“No. You. Don’t!” She punctuated every single silent syllable. “You may not have chosen to lose your hearing, but you chose to be deaf.”
“Excuse me?”
She narrowed her eyes, but it wasn’t in the playful way that usually instigated one of our staring matches. It was actually a little frightening. Her hands started moving rapidly, but her lips didn’t accompany it. My sign language was usually only good enough to give me context clues on what their lips were saying. Without them both, though, I was worthless.
“I have no idea what you’re trying to sign.”
“That’s because you refuse to learn!” she screamed as she signed. Her face turned red from the exertion, but it hit my ears. It was probably only a single note of her voice, but I heard it.
It was both painful and invigorating.
I sucked in a breath, and a real, honest-to-God smile formed on my mouth for the first in months.
“And now you’re smiling. Fantastic.” She threw her hands up in the air and headed for the door.
“I miss your voice. I miss listening to you talk while I figure things out. Hell, I even miss Justin Timberlake right now, because that terrible CD was like the Eliza Reynolds soundtrack. I’d give anything to hear it right now.”
She turned around to face me with tears sparkling in her eyes. “Well, you know what? I just miss you.”
“Doodle, I . . .”
“This is temporary, Till. And it sucks really fucking bad, but this was a decision you made. I understand why you chose this life, and I support you completely. But I can’t live with this miserable man you’ve become for the next ten years. Give me back my man. I’ll even take the boy if that’s all you have to give. But damn it, I’m struggling too and I really need Till right now.” Her chin quivered and it broke me.
“I’ll do better.” I signed awkwardly, walking toward her. “I’ll do better, I swear.” I looped my arms around her waist and pulled her against my chest. I didn’t know if she spoke any more, but her words played in my head.
She needed me, and I had been too wrapped up in my own shit to realize she was struggling too. It was time to man the fuck up. I couldn’t do it for myself, but I damn sure could do it for Eliza.
“HOLY SHIT!” TILL JUMPED OFF the couch and was quickly followed by Flint and Quarry.
“Three . . . Four . . .” Flint counted, creeping closer to the TV.
“It’s over! It’s over!” Quarry screamed at the top of his lungs.
“Oh my God.” I covered my mouth.
“You knocked out the heavyweight champion of the world!” Flint signed excitedly then shoved Till’s chest. He laughed wildly as he fell down onto the cushions.
“I can’t believe that fucker actually won.”
“Won? I can’t believe someone gave his ass a title shot,” Flint replied.
“Are you kidding me? He’s The Brick Wall! He’s never been knocked out! What choice did they have?” I said sarcastically.
Rick “The Brick Wall” Matthews had just won the title belt. He was the same Brick Wall Till had knocked on his ass during his first and only amateur fight. The same Brick Wall who had quickly been making his way up the ladder. His arrogance about having never been knocked out and his ability to back it up made him a fan favorite and enabled him to skip a few of the rungs Till was still navigating.
“I cannot believe he has the fucking title now,” Till signed as he spoke.
My stomach twisted as I waited for the fallout from watching someone so obviously lap him, but it never came.
Over the course of four months, my Till had come back. He had thrown himself into learning sign language, and even our sex life had returned to somewhat normal. Without words in the dark, Till was forced to read my body language—now that was something he excelled at. Things would never go back to the way they were before Till lost his hearing, but we were all busy forging a new path with the life we had been handed. Sometimes it sucked, but, as a family, we never focused on that for too long.
“Hey Flint, you still meeting up with Tiffany?” Till asked when I flipped off the television.
“Nah. Her curfew’s eleven. By the time I got over there, I’d just have to turn around and come home.”
“Quickie?” Till waggled his eyebrows teasingly.
“Till!” I smacked his chest.
“Don’t Till me. When we were his age, I’d already had you!” He laughed.
“Oh sweet Jesus.” I closed my eyes, shaking my head.
“He’s a man, Eliza.” Quarry interjected. “Men have quickies.”
“I’m gonna puke.” I stood up and walked to the kitchen, but Quarry continued.
“Sex is a natural part of life. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about.”
I curled my lip in disgust and pleaded with Till. “Make him stop talking about sex.”
“No way. I happen to agree with Q. Besides, you didn’t seem to be embarrassed in the shower this morning.”
My eyes bulged as I glared at him. Flint shook his head, but they all burst out laughing.