Instead of speaking he stood and stared at me for a moment. All I knew was I wouldn’t retract my question nor would I be the first one to break the silence. I had poked the proverbial sleeping bear, and speaking would be the same as running away, I had to wait for Alexis’ next move. While I stood there I could see him thinking about my question, he was honestly considering it. Perhaps my request would turn into more than wishful thinking.
Waiting for the answer that would change the rest of my life... Okay maybe that was a bit strong, but the answer would at least affect my life in some way. I tried, I really tried to wait patiently, but he still kept silent, all the while studying me with those unwavering eyes. As the silence stretched I came to a couple of conclusions, first, he was reweighing my worth. Granted, I had only known the man for a short while but for some reason I had the feeling that he was typically steadfast in his decisions. If nothing else, I had managed to make him reconsider my worth. Now if only this was enough to tip his decision in my favor.
The second thought that ran through my mind was much more simplistic. Alexis knew how to use silence almost like a physical weapon. As the strain grew, second by second, I could swear I was being pummeled by fists. Despite the mental beating I was taking I would like to say that I managed to keep my dignity and never resigned myself to whatever was to come. I would like to say that, but it wouldn’t be true. The truth was that, for a moment, I was willing to accept my death. After that initial moment I found my determination once again. I wouldn’t resign myself to merely wait for my execution. Only a dead man patiently waits for death when he thinks there is even the slightest chance he will live.
After allowing my anxiety to build, he slowly started to nod his head in assent. He kept silently nodding until I lost count at around thirty nods. What ever happened to a simple “yes” or “no”?
After a few more moments he stopped moving his head and latched his eyes upon mine, keeping the silence intact. If I could have, I would have started looking for wounds from this bloody silence. Eventually, he broke the silence and his words honestly shocked me. “To tell you the truth, I was thinking about telling Dempsey that I had just killed you out of hand." The bluntness of those words were like a knife to my heart. He must have seen the look of fear that sparked in my eyes because he quickly finished his thought. "It would have been mostly accurate if not completely true…”
I quickly interrupted his train of thought, “You still haven’t made up your mind?!” I just couldn’t keep my mouth shut.
With my words I could see the rage bubble up in his eyes, but that didn’t last very long. Attempting to recover from the lapse of control Alexis shut his eyes as his lips closed down upon a captured breath. Right then I realized that my mouth could have either gotten me struck down or restrained in complete darkness. “Don't you listen, boy? Or are you too intent upon running your mouth? Not two minutes ago I told you that I haven’t made a decision. Do you honestly think that I could have decided such an important issue in as little time as that?"
As he paused just long enough to catch his breath I realized the questions were merely rhetorical. I was barely able to keep my mouth shut, but I did it and continued to listen. "Though, when you ask questions like that I definitely lean in a very unfortunate direction." Rubbing his face with his hands, he mumbled something unintelligible before lowering his hands to continue the conversation. "But no matter what I end up doing, if I brought you along with me now, that would send a much more powerful message.” Clenching his hands into fists he added, “And those tend to create the more lasting impression.”
“So, you’ll take me along?” Right then I didn’t care if he thought I was dense, all I knew was I was going to get a chance to change his opinion of me. A feat I wasn’t entirely sure I could manage, but, at least I would have the chance to try.
Then I saw the glare he leveled at me and began to wonder if the question had been all that good of an idea. He seemed to be hunting for anything to use against me, whether it was catching me in a lie or just a reckless question. And I got the feeling that I wouldn’t survive long once if he found it. In that moment I knew with absolute certainty that I would never be able to lie to him. Held spellbound by those truth seeking eyes, I almost missed his question. “Can I trust you to behave yourself and act strictly as an observer?”
“Can I ask him a question or two?” I asked without any hesitation, what was I thinking?
As I started cursing my big mouth I saw a glimmer of respect appear Alexis’ eyes. It was gone so quickly I thought I had merely imagined it, but then I saw it again. With this newfound respect in his eyes he chewed his lower lip as he pondered my question. After another interminable silence he focused his eyes upon me and spoke a single word, though he still managed to make the one word sound very imposing. “Questions?” He seemed slightly surprised by my request. Once he had fully regained his composer he continued. “You want to stand in front of Dempsey so that you can ask him some questions?”
“The day I stop asking questions is the day I have nothing left to do.” I leaned closer to Alexis, or at least I would have if I hadn’t still been frozen, and added, “And I’m in no particular rush to die.” I had the feeling that he thought I was joking but I couldn’t have been more serious.
It took him a few seconds to catch on, but he eventually did. I was expecting him to have an argument of some kind ready, no one liked to be strong-armed into something. What I wasn’t prepared for was the jolly laughter that emanated from him. I stood there, slack-jawed at his response, but before I could reply he said, “You can’t see the humor in your question can you?” I’m sure he could see the bewilderment on my face, I was not looking good in front of my would-be executioner.