He shakes his head as though he doesn’t know the answer, and he still has his back to me. I wish I could see his face, mostly his eyes, so I could see if he looks sorry for what he’s doing. “It’s easy to…to get wrapped up in it all. Tiffani’s so mad. She’ll probably try to report me, I just know it.”
“I can’t believe she’s…” I can’t even bring myself to say it, because I’m struggling to wrap my head around the whole thing. The only thing I can think of is this: it’s a damn good thing Ella doesn’t know yet, because I’m pretty sure she’d have a mental breakdown if she did.
“Me either,” he murmurs, and right as he’s opening up the cabinet door in the bathroom, he spins around and doubles over the toilet. He presses a hand against the wall to steady himself and heaves. It must be the shock of it all. I felt the same way too. “Fuck.”
“I don’t know what to say, Tyler.” I honestly don’t. How can I tell him everything is going to be okay when it seems like nothing will be? I rub his back in an attempt to comfort him, but it only makes me feel stupid. His ex-girlfriend is pregnant, and here I am, rubbing his back while he attempts to throw up over the idea of it. “Where does this leave us?”
“What?”
“Us,” I say again. “What’s going to happen with us? You and Tiffani?”
He heaves again, but nothing comes up, so he blows out some air and stands. Turning to face me, he finally locks his eyes with mine. He does look sorry. “I don’t know. I need to figure all of this out first.”
“I don’t know either,” I say, but my heart falls through my chest the second the words leave my lips. What the hell is going to happen now? Tyler and Tiffani just got tied back together. Where does that leave me? Tossed to the side while they figure out how to handle the situation they’ve just found themselves in?
Tyler edges past me and reaches into the cabinet to gather his toiletries, tossing them into the bag and beginning to zip it up. I notice there are some bottles left behind on the top shelf, and I know exactly what’s inside them.
I nod to the antidepressants. “Please take them. You won’t feel so down all the time.”
Tyler follows my gaze, and for a moment, he contemplates the decision. I know what he’s struggling with: antidepressants or alcohol and drugs. He glances back at me, sees my pleading expression, and then reaches for the three white bottles and tucks them into his bag. I can do nothing more than hope that he puts them to good use. Perhaps he’ll feel better.
We stare at each other for a moment before he leaves. He still looks extremely pale, like he’s been throwing up for weeks and has yet to recover. With his dull eyes mirroring mine, he leans forward and wraps his arms around me, pulling me into his embrace. It’s the first time he’s hugged me. Sure, I’ve kissed him a hell of a lot—we’ve even slept together—but we’ve never once just stood and held each other. We’ve never shared a moment like this, where my face is buried into his chest and his chin is resting on my head, and I can only wish that it’s the first of many, because I like the way my body seems to fit perfectly into his.
And although I’m hungover and sweaty from my run, he presses his cold lips to my forehead and whispers, “I’ll figure it out.”
He pulls away, and in that moment, he looks terrified. He has absolutely no idea what he’s doing, and no matter how hard he’s trying to put up a strong front, it’s so clear that he’s fighting the will to break down. I can’t blame him, I really can’t.
With a nod, he brushes past me and makes his way over to his door. I can only stare after him. I still feel numb, like I’m suffering from endless pins and needles, so I just watch as he steps out onto the landing without glancing back.
The last words I say before he leaves are, “I really hope you do.”
Chapter 29
Two days go by.