"Wait, what?" Did she just say taste?
"You can look…" She nodded slowly. "…but only if you intend on following through. Otherwise, off limits."
"Don't you have that backward?"
"No." She shook her head, a perplexed look crossing her cute features. "I don't think so."
"So I can look, but I have to touch?"
Andi answered my lame-ass question by quickly grabbing my hand and placing it on her ass. "Any questions?"
I wasn't easy to shock. Hell, it was damn near impossible. So the fact that she'd managed to do that in under twenty-four hours was pretty impressive.
Clearly, my body agreed with me, considering my hand plastered against her ass, then squeezed. Blood quickly rushed into all the wrong places.
She let out a little huff as her cheeks tinged with red. Anger replaced the lust. I hated that she wanted me almost as much as I hated how much I wanted her.
I jerked her against my body. "Don't get yourself too excited, Russia. I don't screw corpses."
"Oh thank God, I'm still alive then." She fanned herself. "You should probably work on your game though, because I'm not going to make it easy for you when you do eventually want to partake."
"Partake? What is this? One of your historical romance novels?"
"You'd be a sexy Duke." She winked and let out a light laugh. "Now, the list."
A piece of crinkled paper was smashed into my free hand.
"You can take your hand off my ass now." She smirked.
I pinched, just because I could.
She let out a little yelp then narrowed her eyes. "Play fair."
"Never." I chuckled then started reading the list.
My stomach clenched tighter and tighter as I mentally checked off all the things she wanted to do for our honeymoon.
"There's like a hundred things on here," I pointed out.
"Ninety-nine, but hey, it's okay that math isn't your strong suit."
"The hell it isn't!"
"Ah, he doesn't like to be the less smarter one in the room. Gotcha." She smacked my check. "You're super smart, Italy. Swear."
I muttered a curse and shoved the list into my pocket. "Fine, we'll do some of these things, but that's only because it's a better alternative than jumping out of my window — something I was actually pondering after the FBI decided to—"
What the hell was I doing?
Confessing?
Andi's body froze, and then she slumped a bit, as if the energy from before had completely drained out of her. "Is it because of me? That they fired you?"
"Firing would have been a nicer word to use." I sat on the barstool and eyed the eggs she had been busy sprinkling with cheese. "And no, it's not because of you. It's because of me."
"They gonna try to kill you now?" she asked, her face serious.
"Ha, now wouldn't that be convenient for you." I was lashing out, trying to make her feel bad because I felt bad, and because I hated that she looked like she pitied me.
"Actually, no." Andi grabbed two plates and started piling food on both of them. "It's convenient that I have my own sexy bodyguard who's going to dress up as a duke later. I mean, if I didn't have you, I'd have to go hire someone."
"I never said I'd dress up."
"And I already bought the costume so…"
"Costume?" I repeated.
Her answer was to hand me a fork and a plate. "Besides…" She shoveled food into her mouth. "…I like your muscles."
"What?" I choked out a bit of egg; it fell onto my plate. Embarrassing. Huh, and I didn't do embarrassed. Always a first time for everything.
Andi smiled, mouth full of eggs, cheeks stuffed to the brim. On anyone else, it would have looked messy — slothlike. On her? It may or may not have been slightly endearing.
I looked down, breaking eye contact.
"Muscles. For when I can't walk anymore." She said it in a happy voice, but I could tell there was a bit of sadness there. How could she not be sad?
"So not only am I your husband-turned-protector-turned-duke, but now I'm your damn nurse too?"
"Ask me if I got an outfit for that too."
"Almost afraid to." I sighed. The doorbell rang, and then the door slammed shut.
"Are we expecting company on our first day of wedded bliss?" Andi's voice sounded hurt.
I looked into her eyes and cursed.
They were pooling with tears.
What the hell?
"Russia…" I wasn't sure why I felt the need to explain myself. "…Nixon's stopping by to add some backup, just in case the FBI decides to tie up a loose end."
"Me?"
I shook my head. "Me."
"Don't worry." She placed her hand on mine. "I'll protect you, Italy."
I bit back a smile. "I wouldn't will you on anyone."
"Aw." She took that same hand and put it on her heart. "You and your compliments. Don't make me blush."
I was about to say something in response when Nixon waltzed in.
"How's wedded bliss, Andi?"
"Great." Andi shoved more eggs into her face and shrugged. "We're going to play dress-up later."
Nixon bit down on his lip, probably to keep from laughing his ass off. "Oh really?"
"Yup." Andi smiled. "Want me to record and upload to YouTube?"