the way Flint’s body jumped when the bullet hit him. Even as he fell on top of me, he was thinking enough to catch himself with an arm so he didn’t land on my stomach. He has to be okay. We can’t lose him.”
Till was chewing on his bottom lip, and I knew for certain he didn’t need to hear any of it, but I also knew for certain that it would engulf me if I didn’t talk to someone so I selfishly kept going.
“Oh, God. I really thought he was dead. Then he woke up when the paramedics got there, but he just kept repeating my name.” I dropped my chin to my chest and tried to rid myself of the memories that would haunt me forever.
“Shhh. I’ve got you. He’s okay. We’re all okay,” Till choked out before pulling me into a hug.
I couldn’t see him, but it was okay. Talking wasn’t helping the ache in my chest that was threatening to devour me.
He eventually wedged his massive body onto the bed beside me and let me cry into his chest until I fell asleep. I loved Till Page, but not even his arms brought me comfort that night.
“I’m sorry,” the surgeon said, pulling off his hat. “I don’t have any answers.”
Slate translated beside the doctor. Eliza was sobbing in the bed, and I blindly reached down to hold her hand.
“You . . .” I paused as my legs started to shake. “You’re a doctor. How can you not know?” I swallowed hard.
“Spinal injuries are difficult to predict. It’s case by case, really. We’re going to do everything we can, but there is a good chance that he may never walk again.”
I choked on a shocked breath. Quarry bolted from the room, Erica hot on his heels.
“We’ll just have to wait and see. Give him some time to recover and let his body heal.”
I watched Slate’s hands, but when I made it to his eyes, they mirrored the devastation in my own.
“No. That’s not a good enough answer. Fix him.” It was worthless. I knew there was nothing the doctor could do, but that didn’t prevent me from taking an angry step forward and demanding again, “Fucking fix him.”
Slate stepped in front of me, but I didn’t explode like I was sure he was expecting me to. I was exhausted. So instead, I backed up and sat down on the edge of Eliza’s bed. She wrapped her arms around my neck from the side, and I looked up to Slate.
“I’m so sick of fighting.”