Her gaze swept over the rippled chest that moments ago she’d been nestled on, the powerful arms that had embraced her, the talented mouth that had driven her over the edge time and time again. The erection that appeared the second she laid eyes on his groin. Yes, she had Luke. For now, at least.
“I couldn’t sleep,” she admitted.
He wrapped his arms around her from behind, kissing the top of her head, and she let herself sink into his warmth. Silent, they watched the water lap against the sand and listened to the crash of the waves and sleepy wailing of the gulls.
When he spoke again, what he said didn’t surprise her. “I didn’t use protection.”
“I know.” Her voice quiet, she turned and pressed her face against his chest, inhaling the scent of him. “It’s okay.”
He lifted her head with his hands and forced her to look at him. “You were protected?”
Swallowing the lump in her throat, she said, “Yes.”
She expected to see relief in those gray eyes. Maybe even pleasure. But he remained emotionless. A thousand questions bit at her tongue but she held them at bay. She didn’t want to ruin anything. This night had been too wonderful to destroy with after-sex questions. What’s going to happen? What does this mean? Where do we go from here?
Tonight they’d all go unanswered.
“The ocean is beautiful at night,” he murmured, holding her tighter. “Peaceful.”
She rested her cheek against his shoulder. “That’s one of the things I like best about living here. God, I love the ocean.” She sighed. “My parents did too.”
The heat of his hand seeped into her back. “Do you still miss them, Ellie?”
“Every day.” She tilted her head to look up at him. “Do you miss your mother?”
His eyes grew cloudy, a swirl of black and gray tinted with pain. “Yes.” His Adam’s apple bobbed. “It’s her birthday next week. The day I dread year after year.”
“Dread?” she echoed, confused.
“My dad,” he explained in a hoarse voice. “He calls me every year and invites me to spend Mom’s birthday with them.”
Them? Ellie’s confusion deepened but she couldn’t find a tactful way to voice her questions. Though he rarely talked about her, Ellie knew Luke’s mother had died when he was in college. Since Ellie knew what it was like to lose a parent, she’d never pushed Luke to talk about his mom, but now she had to wonder if the loss had affected the surviving Russell men more than she’d thought.
“He still hasn’t accepted the fact that she’s dead,” Luke said, sparing her from coming up with a way to ask about it. “He acts like she’s still alive. He cooks dinner for two every night, for Christ’s sake.”
“I’m sorry, Luke. I didn’t know.”
He pinned her down with a harsh look. “Oh no, don’t say it like that. I know what you’re thinking.”
She slipped out of his embrace. “Excuse me?”
“My father isn’t crazy, Ellie. I won’t send him away.”
Shock spilled into her bloodstream. “That’s not what I was thinking at all.”
“No?” Sarcasm sliced through his tone. “That’s what Robin suggested I do. She couldn’t stand the fact that I refused to cut him out of my life. Apparently a loony father-in-law put a damper on her plans.”
Ellie grabbed for his arm and dug her fingers into his skin, gluing her gaze to his. “Well, I’m not Robin. I would never ask you to cut off your own father.”
She dropped his arm and hugged her chest tightly, trying to keep her anger at bay, but the very fact that he’d compared her to his ex made her want to spit nails. Didn’t he know her by now? She’d lost both her parents, for God’s sake, she’d never advise someone to shun the only family they had left.
“You know what I was thinking when I said I was sorry?” she shot out. “I was thinking how long it’s been since I’ve seen your dad and how I’d like to visit him again.”
Luke blinked. “What?”
“You heard me.”
“Why would you want to visit him?”
She erased the distance between them and touched his cheek. “Because I remember him being a wonderful man and it breaks my heart knowing he’s in pain.”
“You’d really want to see him like that?”
“He needs human contact, Luke. The more he’s alone the more he’ll start to slip away. I don’t think you should ever stop seeing him. It’s your job to show him he’s still got something to live for. Your job to keep him connected to reality.”
The side of Luke’s mouth lifted in a smile. He drew her into his arms and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “I’m sorry I compared you to Robin. I know you’re nothing like her.”
Ellie pressed her face against his collarbone and breathed in the spicy scent of his bare skin. “It’s okay.”
She felt his warm breath on her hair. “It’s just…I feel so bad for him, Ellie. He’s just wasting his life away. He won’t even let himself mourn the woman he loved.”
With a ball of emotion lodged in her throat, she leaned up and pressed her mouth to his in a slow, soft kiss.
“What was that for?” he asked when she pulled back.
Tenderness reflected in his gray eyes, stealing her breath. She tried to speak but all that came out was, “I just…I…”