Being exhausted at school was nothing new, especially on a Monday.
But being exhausted at school with her hair still smelling like smoke, despite the fact that she’d taken a shower at JD’s house and spritzed on some of Gabby’s secret-weapon locker perfume? Being exhausted at school while still fending off creepy glances from guys who thought she’d been pole-dancing at a party on Saturday night? Being exhausted at school while knowing that she was racing toward some terrible fate—and that her supposed friend Crow might be greasing the wheels? These were new lows.
The day dragged. She ignored a million calls and texts from Crow, who said they needed to talk. Probably to explain his behavior last night—and presumably, why he’d shown up at the exact moment her house was on fire. She spent English and chem wondering what was going on at home, whether she’d be able to sleep in her own bed that night. And now she had a new nervous tic: pulling strands from her ponytail around to the front of her face to make sure that they hadn’t turned red in the last five minutes. By the time the school day was over, Em was feeling manic with fatigue.
“I’m heading home,” she said, pulling Gabby aside after the final bell. “I want to see if there’s anything I can do to help my parents. Thanks for everything this morning.”
Students flowed around them, chatting and laughing, but Em was so tired that she barely heard them. They were just a low drone in the background. She couldn’t believe that once, not so long ago, this had been her whole life: what had happened over the weekend; who’d hooked up, who’d broken up.
Gabby reached up for a hug. She’d met Em in the gym locker room that morning with a fresh set of clothes—leggings and a denim tunic—plus coffee and a carrot muffin. “Of course, sweetie,” she said, giving Em a squeeze. “Let me know if there’s anything else I can do. And how about this weekend we go out for Thai? My treat.”
Em felt a pang somewhere deep inside her. I don’t think I’ll be here this weekend, she thought. She ran a hand nervously through her hair and contemplated spilling it all to Gabby. ?This could be her last chance to tell the truth to her best friend. . . .
“That would be awesome” was all she said. She felt like her heart was snapping in half.
Before they parted ways, Em was compelled to reach out for Gabby’s hand. There was an underwater-type whooshing in her ears. Everything else seemed to melt away except for the two of them, leaned up against the cold brick wall of the Ascension High hallway. A locker slammed somewhere down the hall. “Listen, Gabs, before you go . . . I just wanted to say—thanks. Thank you so much.”
“It’s no problem,” Gabby said, tilting her head. “It’s the least I can do—your house was on fire last night.”
“I’m not just talking about the clothes and stuff,” Em pressed. “I’m talking about everything. With . . . with Zach and all that. I was a terrible friend. And you were there for me anyway.” She felt her throat closing up. “You have to know how sorry I am. How sorry I’ve been.”
The words hung between them and Em thought she felt her heart stop beating for a few seconds. Gabby picked at a bit of pearly pink nail polish. When she looked up, her eyes were bluer than ever.
“I know you’ve been torturing yourself,” Gabby said, tucking a blond tendril behind her ear. “But you’ve got to believe me. I’m over it.” She managed a smile. “Look, I dodged a bullet, right? He was a total zero. And we both learned from it.”
“You deserve better,” Em said. For the first time, she realized it was possible that she judged herself more harshly even than Gabby did.
“It’s over,” Gabby said, wrapping her arms around Em’s neck for another quick hug. “Really. And we have each other. That’s what counts. Best friends for life, right?”
“For life,” Em echoed, attempting a smile. But she knew that this—Gabby, the halls of Ascension, the gossip, and the blur of people—might never be her life again.
Bing-bing. Her phone beeped in her pocket and Em straightened up. The text was from Crow, again. His message was terse: Meet me at the Dungeon.
Okay, she wrote back. She couldn’t avoid him forever. See you soon.
? ? ?
Was meeting him crazy? There was a chance that he’d gone completely off the deep end, that his reasons for being at her house last night were, in fact, less innocent than he’d have her believe. These were the thoughts that gripped her as she drove to the coffee shop.
“Hold up,” Crow said, intercepting Em on the sidewalk in front of the Dungeon. “Come back here.” He jerked his head toward the alleyway behind the coffee shop where smokers usually congregated.
“Why?” she asked.