HE was already there when she arrived. Still working on the sword, she saw. He moved back and forth along it, examining the runes, making a touch here, a touch there.
The immense sword was like a wall between them. Rather than their shared knowledge of enchantment bringing them together, it simply pushed them apart. He would allow no involvement with anything he was working on, instead treating her always like a simple student. Amber’s brow darkened when she saw him.
He didn’t even acknowledge her when she entered; he was so wrapped up in his work. She put her heavy bags onto the counter and activated the fading heatplate with a word.
When she added the meat to the pan he looked up. "Amber, you’re here. I didn’t even realise."
"What’s new," she muttered to herself.
"What was that?"
"Nothing, Igor. Nothing."
"Mmm. That smells good."
"Don’t expect much. You’ve got no idea what the level of food is getting like at the market now."
He grunted, "I can imagine. I’ve had my essence curtailed again."
"It’s not the same thing," she muttered.
"What?"
"I said it’s not the same thing," she said. "Those people… They’re struggling to feed their children. Your essence allocation would buy enough to feed entire families."
"I don’t feel like arguing, Amber. Not today."
She stirred the pot. Lord of the Sky, she was tired.
"I take it you heard about the defeat, then?" he said.
She grunted.
"They’re falling back to Mornhaven. A conference has been called. A war conference. Lord Tessolar himself left today."
"Good. Perhaps someone else will do a better job at running things here in Sarostar."
"Amber, listen to yourself! Are you well?"
She whirled, "No! I am not well!"
He took a deep breath, "What is it?"
"I don’t know!" she kept mindlessly stirring the pot. "Everything!" Tears welled in her eyes and started to run down her cheeks. "I just want everything to be back the way it was. I want my friends."
"You can’t mean that Ella girl? She ran away. I thought she showed promise, but her reckless nature told, didn’t it? People like you and I have to work that much harder because she left. Everyone here does their part, but where is she now? We’re better off without people like her. It’s war. We all need to support our soldiers in the front." He paused, clearing his throat. "Speaking of which..."
"I wish I was at the front," Amber said. She thought of Miro. Was he even still alive? Was he out there somewhere, injured, bleeding?
"No you don’t."
"At least I wouldn’t be here."
He sighed. "High Lord Tessolar asked the Dunfolk if they would help us. Did you know?"
Amber looked up, "No? What did they say?"
"They said no, what else? Stupid creatures."
"They aren’t stupid. I met their leader, the Tartana."
"That’s right. I forgot. Well, perhaps stupid isn’t the right word. Ignorant, perhaps. What would they understand of war? They’d rather keep to themselves. I will tell you something though, if Altura goes, so do the Dunfolk. They wouldn’t last a moment without us protecting their borders."
Amber thought about the vicious steel pointed arrows, propelled with unerring accuracy by the Dunfolk bows.
"I wouldn’t be so sure of that."
"Bah," Igor said. There was silence.
Amber dished up the food and they sat. Eventually she broke the silence.
"Why did you leave early today?"
Igor stopped for a moment. He took a deep breath. "I’ve been summoned to the front."
"You what? You must be joking."
"It’s true. It’s that desperate, Amber. They are calling up every man without white in his hair."
She didn’t say anything. They ate in silence, not tasting the food, simply fuelling their bodies.
"Well?" Igor finally said.
"Well what?"
"Aren’t you going to say anything?"
"What do you want me to say? You’re leaving me, just like everyone else."
Igor sighed. "I leave tonight. I’ve finished my sword. I’m taking it with me."
"You’re no bladesinger, Igor."
"I know. But I’ve been around warriors in the Pens. I know a thing or two."
Amber snorted. She didn’t know why she was being so cruel to him. He was leaving her. The emotions swirled around her head, leaving her drained and empty until she felt nothing, nothing at all.
She knew it then. She wanted him to die. She wanted to be free of this marriage, to find Miro, wherever he was, and tell him how she felt.
Igor sighed again and left the table. Amber stayed motionless, her head in her hands. She stayed silent while he packed. He came up to her and kissed her head. She looked up at him, the feelings of guilt wracking her body. He stood in the doorway and looked back at her. Then he was gone.
Amber put her hand to her belly.
"I’m sorry," she said to the unborn child inside her.
Then she broke down and cried.
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