“I think I’m the lucky one.” I smile shyly. “But I would hope that you’d know that, even when I’m not wearing a collar.”
His eyes darken, and for a moment, he looks far away. “I’m working on it.”
“Gabriel, I didn’t mean…”
“Victoria,” he interjects, “you have to understand that you’re very different to any of the women I’ve dated in the past.”
“You don’t need to tell me twice,” I retort in a biting tone.
He reaches for my chin and pulls my gaze back to his. “That’s a good thing, baby.”
“Really?”
“Yes, really.” He glares at me. “Have you learned nothing tonight? I’m in love with you. I want you to get that through your head. And quit being so modest around me, you’re a very beautiful woman. The women I’ve dated in the past, they’ve got nothing on you. I didn’t even like them, let alone love them.”
“Then why did you date them?” I ask.
“They were there,” he answers honestly. “And they were convenient.”
Thinking about him with other women makes me physically ill, and suddenly I’m regretting even having this conversation.
“You have to understand that I grew up in a different world,” Gabriel continues. “One where people have everything, but they’re never happy. They put on pretenses, fake smiles, and they tell you what they think you want to hear. Nothing is genuine. Being in the position I’m in, I came to realize very quickly that women didn’t like me for who I was. They liked me for my name, and that was it. I was never interested in pursuing anything beyond a sexual relationship… until I met you.”
“I’m sorry, Gabriel,” I say softly. “I guess I never really thought about it like that.”
“You bring out the best in me.” He strokes his thumb across my cheek. “You’re the most honest woman I’ve ever met, and it’s refreshing to be around you.”
“Thank you,” I whisper.
We lay in silence for a few moments as he pulls me against him, holding me in the only arms that can make me feel safe. We just had such a sweet moment and I don’t want to ruin it, but I can’t let go of the collar issue. I feel like a depraved animal asking for such a thing, but I can’t stop the image from playing through my mind.
“Back to our original subject,” I say in my best casual tone. “The collar. I want you to really use it on me, you know… during sex.”
He frowns, but I can see the heat in his eyes even as he speaks.
“I don’t know Victoria, it might be too soon. I don’t ever want you to feel like…”
I hold up my hand, stopping him mid-sentence. “See! This is exactly why I didn’t want to tell you what I did. It’s starting already. I’m not a delicate little flower that you have to coddle. I don’t want that and I know you don’t either. So please don’t treat me that way. I don’t want your pity.”
The muscle in his jaw ticks, his eyes darkening to a stormy shade of gray, and I realize I’ve woken the beast again. Part of me is happy, and the other part is wondering what I’ve gotten myself into as he stalks out of the room.
“Don’t fucking move,” he calls over his shoulder.
I hear him rummaging through something down the hallway for several moments before he reappears with some mysterious objects in his fisted hands.
“You want it rough?” he barks at me, eyes blazing.
I jump at his tone but nod meekly. This is what I asked for.
“Yes,” I whisper.
“Get on your knees,” he orders.
I do as I’m told, sinking to the floor below, my hands resting nervously on my thighs.
I keep my head down, watching as his feet circle around and stop behind me. “I think you forget who’s in control here, Victoria,” he says coolly. “Perhaps it’s time I reacquaint you.”
I nod in response, unable to find my voice. I’m not scared because I trust him implicitly. This is what I need from him. The part of him that can take me to the darkest places, but always bring me back. The part of him that makes it okay to like these things.
Gabriel’s breath is harsh as he fists his hand in my hair and gives me a brutal but all too brief kiss. When he pulls away, I’m left gasping for breath, and before I can even catch it, I feel the smack across my back. It burns into my skin, searing me with a mixture of pain followed by pleasure. The soft leather strands trail along my skin, pulling away before he swats me again.
“Shall I keep going?” he asks huskily. “Or will you remember why you’re being punished.”
I think for a moment and then realize my mistake. But I’m not ready to atone yet, and after all the emotional overload of the last week, I need to feel this. I hold back the words he’s waiting for me to say, and nod in silence.
Another smack against my skin. I moan and gasp for air as the smacks grow quicker and harder. I remain still as I take the blows, thriving on the nerves awakening in my body. I close my eyes, soaking up everything he has to give me until he stops and speaks again.