"Please," she pleaded. "I can be strong the rest of the time. I can be optimistic. I can be happy — because honestly, that's how I've always been, but I think… I think I need to grieve first. I need to grieve over us. I need to grieve over what should have been — what could have been."
My eyes were so blurred with tears I couldn't make out her small form. "Come here," I whispered.
She burst into tears and crawled into me, her tiny body sitting halfway across my body as I held her tightly.
"I love you, you know." She sobbed into my chest. "You're the best friend I've ever had."
"You're my best friend too." My voice cracked. I needed to be strong for her; this was not the time for me to cry. I'd do plenty of that, I imagined, in my future. But for now... I was going to be her rock. "I've never had one of those before. Does this mean we get to exchange bracelets or something?"
Her sob turned into a laugh. "Yeah, I'll be sure to get one made."
"You do that." I squeezed her tight and kissed her head. "Cry as hard and as long as you want, and when you're done, if you have to cry some more, that's okay."
She took my words to heart, sobbing her little heart out, while I hugged her, kissed her face, squeezed her hands, and told myself not to break.
When she quieted down about a half-hour later, I set her back and looked at her tear-stained face.
"I was your punishment." She sniffled.
"Wrong." I tilted her chin up. "You were my gift."
CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
Sergio
COMING HOME FROM THE HOSPITAL WAS bittersweet. Damn, I was using that word a lot lately. After spending a week there, I was more than ready to be home — and so was Andi.
She was getting weaker by the day.
Watching someone you love deteriorate before your very eyes was indescribable. I was getting healthier; she was getting sicker. And there was nothing I could do to stop the clock; it seemed each minute I took in a hearty breath I noticed hers was more labored. She'd done three transfusions over the last week, and though she said they'd helped, I knew they'd only done so much.
"Home!" Andi spread out her hands then clung to me to keep from falling. Her balance had been seriously suffering, and I knew it would only get worse.
I had to blink back tears. Soon my house would be silent again — no more baseball bats and pans, no more arguing, yelling, fighting.
I pushed the morose thoughts away just as the doorbell rang.
Frowning, I set Andi down on the stairway and walked over to answer the door.
"Do you have Cheetos?" Bee asked, hands on hips, then pushed past me. "Phoenix promised you'd have Cheetos." She walked briskly by and gave Andi a high five on the way to the kitchen.
"Sorry." Phoenix moved into the doorway. "She's on a Cheetos kick. God help me if this pregnancy has her eating every color of the rainbow. You know how I feel about color," he joked. Once upon a time he refused to eat anything that wasn't a leafy green — long story.
He pushed past me, carrying two duffel bags. "My old room, okay?"
"Okay?" I repeated. "For what?"
"Aw," Tex's low voice crooned, "did you really think you would get rid of us so easy? Dibs on the bigger room. Mo wants the attached marble bathroom!"
Tex shoved past me. Mo kissed me on the cheek and followed.
Nixon and Trace were next. Bags in hand. Trace winked and skipped after the rest of the group while Nixon shrugged. "We're family. Family sticks together."
Chase and Mil drove up and parked directly in front of the door. Mil was yelling at Chase for driving too fast, and Frank was climbing out of the back seat, looking like he was going to puke.
"Frank too?" I frowned.
"Frank gets lonely!" Chase yelled up at me. "Imagine that? He actually likes having us around."
Frank rolled his eyes and grabbed his bag from the car. "I do love getting talked about as if I don't exist."
I couldn't hold in my smile. While the rest of the gang had just one duffel bag, Frank had a duffel bag, a garment bag, a hat, and a cane. A man after my own heart, he even worsewore scarves. He probably had a closet that made mine look small and cheap.
Frank pointed up toward the house. "I'll just take the room farthest away from my granddaughter."
"Good idea," I choked.
Once everyone was in the house, I went back to grab Andi, only to find her missing.
Laughter echoed out of the kitchen. I followed it.
Wine was open. Lots and lots of wine.
And Andi was talking animatedly about our honeymoon list. Oh shit. She actually had it pulled out.
"We went from thirteen to—"
"Andi." I coughed and shook my head.
"Damn," Chase grabbed the Cheetos from Bee. "The story was just getting good."
The doorbell rang again. "What the hell?"
Nixon moved past me. "It's probably Ax and Ames, the last of the crew. I'll get it."
Sure enough, Ax and Amy walked into the kitchen.