The words that I really need to hear aren’t there. I hesitate for a moment before coming to a decision. It just isn’t enough. That isn’t an explanation, and I can’t sit here, in his apartment, feeling totally out of place. It serves as a brutal reminder of why I never wanted a relationship to begin with. Because, inevitably, I always end up hurt. And I hate the fact that I have nowhere to go, feeling so displaced.
I head for the closet and stuff as many of my clothes as I can into an overnight bag. I don’t want to take everything. At least not yet. Because that would mean admitting it’s over. As I head back down in the elevator, I try calling both Alanna and Trevor. Neither of them answers. I feel frustrated and alone as I hail a taxi to the nearest hotel.
I book in for the night, unsure of what I’m going to do tomorrow. When I open the door with my key, I remember how much I hate hotel rooms. They’re the place I spent a great deal of my years on the run, and they never felt like home. Granted, they weren’t nearly as nice as this place, but that really makes no difference.
I collapse onto the bed and flip through the TV channels, not really seeing anything on the screen. It’s just a way to distract my mind from the painful silence around me. Eventually, I curl up on the bed and close my eyes, allowing myself to succumb to the emotional exhaustion.
When I wake again, I reach for my cell phone, anxiety blooming in my chest. It’s 8:00 pm and Gabriel will be home by now. But when I flip open the phone, the only texts I find are from Trevor and Alanna. My heart sinks as my mind confirms this is what I’d been expecting all along.
I call Alanna back, giving her a brief rundown of the day’s events, and she agrees to take me out to get my mind off everything. I hang up with a satisfied smile on my face, knowing exactly where I want to go.
Alanna arrives an hour later, and she’s brought Trevor with her. They both glance at my sexy black dress and then at each other before ushering me out the door. When we get to the Club, Alanna just throws her head back in laughter.
“Oh Victoria, you are such a saucy little minx, aren’t you! I know exactly what you’re doing now… and I have to say it’s brilliant!”
I smile weakly at her. My intentions are completely transparent because I used Gabriel’s name to get in. They will have to call him and confirm it, alerting him that I’m here. But I don’t care. The immature child in me wants him to be jealous. To feel something… anything.
One hour and three shots later, I’m tearing it up on the dancefloor when he arrives. He watches from the front bar, looking sexy as hell in dark wash jeans and a black tee shirt. The people around him have parted like the red sea, but he doesn’t take notice. He’s looking down at me, and I can’t really read his expression. It faintly resembles… disappointment. I realize I don’t think I’ve ever seen that look on his face before, and it tears me apart. Before I can wrap my head around it, he turns to leave… without saying one word.
Without a second thought, I run after him, confusion and horror warring inside of me.
“Gabriel!”
He stops and slowly turns around to face me, making sure to keep his distance.
“Victoria, I think…” His voice cracks and his eyes are dark and sad again. “I’m leaving for a business trip tonight. I will be gone for a few days. I would like you to return to the apartment, I don’t like you staying in a hotel. When I get back, then we can discuss all of this.”
“Tonight?” I croak. “That doesn’t even make any sense. It’s already nearly ten, where could you possibly be going? And you never said anything, until now?”
“Victoria, it’s for the best,” he mutters. “I think we could both use a break before either one of us says something else we’ll regret.”
I try my best to steel myself as I stare up into his eyes, preparing for the inevitable heartbreak. “Gabriel, if you don’t want me anymore, just say it. No point dragging it out. You don’t have to feel responsible for me, I can stand on my own two feet. I can get all my stuff and be out of your hair by tomorrow.”
He cuts me off by pulling me close and giving me a chaste kiss on my lips. His hand brushes against my cheek as he steps back, and I instinctively lean into it.
“Victoria, I love you,” he says. “I never said I don’t want you, but I just… need some time right now.”
“Time for what?” I demand. “Why are you doing this to me? Is it because you feel differently about me now? Are you not attracted to me, what is it? Tell me what I need to do to fix this.”
I’m getting hysterical, I know it, but I don’t care. Gabriel doesn’t answer any of my questions. He doesn’t give me any false hope as he turns and leaves without another word.
Chapter Eleven
Victoria