I reached out to him, and he grabbed my hand, sitting in the seat beside me. He kissed my fingers, and closed his eyes. I waited for several moments, but he stayed still and silent. I turned to see Bex and Claire, eyes closed. Bex’s lips moved in prayer.
Guilt washed over me. They didn’t need to be on the plane. Bex didn’t, either. If Hell pulled a fast one and the plane went down, we were helpless to stop it. I knew they didn’t question their presence, though, but that only made me feel worse. It was all of us, or none of us, and the display of the lengths our mismatched family would go to for each other brought tears to my eyes.
Jared wiped the tear that raced down my cheek. “Ready?”
I nodded, forcing a smile. “I was born for this, right?”
“We all were.”
The engines whined, and the plane wheels began to roll. The wing lights blinked against the fuselage, casting a red glare at half the time of my heartbeat.
“Try to relax,” Jared whispered. His voice held no conviction. He knew they were just words.
We all waited for our impending death, knowing our chances plummeted the second the plane was in the air. The flight to Jerusalem was long—too long to cope with constant fear that every jostle or noise would signal our fall from the sky.
I turned to look at my family. Claire and Ryan were in deep, quiet conversation. Bex sat next to Kim, chewing his pinky nail, and Kim stared blankly ahead. The engines whined as the wheels rolled forward. The pilot taxied on the runway, and after a short pause, the plane surged forward. The sudden acceleration of the aircraft pressed my back into the seat. I closed my eyes, trying not to feel every flaw in the runway, or the wind resistance against the wings. My new abilities were exciting, and at times had saved my life, but for the first time, I wished for the aptitude to turn them off.
As we raced faster and farther down the runway, I imagine the tiny wheels, and how on earth at that speed the plane didn’t veer off into the grass, or a building. At that point, everything that could possibly go wrong before we even got off the ground flashed through my mind, and my heart pounded so hard against my chest wall that I thought I would die of a heart attack before we left Providence.
“Nina,” Jared said in smooth tone. He leaned into my ear, and his lips brushed against my skin. He pulled my arm across him, and kissed my neck. I gripped his shirt, my knuckles white. I was relieved to be in the arms of my husband, but for all the wrong reasons.
“I’m afraid,” I said, stuttering.
“I know.” He gently held my jaw with both of his hands, and lowered his chin. His dark blue eyes met mine. “We’re going to make it. I won’t let anything happen to you.”
“Don’t start making promises you can’t keep, now.”
He kissed me, hard and purposeful. Once, I could have become lost in a kiss like that, but the wheels were leaving the ground, and we were now a large and easy target.
“Nina, you have to have faith.”
My eyebrows pulled together. “Someone is going to have to give me a reason. I’m all out of faith.” The plane dipped a bit before making a sharp turn.
“Look at how far we’ve come,” he said, smiling. He meant to be comforting, but I could see the fear behind his eyes.
I buried my face in the crook of his neck, and squeezed him to me. My eyes shut tight, trying to push away the overwhelming feeling that we had been deceived, corralled into this deathtrap —the one place Jared couldn’t control.
The plane righted itself, and then climbed effortlessly into the night sky. The lights below appeared to shrink, until they seemed like glowing clusters of fireflies. Everything else on the ground was black and ominous.
Jared was unfolding a map of the old city, sprawling it across his lap. He used his finger to trace different routes to the Sepulchre, then sighed. “I wish we’d had enough time to send someone ahead. To shape the battle space.”
I touched his free hand. “I don’t know what that means, but we’ll figure it out.”
He paused. “I apologize for the military jargon. I’m just in that mode at the moment.”
“I understand,” I said. The stress he suffered was nearly visible. The pressure was crushing him.
His eyes slowly fell on where my fingers touched his skin, and then closed. He took a deep, faltering breath, and exhaled. “I am terrified of losing you. The routes, the possibility of last minute change of plan, everything that could possibly go wrong has ran through my mind so many times, I doubt I’ll ever forget. I love you so much, Nina. I love our child. The fear of failing you weighs so heavy on my mind, I feel like I’m going crazy.”
I turned in my seat to face him. My eyes bore into his, filling with tears fueled by every emotion. “If I’ve ever believed in you, Jared, it’s now. Whatever happens, whatever crosses our path, I know you’ll make the right choice.” I pulled his hand to my round belly. “We both believe in you.”
“Claire has spent quite a bit of time there.” He turned and gestured at her to join them.