Harlow grinned ever so slightly. “Yes. Short ones too. I don’t like having to look up so much. Hurts my neck.”
“Makes sense. What else do you like?”
“Those big handlebar mustaches.”
Laughing, I nodded. “Those are pretty sweet.”
“Pasty, short, nice men with big mustaches are my thing.”
“None of them around here?”
“Oh, they’re around, but I have issues.”
Holding her gaze, I said softly, “Everyone has issues. Even people without real issues make up fake issues so they can fit in.”
“Mine are real.”
“Mine too. We’re a walking talking ABC’s Afterschool Special here.”
Despite rolling her eyes, Harlow clearly felt confused. I suspected she spent most of her life confused. This was just another reason why I wanted her. She was perfect for me like no other woman could be. Harlow was hard enough to endure the ugly man I became, yet soft enough to embrace the good man I was years ago. Over the years, I met plenty of women who fell for one side or the other. Yet, I’d never known anyone as complicated as Harlow.
“I want you to stay with me while I’m in town,” I said, no longer teasing.
“I don’t think I can.”
“Can isn’t the word you’re looking for. What you mean is you won’t stay with me because you’re scared.”
“Wouldn’t you be?”
Nodding, I gently lowered her leg. “In prison, I was raped. I’m sure this fact would be obvious, but men often lie about it. They lie for the same reason women lie, thinking the truth makes them weak. Better to lie than admit they were powerless at one point. I feel no shame about what happened, but I have my demons that keep me awake a night. In my line of work, I need to remain sharp. There’s more going on in Ellsberg than paintball games. If you stayed with me, I think I could sleep. No sex. No romance. None of the crap you’re worried about.”
“Why would I help?” she asked and I knew she was warming up to the idea of staying at my place. “I have nightmares too. I get stressed in the dark. I feel things for you, but they scare me. I’d be pissy while staying with you. How is any of that going to help you sleep and stay sharp?”
Leaning forward with my hands on each side of her, I studied her beautiful face. “You’re my dreamcatcher. Don’t tell me how I know, but I do. I only slept last night when I thought about you. Nothing dirty. Just imagined your house, what you liked to eat, where you went to school. That stuff helped me relax.”
“What if you’re wrong and having me around doesn’t help?”
“Then I’ll kick you out on the street and you’ll be homeless,” I teased.
She rolled her eyes. “I like the idea of being your dreamcatcher, but my parents won’t agree.”
“They will if you want them to,” I said, stepping away and sitting in the chair. “If you don’t want them to, they’ll say no and give you an out. It’s up to you. I’m not planning to lock you up in my apartment. Can’t have Cooper taking his eye off the ball by playing hero and saving you.”
“Is Cooper in trouble? Should I warn him?”
“Would you trust me if I said no?”
Harlow studied me with her big almond-shaped eyes. I liked how she didn’t throw out a simple yes, but really considered whether she could trust me.
“Yes,” she finally said and I smiled.
“Cooper needs to focus on appearing strong and in charge. If he freaks out about you and me, he looks like a punk. As long as he remains focused on his club, the Memphis boys will focus on the other guys they’re testing.”
“What others?”
Still smiling, I shook my head. “You keep asking for free info. I don’t believe in sharing without something in return.”
“What do you want?”
“How did you hurt your knee?”
Harlow’s smile faded as she worked up the strength to say the words.
“The guy from the Devils, the one who started all the problems for me and Vaughn, his name was Playboy. He was the first one who raped me. I tried to run away once, so he started giving me drugs. I was out of it one day and lost my balance. When I fell, I twisted my knee.”
After years of hiding my true emotions, I knew how to conceal my rage when she spoke about her past. Harlow didn’t crave pity. She wanted respect, so I only nodded. Since she shared something, I answered her earlier question.
“Some of the guys in town for the paintball games are making moves in the organization. They’re being tested as much as Cooper. Some are young, some aren’t. They all have something to prove. If I had to guess, they should be more concerned than Cooper. He’s part of a solid club and his father has handled this territory well for a long time. You shouldn’t worry about your buddy.”
“Thank you,” Harlow said softly.