Cindy felt insulted. “We didn’t hang around on the beach all day. We were detectives Ann, we solved crimes together.”
Ann didn’t absorb a word Cindy said.
“Okay, when you met Mattheus you’d just been through a trauma, your judgment was off, Clint’s family was horrible to you. I could understand why you wanted to get away.”
“That’s a damning evaluation,” Cindy bristled. “I went down to Grenada for a reason – I was called there to help. And I did.”
Ann’s face soured. “I know, I read all the articles you sent me about what you achieved. I’m not making light of it.”
“You are.”
“No,” said Ann. ““I’m not taking anything away from your accomplishments, but this guy you got involved with, none of us has ever met him. We wondered why you were afraid to introduce him to us?”
“I wasn’t afraid, it just hadn’t happened yet. The time wasn’t right.”
“And, from what you told us,” Ann continued, single mindedly, “it sounded like he was running away from something, too. You have a history of bad judgment with guys, Cindy. You have to face that, now.”
Cindy felt maligned. She wondered for a moment if she should have allowed Ann to come and greet her at all.
Cindy,” Ann sat up straighter. “I don’t want to hurt you. I want you to have what you truly deserve. Is this the life you truly want? Chasing after murderers with an ex-cop at your side? What about family and children?”
“Of course I want family and children,” Cindy was stung to the core.
“Does Mattheus” Ann looked at her directly.
“We’ never discussed it,” Cindy said, realizing that for the first time.
Ann seemed truly aghast. “You’re telling me you were about to move in with a guy and you never discussed where your relationship was headed?”
“We were happy together,” said Cindy emphatically.
“What does happy mean?” Ann looked as if she were about to scream.
“We were happy, laughing, caring for each other,” Cindy spoke breathlessly, “he got who I was. I got him. We had long talks that meant a lot to me.”
“That’s not the whole story or you wouldn’t be home.”
“It’s never the whole story,” said Cindy. “Things come out later that can be shocking. They take time to digest.”
Ann held her hands out for Cindy’s. “Cindy, you’ve been through one catastrophe already, and now you have to rebuild your life. You can’t risk another disaster. You can’t afford to waste time with guys who come unhinged.”
Cindy bristled. It was painful to think of Mattheus as coming unhinged. And, it wasn’t the whole truth about him.
“You won’t be able to have children forever,” Ann went on, “and you don’t even know if he wants a family.”
“I loved him, Ann,” Cindy blurted out.
Ann looked alarmed. “Love is one thing,” she said, “and great sex in the Caribbean is something else. It could become a drug that helped you get over what happened.”
“That’s cruel, Ann,” said Cindy bitterly.
“No, it’s kind. The truth is always kind. What’s cruel is being dragged around in some kind of crazy dream.”
Ann always had a way of putting things that left Cindy silenced. There was always some truth to what she said - but not all.
Cindy shrugged lightly. “Well, I’m back anyway now, aren’t I?”
“I don’t know,” said Ann, “are you?”
*
The next day Ann insisted that the two of them go into town to freshen up Cindy’s wardrobe. A shopping expedition would hit the spot. The idea didn’t sound bad to Cindy, and she agreed.
She and Ann got into her car before noon and drove slowly into town. Cindy always enjoyed passing through the town of Cove Bay. It was a quaint suburb and the people in it were well-groomed, charming and reassuring, except for Clint’s family, of course. Cindy knew she should give them a call and let them know she was back in town. She didn’t want them to hear about it from somebody else, but she dreaded talking to them.
She and Ann drove past the large clock in the center of town and the small, charming, upscale shops and outdoor cafes that lined the streets. They passed Ben and Jerry’s, and found a parking spot on the street under an old, oak tree.
“We can shop for a while and then have lunch,” Ann was excited. “It’s autumn already and you’ll definitely need warm things for winter.”
Cindy let herself join in the festive atmosphere Ann was creating, but had no idea where she’d be when winter arrived. Maybe it wouldn’t be a bad idea to stay here for a while, see if her old job was still open. It would give her time to sort things out. Ann was right. Cindy loved working on cases when they came along, but they also took a toll. Living so deeply in the dark under belly of the world, she needed time to come up for air, unwind, wipe away the dark clouds that covered her mind. She needed to re-group, be nourished and filled once again with the goodness of life. It was appalling that Mattheus couldn’t