Elly In Bloom

Kim opened one eye. “I’m not. But even if I am, you will still take me to the wholesaler because I need some new vases for my mantle.”


Elly smiled. Kim lived for the wholesaler. Every type of vase and candle, house plant, and silk orchid was held in high esteem at St. Louis Wholesale. Every time Elly headed in that direction, Kim tagged happily along and dropped hundreds of dollars on whatever fit her fancy.

Kim let out a long breath. “Keep driving. I’m fine.” Elly nodded and drove silently towards downtown St. Louis, guided by the giant arch looming against the skyline.

Entering the wholesaler was like stepping into a literal retail jungle. Aisle after aisle of clear vases radiated in the sunlight, reflecting back shadows and light across their transparent faces. Each tall shelf was lined up the sides with wreaths of every shape and color: Christmas wreaths with candy canes and red velvet ribbon, lemon leaf wreaths decked with pale green sugared pears, yellow forsythia wreaths, pink cherry blossom wreaths, and Elly’s personal favorite: a simple lavender wreath, tied with a petite purple bow.

Kim sighed in ecstasy and grabbed two shopping carts. “If you need me…” she trailed off in the direction of the decorative pillows. Elly pulled out her intimidating shopping list for the Kepke wedding and groaned dramatically. She needed 150 mirror and gold antique glass votives, 17 bejeweled candle holders for the ceremony, ribbons in gold, canary and pale pink, seven wreath holders, 250 metal embossed and rimmed tags, 10 rolls of white satin… Ugh. Elly leaned on her shopping cart and headed for the wall of candles.

She had been shopping for about half an hour when she heard the familiar shrill voice, the one that sent shivers up her spine.

“Ah don’t know how you could even SUGGEST that hideous pink color to me. Look at it, it’s like cotton candy threw up on a rose. Why would you even make me look at this?? ASHLEE! Don’t turn your back to me!”

Elly’s felt the hairs on her arm stand up. She backed up and wheeled her shopping cart around, making a beeline for the adjacent aisle. Breathlessly turning the corner, Elly crouched down behind a shelf of Boxwood trees and peered through a small opening between leaves.

Lizette Kobul, clad in a full body denim jean cat suit with yellow heels, was shouting at her wide-eyed assistant, her short spiky hair bobbing up and down.

“ASHLEE. Now you just listen to me, hun. There is NO reason that I should ever have to do everything myself. When I tell you that I need a Persian pink ribbon, then I need a Persian Pink ribbon, not a tea rose pink. Do you understand what I’m saying, darling? Am I speaking clear enough English? PE-ERRR-SIAN.” She shook the ribbon in front of her face. “Now go on, and go find me some matching lace for that. Do not disappoint me again, otherwise you will be standing in the welfare line come tomorrow mornin’. I SWEAR I could hire an infant at the breast to do your job.”

The assistant scampered away.

Elly heard a popular hip hop song coming from Lizette’s pocket and felt grateful for the distraction.

Lizette sighed loudly and flipped her phone open. “Honey, what do you need? I am very busy and don’t have a lot of time for your questions.” There was silence. “Well, I don’t know about Tommy’s allergies – have you called the nanny? She would know. Mm-kay. Mm-kay. Well, just run a bath for him and wait until she comes over. Well, Philip, I DON’T KNOW, you are supposed to be cooking dinner while I am out making a livin’. I want a salad, and I want the sugared almonds and no, I don’t care if you have to take Tommy downtown covered in calamine lotion, I want those damn almonds!”

Elly bit her lip to keep from breathing. She slowly backed away from the boxwood trees, and tiptoed towards her cart. Unfortunately, her weak ankles didn’t provide a great support for her curvy figure and one turned in, sending Elly flying into a shelf of azalea bushes. There was a giant crash, and a terra cotta planter exploded near Elly’s feet. Oh no. She heard Lizette pause suspiciously.

“Honey, I’ll call you back. Don’t even think about moving.” Her phone snapped shut loudly. Elly hastily tried to put everything back on the shelf as she heard Lizette’s stilettos echo ominously toward her. The metallic clicking rounded the corner and stopped short. Elly turned around on her knees and raised her hand in a half-wave.

“Hello, Lizette.”

Lizette smirked, her wide lips opening in a saccharine smile. “Elleeee Jordan. Why is it that every time I see you, you are in some kind of mess?”

Elly brushed the soil off her pants and tried to look as dignified as possible. “Lizette. Always good to see you.”

Lizette gestured to the mess at Elly’s feet. “Were you buying that hideous planter?” She snorted. “Well, I guess you will be now!” She strode up to Elly, phone still in hand. “So I guess you know we’ll be seeing each other next week for the Kepke wedding!”