“It’s not so easy to drop someone you love,” Cindy said quietly.
“No, it isn’t,” said Mattheus. “I still go nuts at times thinking about Shelly.”
“Your wife?” asked Cindy. This was the first time he’d mentioned her name.
“It was good, we were happy. I thought we would last forever. We would have, too. We both felt it right away, as soon as we met.”
“I know how that is,” said Cindy, remembering when she’d first met Clint. It was as if the world had opened up in front of her, bringing this incredible gift. It was only destined to be enjoyed for a short while, though.
“There’s not one person in the world who can take Shelly’s’ place, either, “said Mattheus looking away.
“Nobody has to take her place,” Cindy said suddenly, a moment of clarity enveloping her. “Only, one day you might decide to make room in your heart for just one more.”
Mattheus was stung. He looked at Cindy sadly for a long while.
“The part that’s worst about it,” he finally said “is that I never found the guy who killed her. It drives me crazy. I can’t forgive myself. He’s out there, living his life and this beautiful woman is completely gone.”
“She’s not gone. She’s living inside you,” Cindy spoke heatedly. She felt such warmth and empathy for Mattheus. Clint was living inside her, as well. She felt it strongly as she spoke, realizing Clint could never disappear. She’d carry him and his love with her wherever she went. It was a wonderful moment, realizing that.
Mattheus slid closer on the sofa. “You’re an amazing woman, you know,” he said softly.
Cindy, taken aback, trembled.
She took a deep breath. Each word he said restored her.
“We’re lucky we have this work to do, and that we’re doing it together.”
Cindy wondered for a second, if he would ever be able to get past that, put it down, for even a short while? And would that even be good for them?
Strong winds suddenly blew in on them, giving them a taste of what was to come. All day the papers had been warning that hurricane Lola was coming their way. Paper was it was a hurricane 1 warning, to expect thunderous winds and rains. People were beginning to board up their homes already.
“We’re going to have to get out of here soon,” Mattheus said. “We’ll go back to Grenada until we take the next case.”
“I can’t go,” said Cindy.
“What are you talking about?” Mattheus flinched.
“Not without knowing who really killed Paul,” Cindy said.
Mattheus breathed more easily and put his hand on Cindy’s arm. “There are some things you never know,” he spoke softly. “Some cases you never close. You have to learn to live with it, and move on.”
“You haven’t,” Cindy said.
Mattheus smiled. “I’m trying to,” he said.
Cindy knew that was true. She saw how hard he tried to keep going.
“But when hurricane season comes, when the storms hit,” Mattheus continued, “you have to pack up and go.”
“Not when there’s an emergency,” said Cindy.
“There’s no emergency now,” he said.
“An innocent woman put in jail isn’t an emergency?”
“You don’t know for sure that she’s innocent.”
“We don’t know that she’s not.”
“You’re stubborn as hell,” Mattheus laughed.
“That’s what keeps me going,” said Cindy.
*
After their drinks Mattheus and Cindy each went to their rooms then, to wash up, relax and prepare for dinner. Cindy sat down on her bed and looked up at the sky. It was heavy and overcast with threatening clouds. Mattheus was right. The storms would soon be coming. And the entire island was preparing for it – stores packing up, people getting out of town, stores selling batteries and jugs of water.
At dinner, Mattheus was quieter than usual. They’d had quite an afternoon, thought Cindy, he was probably just reflecting on it. Finally, as desert was being served, he spoke up.
“I got two plane tickets for us back to Grenada for Wednesday.” he said matter of factly.
Cindy was stunned. “I just said I didn’t want to leave yet,” she said.
“That’s ridiculous. It doesn’t make sense. There’s nothing more we can do for her now.”
“I disagree,” said Cindy.
“Besides, she fired us,” said Mattheus.
“She did it in a moment of upset,” said Cindy. “It doesn’t mean I’m running away. I don’t care if she pays anymore. It’s not all about money.”
He leaned towards her powerfully. “It’s dangerous to stay during a hurricane. If people don’t have to be here, they’re not.”
“It’s more dangerous to leave a case half cooked,” said Cindy fitfully.
Mattheus grimaced. “Let’s look at this realistically. Kendra’s been caught lying over and over. She even lied to you.”
“It doesn’t mean she committed murder,” said Cindy.
“It doesn’t mean you can help her, either.”
“Then what did she call us down here for?” asked Cindy.