NO WAY!!! I don’t believe you! No man is that stupid. Well, except for Dick Dimarco, remember him? Anyway, I am shocked and dismayed. Altho, come to think of it, it might explain why no one ever saw or heard from him again . . . I always did think that was sort of strange. It seems like SOMEone would have run into him or heard from him, but I gotta tell you, I saw Jerry, Joey . . . whatever his name was, the guy that was always hanging out with Michael and that guy Rex? Anyway, I ran into him at a party a couple of years ago, and when I asked him if he ever heard from Michael anymore, he got this really strange look on his face and said no, that no one did, that he was out of commission. What did THAT mean? It’s just weird, that’s all I am saying.
So okay, I decided against puce. I am now looking into gold. Is gold okay? You didn’t seem very excited about puce.
Subject: Favor
From: Michael <[email protected]>
To: Jack <[email protected]>
Time: 4:00 pm
Do me a favor, will you? I need you to corroborate my time in the agency. No details, just confirm that’s what I did. Would you just find a time and mention it to Yang? No big, but would appreciate.
Chapter Seven
LUNCH really hadn’t gone as Michael had envisioned. But what had he expected, really? That she’d feel sorry for him? No, she just thought he was nuts. Or worse, a sleazy liar.
Unfortunately, Leah could be stubborn at times and refuse to listen to reason . . . but did she really have to tell her pals?
It wasn’t long before everyone in boot camp was making cracks about James Bond, Double-Oh-Seven, and for some real laughs, Austin Powers, International Man of Mystery.
If that wasn’t bad enough, some of the production office guys had heard that some of the soccer moms were hot and had started hanging around boot camp. When they started giving him shit—asking if he’d found Dr. Evil, if that was Mini-Me in his pants—Michael had had enough. Every time he walked by Miss Kleinschmidt, she was laughing with about a dozen of her closest friends.
It was time to trot out his corroborator, whether Jack wanted to be trotted out or not.
“Hey, you know it’s a rule that we don’t get involved with any of your women problems,” Jack cheerfully rebuffed him the next morning when Michael demanded his help.
“Yeah, but it’s different this time.”
“Why?”
“Whaddaya mean, why? Because it is. Because it’s the truth, and because she is making a laughingstock of me all over boot camp.”
“I know,” Jack said with a grin. “It’s hilarious. Cooper thinks we’ve finally got a chance with some of the girls since you’ve been laughed out of commission.”
“Look, I don’t care about the rest of them, but I have my reasons for wanting Leah to know the truth. I just think she might believe me if she hears it from someone else.”
“Man, I don’t know,” Jack said with a playful wince. “That’s really crossing over to the dark side of a soap opera. I’d need a little something more than just you wanting a favor.”
Michael sighed, pulled out his Blackberry. “Okay, Jacko,” he said, and punched a couple of buttons. “Lindsey, the production assistant, right?”
“Right,” Jack said with a grin.
Michael held up his Blackberry. “You tell Leah that what I told her is the truth, and I hit send, and Lindsey’s number will be in your e-mail box before you can take your Blackberry out of your pocket.”
Jack glanced across the dirt lot where the women were running an obstacle course. Leah was sitting in one of a dozen captain’s chairs, talking with great animation. He glanced at Michael from the corner of his eye. “Let me see the number again.”
Michael held up the Blackberry where Lindsey’s name and number were clearly displayed. Jack squinted at it, rubbed his nape, and looked across at Leah and her friends again. “Great. Send me to do your groveling. Dammit, Raney, why can’t you just be a normal guy?” he complained.
But he’d started walking in that direction.
Michael hit send and went back to the office to do some work.
When he returned to the obstacle course a little later, several of the production office guys had taken up the captain’s chairs, and Nicole Redding was right in the middle of them. Why, Michael could not fathom. There was no reason she should be here at this stage of the game, and didn’t big major stars have better things to do with their time than sit around and watch boot camp for the minor actors?