AHall80: That’s…
RubyMars: Awful. I know, she’s out of her mind.
AHall80: Heh
RubyMars: Are you ready to come back to the States?
AHall80: More than ready.
AHall80: Max has been sending over info on Scotland. I try not to look forward to things because shit happens, but it’s getting harder.
RubyMars: :) That’s sweet and terrible at the same time.
AHall80: It’s reality.
RubyMars: I know.
RubyMars: :) AHall80: I’m falling asleep. I’ll try to get on soon.
RubyMars: Okay. Sleep good.
AHall80: Night, Rube.
March 16th
AHall80: Rubes RubyMars: Hey.
RubyMars: How are you?
AHall80: All right. You?
RubyMars: Pretty good.
RubyMars: I have news. Guess what?
AHall80: You found a job?
RubyMars: No.
RubyMars: I appreciate the reminder.
RubyMars: :/
RubyMars: I have a date.
AHall80: With who?
RubyMars: My friends invited me over for a potluck last night, and this guy I’ve known for a while was there too. We weren’t really friends before, but we got along, and before I left, he asked if I’d go out with him. I thought of you and said sure.
RubyMars: I’m kind of regretting it now, but I don’t want to say never mind. I think I’m being a chicken.
AHall80: You are.
RubyMars: …..
AHall80: You know him?
RubyMars: Well enough. He’s really nice, but he’s younger than me.
AHall80: How much younger?
RubyMars: 2 years AHall80: So he’s what? 21?
RubyMars: Yeah.
AHall80: hmm
RubyMars: Hmm what?
AHall80: 21 year olds are shitheads. Don’t let him get away with too much.
RubyMars: Jeez. What kind of girl do you think I am?
AHall80: A good girl. That’s what I’m trying to say.
RubyMars: :) Okay good.
RubyMars: I have zero expectations, except hopefully having a free meal, lol.
RubyMars: If my older sister saw me write that, she’d kill me.
RubyMars: One time a few weeks ago, I made a joke about looking for a sugar daddy and she lectured me for half an hour.
AHall80: Let me know how it goes. Don’t go back to his place.
AHall80: You don’t need a sugar daddy.
RubyMars: I’m not. I swear. Just a meal.
RubyMars: I know. :) RubyMars: Speaking of, were you a shithead when you were 21?
AHall80: Yeah, I was a complete shit back then. I’m telling you from experience.
AHall80: :]
AHall80: How’s the job hunt going?
RubyMars: Bad, but I got more work doing ice-skating dresses for a few girls up in New York, and this one popular male figure skater’s coach wrote me today, so we’ll see what happens. My older sister is paying me to make her dog some bandanas. We’ll see how that goes too. I won’t say no to pity money.
AHall80: Good
RubyMars: I’ll let you know what happens, but I promise I’m not jumping into anything random. I’m just trying.
AHall80: It’s about time you did.
RubyMars: Hey, I got those pictures you e-mailed me yesterday of Ax with her collar on. If I thought it would get there before you leave, I’d send her a bandana.
AHall80: Make one for Aries. I’ll pay you.
RubyMars: I’ll make one for him, but you don’t have to pay me. Just tell me where to ship it.
AHall80: I have a job, you don’t. I can pay.
RubyMars: All I see is “Blah, blah, blah.” Give me an address to ship it to.
AHall80: ….
RubyMars: ….
AHall80: Your mom isn’t the only bossy one.
RubyMars: :) RubyMars: Send me the address.
AHall80: I’ll think about it.
AHall80: I gotta go.
AHall80: Talk soon.
RubyMars: Okay bye.
AHall80: Bye RC
March 19th
AHall80: Hey
RubyMars: Hey.
AHall80: I got your box today. Thank you.
RubyMars: You’re welcome. I hope you aren’t getting bored I’m always sending the same kind of stuff, but why mess up a good thing?
AHall80: It’s all great. I’ve told you before you don’t have to send me anything, but I’m not going to say no to books and food.
RubyMars: I forgot to ask. Did you end up trading for The Hobbit?
AHall80: Yeah. Already finished it and traded 2 Dan Brown books for the first LOTR book.
