After stepping out of the elevator, I’m greeted once again by the sea of construction workers. Even they don’t find me nearly as appealing today it seems. I walk down the hall, opening up Mr. Berger’s lonely office once more. As I walk towards the desk, my heart skips a beat as I glance out the window and see Gabriel sitting in his office. He’s on the phone, apparently engrossed in conversation. I want him to look up, to notice me, but he doesn’t.
Throughout the afternoon, I steal glances at him, but he never looks my way. And then at noon, a tall beautiful blonde woman appears in his office. She sits on his desk, laughing flirtatiously and touching his arm at every opportunity. She is practically throwing herself at him, and my heart sinks. Now that is probably more his type.
Well, this is what you wanted, I chide myself.
This should be a blessing in disguise. I am so not even close to being in his league. He was only in it for the sex, anyway. As soon as he fucked me, it would have been all over. But why should it matter? It’s not like I’m looking for a relationship anyway. And I will never look like tall, blonde legs Mcgee over there.
That evening on the way home, I stop at the supermarket and grab a tub of Ben and Jerry’s Half Baked. All I want to do is sit on the couch, eat junk food, and watch Gilmore Girls with Alanna. But as per usual, she’s already on her way to another date when I get home.
After I eat my ice cream and drink half a bottle of wine, which incidentally turns out to be a horrid combination, I take a long hot shower. I think of Gabriel, and it makes me angry. Why can’t I get him out of my head? I want him to want me again. But why? It can’t lead anywhere. I try to convince myself for a moment that I can just do casual with him. It’s been two years, surely I’ve learned my lesson by now. I know it’s a big fat lie, but it’s a nice thought while it lasts.
I climb into bed a little after eight, feeling even more pathetic that I’m going to sleep so early.
***
The next morning I wake even angrier. I dreamt of him all night. Damn this man for getting under my skin. At the risk of looking like a complete idiot, I need to prove a point. I’m pretty sure this is the reckless side of me coming out again, but I don’t give a damn. I spend extra time tousling my hair into perfect curls before pinning it up loosely. I do my eyes up in a smoky shadow and put on extra red lipstick. And then I slither into a silky black lace pencil dress that borders on just inappropriate enough to possibly get fired.
I slip into my pink leopard print stilettos and glance at myself satisfactorily in the mirror. Hell, what does it matter what I wear anyway? I’m alone on my floor with the exception of the construction workers.
I go to work with renewed determination. As I walk down the long hall of the nineteenth floor, the men stop to stare at me, unlike yesterday. It gives me a bit of my confidence back. When I enter the office, I see Gabriel across the way, sitting at his desk.
He seems engrossed in some paperwork and I’m not sure if he’s seen me until his head shoots up. A small smile of satisfaction creeps across my face. I make a show of walking around the desk, pulling the loose pins from my hair and allowing it to cascade down my back. I sit down in the plush leather chair and kick my leopard print stilettos up onto the polished wood as I lean back. I pick up a book and begin to read.
A few moments later, the desk phone rings, startling me. I assumed that since I hadn’t gotten a phone call in the last two days that everyone was aware of Mr. Bergers absence. I pick it up nervously.
“Phillip Berger’s office. This is Victoria speaking, how may…” I’m cut off by the brusque voice on the other end.
“Are you trying to get my attention?”
Holy shit.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I reply nonchalantly.
“Victoria,” he snarls, “this isn’t funny. There are construction workers there. I don’t want them seeing you like that.”
“What does it matter to you?” I reply bitterly. “If you can have lanky blonde women swooning over you all day, then I don’t see the harm in me setting a little fire under a few construction workers.”
He laughs softly, his tone relaxing. “Victoria, are you actually jealous?”
“What? No!” I try my best to hide my pathetic denial. Of course, I’m jealous.
“The lanky blonde was in my office for no more than twenty minutes, not all day. And yes she is after me, but I’m not interested in her.”
“Oh,” I mutter. “It doesn’t matter, none of my business. You can fuck who you like.”
“Well, in that case…” His voice grows husky. “I’d like to fuck you.”
“Um…” What can I possibly say?
And then I hear the click of the phone. I whirl around in my chair to see Gabriel storming out of his office. What is he doing?
Ten minutes later, he strolls through my door, locking it behind him. I stand up, shocked and immobile as he stalks towards me. He stops a few inches short of me, his eyes roving over every inch of my skin.