“I want to show you something. Can you promise not to run?”
I couldn’t promise that at all. Running was what I did. Still, I said, “Yeah. Okay.” I wiped away the single tear that had somehow managed to escape. Attempting to hide my eyes, I bent over to pick up his crutch. As I straightened, offering it to him, he took my mouth instead.
Tipping my head back, he whispered a dozen apologies against my lips, sealing each one with a gentle kiss. His mouth never opened the way I wanted it to, nor did his tongue find mine. To be honest, I wasn’t positive what he was apologizing for, but I accepted them all the same.
How could I not?
They were his.
After a final chaste kiss, he led me out to the stone patio of his small backyard. Looking down at the precisely manicured grass and elegant, wooden privacy fence, I felt no better.
He must have followed my eyes, because he whispered, “The grass was like this when I bought the place. I put the fence up though. The neighbors are nosy as hell.”
“Right.” I swallowed hard.
He nodded toward the small fenced-off area on the side of his house. “This way.”
“Oh my God,” I gasped, covering my mouth. “It’s beautiful.”
He barked out a laugh. “I’m not sure about that.”
He was right—it was more than beautiful.
Thick weeds covered the ground of the eight-by-eight area. I could tell they weren’t wild or unkempt because they had been trimmed to an even length that didn’t even meet my ankles, but I couldn’t have cared less that they were perfect weeds.
They were still weeds.
I hurriedly slid my shoes off and headed into them. The dirt clung to my feet as I paced a pattern. While I looked for the right spot to lie down, Flint decided to tell me a story.
“For the first month after you left, I spent a lot of time in that patch at the old apartment. Then, as months passed, I got really pissed and just wanted to forget you’d ever existed. So I ripped them out of the ground.”
I stopped pacing as I watched him use his crutches to lower himself to the ground.
“Of course, they grew back.” He laughed, patting the dirt next to him, asking me to join him—an offer I couldn’t refuse. He continued as I settled at his side. “So then I sprayed them with weed killer.” He tossed an arm around my shoulders and reclined back, dragging me with him and then manhandling me into that position on his chest that I remembered he loved so much. “Seriously, weeds are resilient. No matter what the hell I did, I couldn’t get rid of them. Eventually, I gave up and went back to spending my nights there. So when I moved a few months ago, I took the only thing I had left of you with me. Some of them died in the move, but for the most part, they’ve done pretty well.” He ran his hands through the green bristle.
“Wait. These are the weeds from your apartment?”
“Some of them. I had to add a bunch.” He looked down, catching my gaze. “You should have seen the faces at the lawn and garden center when I walked in asking to buy weeds.” A hearty chuckle rumbled in his chest, warming me.
For several minutes, no words were spoken but Flint repeatedly kissed the top of my head and stroked his fingertips up and down my arm. I was in heaven as the world momentarily disappeared.
He finally broke the silence. “I was in love with you too.”
Past tense.
I rolled away, remembering all too quickly why I hated that position on his chest.
I DIDN’T TRY TO STOP her as she settled on her back a few inches away. I fucking hated the distance she’d always put between us, but I needed her to hear me out.
Turning to my side, I propped myself up on an elbow. “I’m going to give you that space while I say what I have to say, but do not get comfortable. This conversation ends with you back at my side. You got it?”
“Mm-hm,” she hummed unconvincingly.
“Okay, so listen. I was in love with you back then too.”
“Right. Got that,” she noted, folding her hands over her stomach. “You know, I really don’t feel like having this conversation anymore. I get it. You didn’t mean the stuff you said. It’s in the past. Let’s talk about something else.”
“It’s not in the past if you feel for one fucking second that you aren’t good enough to live in my house.”
“Oh, I was just being funny.” She waved me off but never once looked at me.
“Damn it, Ash. Stop lying to me. That was probably the only honest thing you have said today.”
“Great. Now, I’m a liar, too?”
“Okay. Clearly, space isn’t working.” I snagged her arm, trying to pull her back toward me, but she didn’t budge.
“Can we just talk about something else, please?”
“No. We absolutely cannot talk about anything until you hear me out. Ash, I’m so fucking sorry for the shit I spewed before you left. None of it was true. None.”
“Apology accepted.”
“Please don’t shut me down like that.”