“What was that?”
“So this grumpy prince…” He yawned. “Lived in a castle and was mean to everyone, including his royal subjects, what they didn’t know was that the beast thought that by being fierce he would earn respect. One day a fairy visited—”
“Are you re-writing beauty and the beast?” Familiarity washed over me, it was a coincidence, nothing more, that he was talking about Beauty and the Beast.
“Are you interrupting story time?”
“Sorry.”
“Nobody understands the beast,” Sergio murmured. “Beasts lash out because they are taught only violence, and yet it’s this huge shock to everyone when things go awry. Beasts are fierce because they protect what they love. Fierceness has nothing to do with being bad, and everything to do with honoring the good…”
He was convinced about it.
Like he was the beast.
“I don’t think you’re a beast, Sergio.”
“Some days… I think I’m both beast and prince… I just know how to hide it… but the tipping point is always there, and just because the beast protects, doesn’t mean he’s good. Don’t confuse my purpose with other emotions. You’ll only get hurt.”
“I’m well aware of your purpose.”
“Oh, yeah?”
“Sure.” It was my turn to yawn. “Protect the princess in the tower, give her a kiss, and lock her back in.”
He didn’t answer.
But maybe it was better that way, because at least then I could imagine a world where his answer was to break me out of the tower, carry me away, and profess his love.
That’s how stories were supposed to end.
I had a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach that mine wasn’t going to be anywhere near a Happily Ever After ending. It was time to grow up.
Time to accept my fate.
As a woman.
…But I will wed thee in another key; with pomp, with triumph, and with reveling. –A Midsummer Night’s Dream
Sergio
I WAS IN the clouds.
There was blood on my hands.
A gun in my right.
A knife in my left.
“Where am I?” I wondered aloud.
“Mafia heaven.” Andi appeared in front of me, dressed in white, just like on our wedding day.
I fell to my knees and hugged her body, burying my face against her full skirt, but tears wouldn’t come.
“All dried up? How DARE you!” She laughed and then pulled away and twirled a few times, only to stop and stare at me. “I’m happy.”
“Good.” I choked on the word. “I’m not.”
Her face fell. “And whose fault do you think that is?”
“I hate this dream.”
“Dreams are simply our brains’ way of processing emotions, life, stress.” She shrugged. “I’m in your dream because you’re still processing, that’s okay, but so is she…”
“She?” Confused, I looked to where she was pointing. The couch appeared in front of me where Val hugged her body, and a tear ran down her cheek. I reached for her but she disappeared.
“You know you’re doing a shitty job when her tears outnumber her smiles.”
“Hell.” I wiped my face with my hands. “She’s not you.”
“Right.” Andi nodded. “Because if she were, that would mean you were screwing a ghost. Gross, Italy”
I reached for Andi again but she stepped away and danced in front of me. I could watch her for days — years.
“I miss you,” I whispered.
But it was as if she didn’t hear me. She just kept dancing around in front of me, and then she paused and glanced over her shoulder. “I’m gone, Sergio.”
“I know but—”
“Ashes to ashes, dust to dust…” She started to disappear in front of my eyes. “I’m gone.”
And then when I couldn’t see her anymore the wind whispered.
“But I’m whole.”
I jerked awake in a cold sweat, tears running down my cheeks. I furiously wiped at them then caught a movement from the corner of my eye. Val sat up with a wide-eyed stare.
And then without saying anything, she slowly moved from the couch to the floor and held out her hand.
I stared at it.
With a huge sigh, she reached for my hand and picked it up, squeezed, and didn’t let go.
I was still staring at our hands pressed together when she tugged me down to a sleeping position, still beside me.
Too upset to sleep, I stared at the spot just above her forehead where her pretty hair parted to the side.
“Tell me about her,” Val whispered.
My eyes stung with unshed tears.
“She was… brave.” There was so much more, but the words wouldn’t get past my lips.
Val didn’t respond. I thought she was asleep, but when I glanced down, she was staring at me as if to encourage me to go on.
So I did.