Why the hell had he said that? The sleepless night he’d faced since walking Ellie back to the club and hightailing it out of there should’ve provided him with an answer, but it hadn’t.
Kissing Ellie had been the stupidest thing he could have done, given the situation. He knew damn well what she’d been trying to do last night. She thought that if she pushed him hard enough, she’d scare him away. Under any other circumstances, her plan probably would’ve worked. But no matter how much she teased and taunted him, he knew he had to stay. Josh rarely asked for favors, and the fact that he’d trusted Luke to come after his sister was reason enough to stick around.
He wondered if Josh would still trust him if he knew what Luke had said to his sister last night.
Next time I won’t be as gentle.
Christ, what was wrong with him?
With a groan, Luke pulled into the small driveway and killed the engine. His palms were unusually damp as he reached for the door handle. Damn, he had to talk to her about that kiss. If it were any other woman, he’d turn on the charm, explain it had been a mistake, and offer a quick can we still be friends? But it wasn’t another woman. It was Elenore Dawson.
The image of her on the dance floor floated into his head, quickly followed by the memory of how soft her lips had felt under his and how warm her tongue had been as it swirled against his own. His cock instantly stirred, causing him to let out a string of expletives that fortunately nobody was around to hear. Why couldn’t he turn off his desire?
Why do I have to?
The thought made him pause. He let go of the door handle and leaned back in the leather seat, staring out the windshield at Ellie’s pink bungalow. Suddenly he was doubting himself. Hesitating. Reconsidering.
Why couldn’t he get involved with Ellie? She was gorgeous, after all. Ridiculously stubborn, but he liked that about her. He also liked her fire. Her spunk. Her dancing amazed him. Her passion overwhelmed him. So what kept holding him back? Was it Josh, or was it simply—
The ringing of his cell phone interrupted his thoughts. Ironically, the second he glanced at the caller ID he remembered exactly why he couldn’t be with Ellie.
“Hi, Dad,” he said into the phone.
The sound of his father’s voice brought on the usual feelings of pity and weariness, along with the sobering realization of why he’d decided to remain a bachelor all these years. It was a voice tinged with sorrow and pain, hopelessness and defeat.
“You’ll be coming home next month, won’t you, Lucas?” Gregory Russell sounded distressed.
“I’m not sure yet, Dad. I might be on assignment.”
“But it’s your mother’s birthday.”
My mother is dead. He wanted so badly to shout out those words but he bit them back. It was pointless. His father would probably never accept the fact that his wife was dead. She’d passed away from breast cancer almost a decade ago, yet the man still acted as if she was alive and kicking. He set the table for two every night when he ate dinner. He prepared two cups of coffee every morning when he woke up. He spoke of his wife in the present tense, kept all of her clothes hanging in their closet and bought her Christmas presents each year.
And he never forgot to celebrate her birthday. Gifts, cake, decorations, the whole production. Luke had humored his father at the beginning. He showed up for the birthday celebrations, casually ate his damn cake and acted like everything was normal. Until enough was finally enough.
He suspected that’s why he’d been so drawn to bodyguard work. The constant traveling, never really getting too close to the people he was supposed to protect. Though he had a small apartment in San Francisco, he was very rarely there, and that suited him just fine. Living out of a suitcase sure as hell beat seeing his father on a daily basis, witnessing the old man’s slow approach to the edge of insanity.
Luke did his best, though. Whenever he wasn’t working he visited his dad. They had dinner together, watched the Super Bowl every year, even caught a Giants game once in a while. When they were out of the house, surrounded by people, Luke even forgot about his dad’s deteriorating mental state. Until Gregory brought up Luke’s mother—that’s when the reality of the situation came rushing back.
Put him in a home. That had been Robin’s solution, to sweep the problem under the rug and forget about it. But Luke would never have been able to live with himself if he’d just shipped his father off to an old-age home. His dad wasn’t senile, he was just…off-kilter. And Luke simply didn’t have the heart to send him away.
“I really hate to miss Mom’s birthday,” Luke said into the phone. He felt disgusted with himself for contributing to his father’s delusions but he’d been doing it for so long it came naturally now.
“Well, you know we’d love to see you, but if you have to work…” Gregory sighed. “There’s always next year.”