Suddenly Lynch snapped to attention and ran his hand through his hair. “That’s right,” he said, his voice growing brittle. “I told her to come and hang out in my room, but she didn’t want to. Said something stupid like it wasn’t good luck for a bride and groom to share a room right before the wedding. It’s a dumb superstition, but I gave into it.”
“You gave into a lot, didn’t you?” Mattheus’s voice lowered and he moved closer.
“You could say that if you wanted,” said Lynch. “Since my dad died, I got a lot of people to keep happy, a lot of people depending on me.”
“Big pressure,” Mattheus continued.
“I can take it,” said Lynch.
“What do you think happened to Tara?” Cindy broke in on a new track.
“I have no idea,” Lynch replied, fitfully. “Where’d she go? Why? You got me. Last I knew she was excited about the rehearsal dinner. We made our peace. I told her I was going to visit the boy
regularly if that made her happy. And, I was going to take him to visit with us.”
Mattheus was all over it. “That’s a pretty tall order. How did you feel about it?” he asked
“Between you and me,” Lynch looked at him directly, “I thought it was nuts, but I told her I’d do it to make peace and have the wedding go forward.”
“Your mother suggested you do that?” Cindy broke in.
“How’d you know?” Lynch looked surprised by the question. “My mother has got a great head on her shoulders. She said all brides get nervous. Tell her you’ll do it. Give her what she wants. So I listened. Is there something wrong with that? Do you know how many people came down here to celebrate with us?”
“Did you actually plan to include the boy in your life afterwards?” Cindy was curious.
Lynch started shaking back and forth then. “I don’t know,” he mumbled, “I’m exhausted. I figured Tara would forget about it when time went on.”
“And if she didn’t forget about it?” Cindy pressed on.
“I don’t know,” Lynch repeated mournfully. “I thought I’d cross that bridge when I came to it.”
“What was your relationship with Tara like?” Cindy wanted more from him.
“I loved her, I loved her,” Lynch suddenly cried out, as a chill rose through Cindy’s body. “My God I loved her, she meant everything. If she wanted to include the boy, I would have.”
“Good of you,” said Mattheus softly.
“My God,” Lynch moaned. “I wanted her with me forever. Do you think she ran away because I wouldn’t actually meet the boy before the wedding?”
“She wanted you to meet him before the wedding?” Cindy was on the alert.
“Yeah,” Lynch sounded bereft. “I told her we didn’t have time to do it before the wedding, plus it would cause too much commotion, but I would definitely do it later. She made me promise and I got down on my knees and swore.”
“Sounds crazy,” said Mattheus.
“I thought she believed me, Lynch’s voice began to get wobbly. “She said she believed me. I even told my mother that I was going to see my son later on if Tara still wanted it, I’d even include him in my life. I promised.”
“What did your mother say to that?” asked Cindy agitated.
“She said there’d be plenty of time for everything later,” Lynch groaned. “But there isn’t, is there? There’s no later anymore.”
Cindy’s heart was gripped with sadness for him.
“Did Dawl hear about your decision to see the boy later on?” Mattheus asked.
“Who’s Dawl?” asked Lynch, confused.
“Bala’s brother. You don’t know him?” Mattheus said carefully.
“Oh yeah, I heard about him from Bala,” Lynch remembered. “He helps her take care of the kid these days.”
“In all the years you saw her you never met her brother?” asked Cindy.
Lynch grew quieter then. “Bala and I kept our relationship quiet. I didn’t meet her family and she didn’t meet mine.”
“And, in all these years, you never wanted to see your son?” Cindy could not help asking.
“He wasn’t my son, he was an accident,” Lynch’s voice grew heavy and low. “I did the right thing, I’m sending money. But is he my flesh and blood? No, he isn’t. And is he happy in the life he now has? Yes, he is.”
“You’re the boy’s biological father, aren’t you?” Mattheus asked, confused.
“Yes I am,” Lynch replied. “But does that make him my flesh and blood? No, your flesh and blood are people like you -.”
Cindy shuddered deeply at Lynch’s disconnection from his son. What else could he disconnect from like that? Could he perform a heinous deed like murder, and also justify it in his mind? Cindy needed to press the matter further.
“The courts would say that whether or not you feel it, this boy is your son,” she said.
“I realize that,” Lynch looked at her strangely, “and I pay dearly for it. What more do you want from me?”
“It’s not what I want,” Cindy answered, “it’s what Tara wanted.”
“So, let her want, want, want,” Lynch cried out. “I did my best and now she’s gone.”
“Did your mother just find out about these payments?” Mattheus broke in.
“Yes, that’s right,” Lynch mumbled.
“Lynch, do you think Dawl could have killed Tara?” Mattheus suddenly confronted him cold.