Carlos tugged my hand until I stopped walking and turned to face him.
“What could be better than your love?” He pulled me close and brushed a thumb over my cheek as he held my face. “A smart man would welcome it in any form. Ethan was smart and knew what he had.”
I exhaled slowly, knowing Carlos was right.
“Thank you.”
“Anytime, Isabelle.”
We resumed walking down the hall and left the building through the parking garage again. Outside, I shivered.
“I need a quiet corner,” I said, setting out at a brisk pace.
As soon as I felt sufficiently warm, I stepped up to a jog. Following last night’s path, I found a discreet place and stopped. Carlos halted beside me. When I glanced his way, he nodded.
I pushed everything out, and instead of relaxing the force to push out, I maintained it. It felt like I’d done a cannonball into a pool. The emotions that surrounded me couldn’t touch me, and I floated in a blissful void. The bliss only lasted for a few seconds.
“This feels weird,” I said.
Siphoning was a part of me. Not pulling in anything started to make me panic. Though I knew I continued to breathe, I felt oxygen starved, like a fish out of water, gasping for air. I wouldn’t be able to maintain a push indefinitely.
I relaxed the effort behind my force to keep emotions out and once again started to feel the emotions around me. Relief flooded me. It was like regaining feeling in a sleeping limb. I immediately pushed out again, then relaxed the push to let a little in before repeating the exercise once more. Like treading water, I kept myself submerged in emotions but afloat.
“I think I can do this.”
We started back toward the apartments. When we neared people, I kept an eye on their reactions. Most of them frowned and looked around. I wondered what they felt from me. But there were no severe reactions. No staggering or nosebleeds.
Everyone was waiting for us in the garage.
“How did it go?” Bethi asked.
“Well, I can’t just keep everything out like Thomas said. If I push, I can’t feel what everyone around me is feeling, which would defeat the purpose of sending me. But if I push and pull, like breathing in and out, there won’t be a buildup to bother me or anything that might hurt someone else. It should work.”
“And there are no adverse effects?” Winifred said, looking at Carlos.
“Nothing adverse,” he said.
“Then, let’s go,” Grey said, motioning us to the car.
“We’ll see you at dinner,” Winifred said. The rest of the group started moving to the stairwell.
“Be careful,” Bethi said before she and Luke followed the others.
“We need to stop and get a coat for Isabelle,” Carlos said as he opened the back door for me.
I slid over, hoping he’d join me in the back. He did. He also reached out and threaded his fingers through mine. The feeling of his thumb brushing over my skin helped ease the lingering ache from Thomas’ comment. Ethan would have been happy I was giving Carlos a chance. And with that realization, my remaining guilt vanished.
Giving Carlos’ hand a slight squeeze, I focused on Grey. I’d continued to exercise my emotional purging but hadn’t notice any reaction so far since he’d started the car and steered us out of the garage. Then again, I didn’t feel much from him, either.
“Do you know where we’re going?” I asked him.
Grey’s eyes twinkled as he glanced at me in the mirror. “Winifred and Michelle are checking for a store, so we can get you a coat. After that, we’ll go to the address Penny provided.”
He maneuvered the traffic well, and once it slowed to a crawl, he turned into a parking garage that charged a ridiculous hourly rate.
“We’ll walk from here,” he said.
People crowded the sidewalks.
Let it in. Push it out. No one twitched or stilled. No one dropped or bled. In and out. I continued to siphon and drain with each inhale and exhale. Carlos stayed right beside me, probably watching me as closely as I was studying the crowd.
We hadn’t walked far when Grey paused before a boutique. The mannequins in the windows modeled upscale clothes.
“They’re never going to let us through the doors,” I said, glancing at Carlos. He at least didn’t look like a bum. No offense to Grey, but he and I didn’t rise above the bum bar.
“They will,” Grey said.
He pushed his way into the store. A woman looked up from the display she’d been dressing.
“Can I help you?”
“Winifred sent us for a jacket.”
“Of course. Mr. Cole, correct?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
The woman’s gaze traveled to me.
“Winifred said you might need more than a coat.” She kept her tone level, but I inhaled her feeling of agreement before I blew it back out again.
“Yeah, maybe something new would be a good idea.” Where we were likely going, I needed to fit in; and my just-from-the-gym look wasn’t what I was seeing on the streets.
I turned to Grey.
“I don’t have a wallet,” I reminded him quietly.
He winked at me.