At least her entire body wasn’t flush with his or she’d feel his very-hard-to-hide reaction to her. Not that it would have mattered, as she fell into a deep sleep within five minutes.
As soon as she was under, he wrapped his arm just a little more snugly around her and let himself drift too. He couldn’t help thinking that if things between them were just a little different, if a woman like Karen gave herself to him, he’d never let her go. But he figured he’d fucked things up completely as far as that was concerned. She might be willing to help him, but considering that he’d kidnapped her, he doubted she’d ever want more from him.
Relaxing as much as he’d allow himself, he pushed out a long breath. He wouldn’t go into a deep sleep—he was too primed right now, but a quick rest was exactly what he needed.
? ? ?
Karen jerked awake with a start only to have Tucker’s heavy arm tighten around her.
“You’re okay,” he murmured, his hand smoothing up and down her spine in a gentle motion.
Though her heart rate had kicked up a couple of notches, she immediately settled at the feel of him next to her. Her internal clock told her not too much time had passed since she dozed, and it was still dark outside. “What time is it?” she murmured, her cheek pressed against his chest. His very bare chest. He had a smattering of dark hair, but he wasn’t smooth. Her fingers were splayed across his taut abdomen and it took all her self-control not to stroke up and down all his cut muscles. She knew he’d just been comforting her earlier when he offered to let her sleep on him. She couldn’t read anything more into it.
“A little after eleven.” His voice was quiet, without a hint of tiredness.
He was like a machine. Or just very, very trained to live in certain conditions. Not her; she needed her sleep to function like any sort of normal human being. “Hey, whatever happened to my clothes?” she asked suddenly. They hadn’t been on the floor when she got out of the bathroom earlier, but she’d been so exhausted she hadn’t thought about it.
“I threw them in the wash with mine. Got up an hour ago and put most of them in the dryer. Hung up the pants, since they’re those dri-fit material. Hope that’s all right.”
The thought of him touching her underwear made her blush, but whatever, she was past caring about something like that. It was really thoughtful that he’d even done that. “Thank you.”
He grunted a noncommittal sound that could have meant anything. “How’re you feeling?”
“Amazing. You’re like a furnace,” she said, savoring his warmth and wishing she was doing more than just lying in his arms. The last guy she’d been intimate with was her last boyfriend about two years ago. He hadn’t been able to handle her crazy work schedule and deep down, she figured he’d known she was holding back part of herself. She had to when she couldn’t even tell him what she did for a living. If she’d foreseen things getting serious, she would have been truthful with him, but if he hadn’t been able to deal with her work schedule she had little faith he’d have been able to deal with anything else.
With Tucker, it was so freeing that she could be real with him. Of course, the circumstances were different, since he’d kidnapped her, but she didn’t care. It was so damn liberating that he knew what she did for a living, that she didn’t have to hold back with him. With his arms around her, it was hard to ignore what being held like this—by Tucker—did to her body.
He chuckled low, his breath warm over the top of her head. “Try to get some more sleep. We’ve got a couple hours till they pick us up. Might as well take advantage.”
He was right, she knew. But she also knew that once they got picked up, things would start moving at warp speed. She might not ever see Tucker again. For some reason that thought set off a twinge in her chest. “Why’d you decide to join the DEA?” she asked. This wasn’t the kind of thing outlined in his official file and she was genuinely curious.
Tucker was silent for a long moment, his breathing steady in the quiet room. She wasn’t sure he’d even answer, but he did. “Max approached Cole and me. I’d never planned to stay in the Corps forever and it seemed like a good career change.”
“Do you like it?”
“The undercover work can be difficult.”
She knew he was thirty-four from his file and that he’d been with the DEA for six years. Yeah, that kind of work could wear on someone. “You plan on staying with them?”
His chest rumbled as he let out a low laugh. “If we don’t get arrested and thrown in prison for treason, I honestly don’t know. After the Tasev job . . . I’ve been thinking about a change.”
“I don’t blame you.” She had no idea what he’d done or seen over the last six years, but she knew what a monster Tasev was. Working for that guy, even for a couple of months, had to have been difficult.
His hand continued to stroke up and down her spine, the gesture so soothing. Her nipples automatically tightened at the feel of him. “What about you? How’d you end up with the NSA?”
“They recruited me while I was still in college.” Given her test scores, her major, and her analytical mind, it wasn’t really a surprise they’d approached her.
“And?” he pushed, when she didn’t continue. “You didn’t have to say yes. Why’d you go with them?”
“I . . .” She thought about lying but decided to just be honest, especially after everything they’d been through the past day. “I was just finishing up with my master’s when my brother died over there.” Since Tucker already knew her brother had died in Afghanistan, she didn’t spell it out. “He was the only family I had and I know it sounds cheesy, but I wanted to make a difference for our country. I think it’s part of the reason they approached me, but I could be wrong. And at the risk of sounding even cheesier, when I was growing up my brother protected me and I think it helped instill this need in me to help those who can’t help themselves. I don’t care that pretty much everything I do is behind the scenes, I sleep better at night knowing I have a part in keeping our country safe.” Keeping the very real monsters at bay. Though it wasn’t all just out of the goodness of her heart, she knew. Some of it was about pure control. She needed to feel in control and she didn’t need a psychology degree to know it was because of her lack of control as a kid.
“You two were close?”
“Yeah.” She realized she’d started drawing little circles on his stomach, but he didn’t seem to mind. Even so, she stilled her fingers. “I’m about to overshare, so if you don’t want to hear all this, tell me to stop.”
“I want to hear.”