They checked the autopilot and went to the galley. Callum got them both a bowl of stew and placed one in front of her. She ate in silence for a minute, but after a few mouthfuls, she couldn’t face anymore. She put down the spoon and took a deep breath. Where to start?
“I can’t remember my life before the research center. Maybe I blanked it out when my parents were killed. Thea, my sister, was younger than I was, and she remembered something, at least at the start. She would ask me when was Mummy coming for us, and I’d look at her blankly.”
“What happened to her?”
“She died. I think she was around ten. I was eleven, though that’s guessing, as we didn’t exactly celebrate birthdays in there. I think because we were siblings they would conduct the same experiments on us, with one of us as control. It always seemed to be me. She would get sick, and I would be fine. When I realized, I used to beg them to use me, but they never listened, or maybe I was just stronger.”
She pushed the bowl of food away from her, as the pain churned in her stomach. “One time she didn’t recover. They took her to the medical center and she never came back. The guards told me they had put her down. She was too sick to bother with. No more use for more experiments. I think that was when I decided I wanted to kill them.”
Callum reached across the table, took her hand, and squeezed her fingers. “I’m sorry. I never knew, and if it makes it any better, I will know in the future. I’ll never use that excuse again. What happened to you after she died?”
“The same, but I went on without her. Actually, it was easier in some ways once Thea was gone. I had no one to worry about but myself. I learned to distance myself from the others, not to care when they died or left. But I knew that it was only a matter of time. There were grownups at the center but they were human, not GMs. The GMs were always sent to the mines when they reached adulthood.”
“Venna told me it was an agreement they made with the Church when they bought the children. That GMs would be destroyed when they reached maturity.”
“I suppose that figures. You know, I’ve been thinking, and the truth is if the research center hadn’t existed then the Church would have killed Thea and me along with our parents. I should probably be thanking you for saving my life.”
He shook his head. “How did you get to be so positive?”
“That was Rico.” A wave of pain flooded her as she thought of Rico, but she forced herself to go on. “I was pretty messed up, but he straightened me out, told me he might as well drain me dry and put me out of everyone’s misery if I didn’t cheer up. So I did my best to put it behind me.”
“How did you escape?”
She closed her eyes and relived those last hours in the research station. “I’d been planning for a long time. I’d made a knife. But I kept putting it off and putting it off.”
“Why?”
“Because however crappy my life was, I wanted to live, and I knew I had zero chance of getting out of there. Even if I took down a guard, got out of my cell, there was no way I could get off the station. I never admitted it to myself outright, but really it was suicide. Still, I figured better than dying a slow death in the mines.” She gave a short laugh. “Ironic really.”
“But you did get away.”
“That was Rico again. He was a prisoner there as well. He called out to me as I ran down the corridor after I killed the guard. He said he could get me away if I released him. So I did, and he bit me. Nearly drained me. Later, he told me he’d been there for three months and hadn’t fed in that time. I was lucky to survive. Then he got me away and never bit me again.”
“Have you and he ever…”
She knew exactly what he was asking. “Never. I think he recognized I was…damaged, and he left me alone. He was my friend. The first real friend I’d ever had. When I escaped the research center, I thought I wanted revenge. Rico persuaded me not to focus my life on that. He told me I would regret it, and even if I got my revenge, afterward I would be left with nothing. So I put it behind me, and I built a life, and it was a good one.”
“So why did you want the Meridian treatment?”
“Doesn’t everyone?”
“Not everyone, no. And some think they do but faced with the reality, they don’t really want it.”
“You can blame Venna.”
“Of course. Venna, the angel.”
There was something she’d been meaning to ask. “What did you do to Venna? Back there on the planet.”
“Zapped her mind. Sent a wave of energy into her. It hurts.”
“I saw—nifty trick. Thank you. She was one of your people. You didn’t have to side with me.”
“Yes, I did. And she lost the right to my protection when she betrayed us all.”
Us. She liked that he was identifying with them.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “For what happened to you and my part in it. I would take it back if I could, but that’s not possible.”