She was still trying to peer around me. "I wrote it fifteen times because I figured we'd be on a honeymoon for seven days — that's sex twice a day plus a bonus round."
I walked past her, steam billowing off my body. "Sweetheart, you don't plan sex."
"Well…" She crossed her arms. "…I do."
I leaned against the countertop. "So that's it? You're propositioning me?"
"Nope, I picked out a few other things on the list." She slid it across the granite counter and leaned her hip next to my body. "Read."
"So demanding."
"I'll go get my pot and wood stick."
"Reading," I grumbled.
"Pet a giraffe?" I said aloud. "What the hell?"
Andi shrugged and examined her fingers. "Sergio, if we were going on an African safari, I'd get to see a damn giraffe."
"And you want to see a giraffe because?"
"They're tall."
I fought for control over my temper. "That's it? Because they're tall?"
She nodded.
"Fine, can we just paint Tex to look like a giraffe and give you a paintball gun so it's like a real safari?"
Andi tapped her chin. "That may work. Hey, you're useful after all!"
I kept reading. "I hate hippos."
"Well, that's unfair." Andi started wiping off the mirror with a fresh towel then tossed me my deodorant. "Have you ever even met a hippo?"
"If I had, I wouldn't be standing here."
"Oh, please," She waved me off. "You'd be fine, flesh wound, nothing more."
"They drown people!" My voice rose an octave. "Because they can!"
"Details."
I huffed while I applied the deodorant, then tossed it back at her and walked toward my large closet.
"Next!" She clapped her hands and shoved past me into the closet and began frantically looking through my designer jeans.
I paused and looked at the honeymoon wish list. "Sharks? You want to swim with sharks?"
She nodded but didn't turn around; instead, a pair of jeans went flying through the air, nearly hitting me in the face.
I caught them just in time. "How about I take you fishing, and we can pretend there are sharks, or better yet, I get a blow-up shark toy and put it in the pool out back?"
"Hmm…" A sweater sailed over my head. "…I may agree to those terms as long as you put on the Jaws theme song."
"I'll hum it."
She stood to her full height and laughed. "Such a good sport."
"Right. That's what I'm being — a good sport. I figure if I don't at least try to make you happy, you're going to make my life hell then shoot me in my sleep."
"The idea has merit."
"See?"
"Wear those." She pointed to the clothes she'd tossed onto the floor. "And I really like the new boots you bought online a few days ago."
"You read my mail, don't you?"
"Can I have a credit card with no limit?" she asked, ignoring my question but actually answering it, considering she'd probably seen my credit card statement.
"Sure… can you stop waking me up with your pot-and-pan trick?"
"Ohh… he drives a tough bargain."
"I'll give if you do." I picked the clothes off the floor and approached her. "What do you say?"
"I say…" She eyed the list in my hand. "…give me one thing on the list today, and you have a deal."
I glanced back down at the list. She wanted to go on a foxhunt, whatever the hell that was. An idea popped into my head. "Fine, go change into something you can move in."
"Really?" She squealed.
Her excitement was this tangible real thing, almost like I could taste it in the air. I fought to keep myself from catching her enthusiasm. "Really."
"You're the best husband ever!" Her hand reached for my towel. She tugged. The towel fell.
I scowled but had nothing to hide.
Her hand moved to my hip, and then her fingertips grazed my abs. "You sure you don't want to work on those other fifteen options?"
My body said yes.
Her eyebrows arched in… ah, there it was, not necessarily wonderment, but I could tell she was at least semi-impressed by the way she licked her lips.
My body was on board, but every other part of me said no — that it would be the final straw, that I'd fall and have no hope of ever being the same again. I took a step back.
She pouted, but her eyes drank their fill. "Fine, but one day I'm going to stop asking, and where's that going to leave you?"
"Rhetorical question?"
"Food for thought." She winked. "I'm going to get ready. Hurry up! Don't want to be late for our first adventure."
She skipped out of the room.
Leaving me in silence, in my giant closet.
Her presence was like the sun, making everything seem brighter, happier. I hadn't realized until that day how boring and dark my life had become.
But that was what happened when you actually experienced life through someone else; you realized what you've been doing wasn't living, but existing.
And I had a sinking feeling that my existence would miss hers even now… after only knowing her for a week.
It was a scary thought.
Terrifying actually, to imagine a world where people like Andi — where Andi herself — didn't exist.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Andi