What was left of the sweet boy who had loved her lay on the floor. The mat of his hair was his most recognisable feature, tousled, with the front combed in the way he always did it. She could look no further, could go no further.
Ella fell down. She was sick, retching painfully, her entire body rejecting the sight in front of her. It hurt so much. Her stomach cramped again and again; she curled up on her side. It was impossible to look away.
~
THEY found her there and took her away. Someone ran to fetch Amber to take care of Ella.
Ella told them she was to blame, between sobs and gasps. When they probed, she said she’d broken into Master Samson’s workroom on a whim, realising if she said more she’d bring Amber’s engagement into the situation.
Ella could still not stop the cramps in her stomach, the convulsions of her body.
An emergency session of the Academy staff was called.
~
ELLA had sent Amber away. It hadn’t been hard, to push her away like that. She didn’t know if Amber hated her now. She supposed her friend did.
She sat on Brandon’s favourite chair, rocking gently on the porch, looking out at the night.
It was a fitting place for her to live, Mallorin, here at the edge of town. She supposed she’d become like Uncle Brandon now, a recluse, spoken about but never spoken to.
Ella didn’t know how long she sat unmoving, without taking food or drink. Long enough for the night to grow cold, long enough for the sounds of the night to rise up from the trees like distant thunder. She heard the call of a tokay as it rumbled and croaked in the night. It sounded plaintive. She wondered if it was lost like her. Lonely.
Goosebumps rose on her arms. She shivered, still weak. All appetite had left her. Her mind kept returning to the sight of Talwin’s broken body.
Sleep came fitfully to her.
~
HER dreams were filled with eyes: Amber’s eyes, accusing; Master Goss’s eyes, staring into her without pity. He held up a vial of essence above Ella’s head. "It’s for your own good," he kept saying. The eyes of the students bored into her, hating her.
She stood outside a window, where a cold pie lay on the sill, untouched. She couldn’t see inside the window, it was hazy. All she could hear were a woman’s sobs, a man’s attempts to comfort her, before he broke down himself. Suddenly a face burst from the window, Talwin’s face, but his eyes had melted away, running down his face.
"Why don’t you love me?" he cried. His hands burst forth from the window, grabbing at her. Ella screamed.
"She’s ill," a calm voice said. Miro’s voice. Ella was dreaming of her brother. "Here, help me with her."
Amber’s voice murmured a reply.
Ella fought back at them, pushing at the hands that grabbed at her, painfully clutching her, their touch searing her skin.
She fell once more into darkness.
~
MIRO sat beside his younger sister, his hand gently smoothing the hair back from her brow. She lay sprawled on the bed, sometimes drawing the covers close to her, other times throwing them away, fighting when he or Amber tried to put them back on her. Her skin was terribly hot and sweat coated her body. Yet her face was white, set in a grimace, an expression it hurt him to see on her.
The guilt was terrible. If he hadn’t left, none of this would have ever happened.
"I feel so terrible. It’s all my fault," Amber said, standing by the door. She began to cry again.
Miro continued to sit on the bed. He took one of his sister’s hands. It felt clammy. A draught from outside carried in the chill autumn air.
"Please, come in and shut the door," Miro said.
Amber turned and instead left the bedroom, shutting the door behind her. Miro heard sobbing coming from the next room.
Miro continued to hold Ella’s hand, occasionally patting her brow with a damp cloth. Some terrible sickness had gripped her, something dark from inside. He did not know if she wanted to live, and without the will, she would surely fade away.
She had grown in the months he had been away, blossoming into a beautiful young woman. She probably still saw herself as the loner, the girl on the edge of town, but Miro knew she would soon be receiving men in droves, come to pay her court. If only she took her eyes from her books for a moment, and saw the way people responded to her bright nature, her sunny smile. Lord of the Sky, please let her be well!
Miro leaned forward and kissed her brow. "Be well, my sister. Know that I love you."
He entered the next room and took a seat next to where Amber sat staring at nothing, morose and red-eyed.
"I’m so sorry, Miro. It’s all my fault."
"You could not have known, Amber. There is no fault."
He paused to regard his sister’s dependable friend. Ella was not the only young woman to have blossomed in the last few months. It was sometimes sad to see the innocent faces of childhood grow into adults around him. He supposed he must be going through the same change.
"You said you thought she wanted to discredit Master Samson, to free you from marrying him. Is marriage such a bad thing, Amber?"
"I don’t love him."
"Have you said as much to your parents?"