Death by Engagement (Caribbean Murder Series, Book 12)

“Whomever,” said Mattheus. “When we’re a couple, each of our needs has to come first. If I say I don’t want to go on a case, respect that.”


“I do respect it,” Cindy replied. “But does that mean I have to follow suit? What about my needs in this matter? I need to spend a couple of days helping out. Someone just died. It’s an emergency.”

“Everything in life can turn into an emergency,” Mattheus quipped, “especially when you’re a private detective. But you’ve got to know when to turn it off, Cindy. I can turn it off and it looks like you can’t.”

Cindy’s eyes filled with tears that stung badly.

“You’re addicted,” Mattheus whispered harshly. “This stuff can become like a drug, you can’t go a long time without it. You need the next case, are secretly panting for it. I’ve seen that happen to plenty of cops.”

“Hold on, there!” Cindy stood up taller. “I’m not one of these cops you’ve seen over the years, and I don’t like being told I’m addicted. I’m doing a job I’ve sworn to do. My sister just died, and I helped then too. If a terrible situation appears in front of my eyes, I’m not blocking it out and hunting for wedding venues. I’m jumping in. It’s who I am. The wedding venues can wait.”

“But I can’t,” said Mattheus.

Cindy felt her whole body go cold. “What are you telling me?” she asked directly.

“I can’t wait anymore to feel like I’ve got someone who makes me first in their life,” Mattheus mumbled. “I can’t sit here and hope and wonder.”

Cindy felt as if she’d been punched in her stomach. “You don’t feel like I make you first in my life?” she echoed. “You have to sit and wonder about it?”

“Right now I do,” he said bluntly.

“I don’t know how to answer that, Mattheus.” Cindy could barely speak. “I have no idea what to say.”

“Tell me you’ll put this case down right now, and come back with me on vacation,” he said.

Cindy felt hot tears falling down her face. “I wish I could, I really wish,” she whispered, “but I can’t stop now, Mattheus. There’s reason to think the suicide note was forged. And there’s a killer loose in Aruba. Two young women were killed a few months ago. I have to go down to Amaneuten Cove in the morning.”

“Go down to the headquarters for drug dealers by yourself?” Mattheus was horrified. “Is that what you were planning to do during our engagement celebration?”

“A killer is loose, anyone else could be his next victim,” Cindy breathed. “How would you like it if he was holed up near your daughter?”

“Leave my daughter out of this.” Mattheus’s face flushed. “I left her and her mother completely for you, remember?”

“Left them for me?” Cindy was astonished. “You met me long before you ever saw them again. I was the one who made you find your daughter.”

“That’s right, you were,” Mattheus exclaimed. “And despite her begging me to stay, I made my choice. I left her for you.”

Cindy’s body started to shake. She had no idea what to make of this. “Is that bothering you, Mattheus?” she said finally. “Are you feeling guilty about it? Do you want to go back to your daughter and her mother and give your daughter the family she never had? Is that why you’re making such a big deal about my taking a couple of days to investigate?”

At that Mattheus turned on his heel and walked off the balcony and out of the suite.

Cindy heard the door slam behind him, as she put her face in her hands and sobbed.

*

After Mattheus left, Cindy curled up on the sofa, called down for a pot of tea and sandwich and tried to make sense of it all. Mattheus obviously needed time alone now to blow off some steam. He was probably walking down by the water, as he often did when he was upset. The water always brought him back to his senses and a larger perspective. Cindy dearly wished she could call her sister, Ann, now and talk this over. Ann had been Cindy’s rock all her life, helping her make sense out of chaos and take the next steps in her life. No one would ever replace Ann, either. Since Clint died and Cindy had become a private detective, she hadn’t spent much time with friends or family. In one way Mattheus was right; this work had consumed her, prevented her from building her own personal life. Actually, Mattheus had become her whole support system now, Cindy now realized with a start. What would happen if he chose to leave? Cindy wondered what Ann would say about that now. Ann would probably tell Cindy that if Mattheus chose to leave, let him go, it just meant he wasn’t right for her after all.

As Cindy lay there wondering, the phone suddenly rang, breaking into her thoughts. She rolled over on her side and picked it up slowly.

“Listen, I love you, I’m crazy about you.” Mattheus was on the other end. “There’s no one else in the world for me but you. I’m shaken to the core by what just happened. I’m sorry I ran out. I just needed some space.”

“It’s okay, Mattheus,” Cindy said softly. “I know you love me and I love you, too.”