He licked the spoon angrily. “It was none of your business.”
“Oh, that’s priceless!” Suz leaned forward and grabbed the spoon out of his hand, then proceeded to jab it in the air in front of him. “You tell me every last detail about your life, whether I want to know about it or not. Do you think I enjoy knowing about all the dirty things you and Parker did with my best friend? But no, that’s a perfectly acceptable conversation topic for you.”
“Says the woman who makes sure I know the dick size of every guy she bones,” Dean said irritably. “Talking about sex is normal. It’s what we do, Jonesy. We don’t frickin’ talk about love, okay?”
That threw her for a loop, and she nearly dropped the spoon as she gaped at him. “Love? You love Emma?” She hadn’t gotten much information out of Emma on the phone earlier. All Emma had said was she and Dean had “history”, and was there a reason he was outside her door? When Suz had warned her that a closed door wouldn’t keep Dean out and that he’d be inside soon, the other woman had railed into Suz for arranging an unwelcome blind date, and promptly hung up.
“I knew her when I was younger,” Dean admitted. “And yeah, I loved her.”
The bleak note in his voice thawed some of Suz’s anger. Sighing, she turned toward the kitchen and grabbed a second spoon, then returned to the couch and tossed it his way.
“I didn’t know,” she said with another sigh.
“Yeah. You didn’t.”
After a beat of hesitation, she curled up next to him. They both stuck their spoons into the container, clicking metal together briefly as they drowned their sorrows in sugar and fat.
“What happened between you two?” she finally asked.
Dean licked ice cream off the corner of his mouth then sprawled backward, arms flung to the side. He tilted his head toward her and the look in his eyes—heartbreaking.
“I left her.”
Suz narrowed her eyes. “What does that mean, you left her?”
“Exactly what it sounds like.” His expression swam with regret. “We were in love, and I walked out on her. I had my reasons, but I really don’t want to get into them right now, so please, don’t bust my balls about this. I was a selfish kid, all right? I left her, and I hurt her, and I spent years trying to apologize for it, but she didn’t want to hear it.”
Suz wasn’t sure she blamed her. Emma came off as tough and confident, but it was easy to see the woman had a vulnerable interior. “Did she hear it tonight?”
Dean nodded, and his gray eyes grew pained. “Not that it mattered. She accepted my apology, but she has no interest in seeing me again.”
“Do you want to see her again?” Suz wrinkled her forehead. “You just said you’ve been waiting for a chance to apologize. Well, you apologized. What more do you have to say?”
His strong jaw tightened in that determined line Suz had seen countless times before. Uh-oh. She knew that look.
“I want her to see that I’ve changed. That I’m not a selfish jerk.” He raked a hand through his hair. “I just…I can’t have her thinking I’m some kind of…I don’t know…asshole, I guess.”
“I see.”
Dean stiffened. “Why are you grinning?”
She was grinning? Suz honestly hadn’t realized it. But she couldn’t deny she suddenly found this highly entertaining.
“You still have feelings for her.” It was impossible to contain her delight.
He looked stricken. “What? No. I mean, I’ll always care about her, obviously. But this isn’t about trying to hook up with her. It’s about proving to Emma that I’m different now.”
“Why do you have to prove anything?” Suz countered.
“Because…because I just do,” he sputtered. “We grew up together, okay? We were together for three years. Maybe it makes me an egotistical bastard, but I can’t stand the thought of Emma hating me or thinking I’m some kind of creep.”
“Uh-huh. Sounds like you don’t have feelings for her at all.”
Dean stuck his spoon in the cartoon, then shoved a full scoop into his mouth. His agitation was visible, which only made Suz grin harder. Oh shit. Never in a million years had she expected this day to come, but here it was.
Dean Colter, the manwhore of the century, was tied up in knots over a woman. A woman he’d probably never stopped loving.
And he didn’t even realize it.
Chapter Seven
Routine. It was Emma’s favorite word, and the one thing she forced herself to stick to whenever the anxiety started creeping in. Breathing exercises and meditation helped, but she’d found the best way to stop her mind from dwelling on the stresses of life was to utilize tried-and-true methods of distraction.