RubyMars: That’s a fair trade. Tell me what you think.
AHall80: I will.
RubyMars: Have any of your other Help a Soldier people sent you things recently?
AHall80: A couple weeks ago I got a big box of socks, baby wipes, and snacks.
RubyMars: Sounds like fun.
AHall80: It was. I already ate everything. :]
RubyMars: Party animal. :) RubyMars: Have you heard anything else about when you’re leaving for good?
AHall80: Not yet, but everything seems to be on schedule. Should be about 8 weeks. The longest 8 weeks of my life.
RubyMars: I’m sure.
AHall80: I want a shitty, greasy, deep dish pizza like you can’t imagine. I can already taste it.
AHall80: A hot shower… a real bed… AC everywhere…
RubyMars: Clean clothes?
AHall80: Clean clothes. Clean socks. No sand.
RubyMars: Clean underwear.
RubyMars: No sand? I thought you were planning on going to the beach?
AHall80: The beach is different. There’s water. It isn’t just desert and more desert.
RubyMars: I guess that makes sense.
RubyMars: My brother said once that his goal is to never see sand in his life again.
AHall80: For real.
RubyMars: What I didn’t finish saying was that he said that, but he’s gone to Cancun twice with his boyfriend, LOL.
AHall80: It’s different. I’m over this sand shit.
AHall80: Never again RubyMars: Does that mean you’re dead set on not re-enlisting?
AHall80: …
RubyMars: Whatever you want. I’m not judging. We don’t have to talk about it.
AHall80: It’s not that I don’t want to talk about it…
RubyMars: But you don’t want to talk about it.
AHall80: :] Basically.
RubyMars: I’ll change the subject then.
RubyMars: Have you gone #2 lately?
AHall80: Three days ago.
RubyMars: Are you joking?
AHall80: I wish.
RubyMars: AARON
AHall80: I know. I KNOW.
RubyMars: Does it hurt?
AHall80: Uh, when it comes out?
RubyMars: Omg
RubyMars: Aaron RubyMars: I meant your stomach.
RubyMars: Does your stomach hurt?
RubyMars: I can’t breathe RubyMars: Or type
RubyMars: I didn’t mean your… rectum.
RubyMars: Aaron?
RubyMars: Aaron?
RubyMars: Are you there?
RubyMars: AARON?
AHall80: You’re not the only one who couldn’t breathe or type.
RubyMars: LMAO I’m crying.
AHall80: me too
AHall80: me too
RubyMars: I mean… you can tell me if your butt hurts too, I guess.
AHall80: Ruby, stop
RubyMars: Seriously. You can tell me. I won’t judge.
RubyMars: It happens.
RubyMars: I think.
AHall80: Stop
RubyMars: I can’t breathe AHall80: I don’t know when the last time I laughed so hard was.
AHall80: Everyone is looking at me wondering wtf happened.
RubyMars: Your rectum happened AHall80: BYE
RubyMars: I can’t stop laughing AHall80: You’re never hearing from me again RubyMars: There are tears coming out of my eyes.
AHall80: Bye. I’ll write you again when I find my balls.
RubyMars: It was nice knowing you.
AHall80: BYE
March 22nd
AHall80: Hey
RubyMars: Hey
RubyMars: How are you?
RubyMars: And by ‘you’ I mean you as a whole, not any specific body part.
AHall80: ….
AHall80: ….
AHall80: Never living that down, am I?
RubyMars: What do you think?
AHall80: I’m thinking that’s a negative RubyMars: :) RubyMars: I’m still laughing about it.
AHall80: I bet you are
AHall80: Miss I walk into closed doors RubyMars: Har har
RubyMars: I’m guessing you found your balls somewhere?
AHall80: …
RubyMars: I’ll take that as a yes.
RubyMars: Guess what?
AHall80: You’re not constipated?
RubyMars: Yes because I eat enough broccoli (covered in cheese), but besides that.
AHall80: What is it?
RubyMars: I went on a date with that guy.
AHall80: The 21 year old?
RubyMars: Yep, and it was only awkward about half the time.
AHall80: What’d you do?
RubyMars: We went to this comic book store and then went for coffee.
AHall80: A comic book store?