“I feel sick is all. A Jenna called here for you today. Who is she?”
Surprise lights his eyes and if he were anyone else I wouldn’t notice his hand ball into a fist at the mention of her name.
“Did she not say who she was?” I can hear nervousness in his tone and I want to scream and pound at his chest for him to just tell me so I don’t lose anymore of my mind making up my own reality of what’s happening. There has to be some explanations that will make all of this make sense and we can laugh about it and be us again.
“No,” I say.
“It’s probably a cold caller. I don’t know anyone called Jenna.”
I can’t breathe no matter how many breaths I take.
“Why are you quiet?” he asks, walking towards me with his arms spread out to take me into them like he has a thousand times before, but I step away. I won’t find the solace they always offered me this time. I can’t do this anymore. It’s like I’ve been swallowed by my nightmares and I can’t wake up.
“My silence should speak a thousand words. It should tell you how loud your voice is speaking with the lies burning your tongue and the damage it is causing to us.”
A tear leaks on to my cheek and scorches a trail down my face like acid. I turn from him and walk away with him calling after me.
WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT and why is Jenna calling my house? I didn’t even give her this number. I left her a message from my cell to ask to meet up to discuss Mr. Wallis and if she has anything that incriminates or links Ryan to his death, if he’s having sessions with her, she’ll know his mental state. I grab my cell and flick down to see the message she sent earlier. Has Mel looked through my phone and seen this? No, that wouldn’t make sense. She has never gone through my phone and even if she had she wouldn’t jump to conclusions over one text. She must be talking about something else. She was a little tense last night too. What changed over the course of one night? After chasing after her and sitting on the bedroom floor while she locked herself away in the bathroom, I needed to go meet the woman in question. I needed to know more about Ryan’s state of mind, and she would know better than anyone. I don’t like Jenna at all. I’ve always had trust issues and they increased after my own brother tried to kill me but there’s something about her that niggles at me.
“Mel, baby, I don’t know what the hell is happening but I don’t like it. This isn’t us. We need to talk when I get back.”
I’m the biggest motherfucking hypocrite. There I was telling her that hiding away in the bathroom isn’t us but I’m terrified of having this out with her because that’s exactly what I’ve been doing, in a manner of speaking. I’m hiding shit from her, acting like an asshole and an absent father and husband while I chase my fear for them round in circles, alienating them in the process. Does she know about Ryan? How could she know? Only I know out of the people she knows. I’m going to drive myself crazy but I can’t bear to see that tear fall from her eye and her flinch when I touch her. I would rather cut off my own arms than never have her in them again. I need to tell her about Ryan. I’m being foolish not telling her. I don’t want her living in fear of him but not knowing is destroying us anyway. Not knowing and not being cautious is just as dangerous. She’ll panic and try and pack us up and evacuate us, but if there’s one thing I know about men like Ryan, if they want to find you, they don’t give up until they do. He doesn’t seem to know about Mel and me but he must. He would have done some research but did he know about Cereus? And was this a warning statement? He has an alibi for last night but can we trust it? It’s too much of a coincidence.
Dr. Jarvis is already seated at a corner booth, eating a pasta dish. There’s some gentle music playing, and the soft humming of conversations. The Italian tomato sauce aroma thick in the air has my mouth watering. It’s a romantic little place and I must remember to bring Mel here when she’s talking to me again. She calls out to the waitress that I’m with her and waves me over. “I couldn’t wait I’m sorry. I’m starving and have a meeting in forty minutes so we have to keep this short.”
“Okay, there was a murder last night, same M.O of Ryan’s first kill,” I say sitting opposite her. She stops eating and wipes her mouth on a serviette and then sips her water.
“Bashing an innocent man’s skull in for no apparent reason?” she asks with an attitude.
“A school teacher in his classroom. The power was cut and all the CCTV ran off the main power. By the time the generator back up came on, the killer had been and gone.”
“Was this your daughter’s school?” she asks and then freezes.
How the fuck does she know I have a daughter? Unless Ryan knows and has spoken about her in his sessions.
“How do you know I have a daughter?”
She stares at me with her mouth open and closing.
“Motherfucker.” I jump out of my seat and run to my car. I bring up the GPS I have tracking Ryan’s phone and it tells me he’s at his new place.
He’s not there and I can see his phone on the counter through the windows. Donovan called me on the way over here; John is doing the autopsy straight away and has some information for us.
I’M THAT GIRL, THE ONE who waits for her husband to leave and then follows him. I’m repulsed by myself and by him and I swear to all the Gods that if I see him kiss or touch another woman, so help me, he will die from a thousand nail marks in his flesh. He’s gone inside and I creep up to the place and look through the window. He’s called over by a woman stuffing her face with pasta. She’s blonde and skinny and younger than me but I can hold my own, even high school boys think I’m hot. Oh kill me now, I really just let that thought have life. I’m ashamed of my actions and my thoughts.
Blake doesn’t appear intimate with her and before he’s even ordered, his face contorts in rage at something she’s said and then he stands and I quickly hide around the corner. I sneak a look and see him rushing over to his car and driving off. A few minutes later the woman, Jenna, is leaving too. I watch her get into a red Lexus and then follow her.
My insides are curdling when I follow her to Bluewater; this is where Ryan is being held. She pulls into a special private parking space reserved for Doctors and my head won’t stop spinning. I manage to pull into a space and turn the car off. It takes me twenty minutes to calm my breathing and exit the car. I hate even being this close to Ryan. He destroyed so many people and he stole my parents for no other reason than a sick game. The sorrow of their death whips my insides up like a tornado tearing through me. My legs are weak and I’m not sure if I can even enter. The guards and iron gates are intimidating. But there is an entrance via a gate manned by a guy in a box with a glass window.
“Can I help you, Mam?”
“I need to see one of the Doctors here. Jenna?”
“Name.”
“Melody Braxton,” I answer meekly.
He types into a computer and turns to me. “You don’t have an appointment, I need to call through.”
He picks up a phone, presses a button and speaks into the receiver and then a loud buzz and clanking sound pierces the air. I nearly die from the shock. He grins at me when he sees my hand dart to my heart and the color drain from my face.